My fiancé and I are getting married next September.
For context, my parents are divorced and have both re-married. I have a very good relationship with my step-dad, so much so that I want him to jointly give me away with my dad. My mum explicitly told me that if my dad gives me away, then my step-dad won't. I asked my mum whether this was my step-dad's decision, and she told me it was her decision & that she had decided this for him. I've obviously told her that this only makes my step-dad lose out, but all she does is say she feels like she and him are under-appreciated because I want to involve my dad..
I'm getting my wedding dress hand-made. Thank goodness the dress I'm going for meets her approval, but we keep arguing over the neckline. She basically thinks anything that isn't up to my collarbones is too revealing. She's now decided she wants her dress handmade (no issue with this at all), but all of the dresses she's looking at having made are EXTREMELY bridal looking, just in a navy blue. They are all lace bodice & sleeved ball-gowns. I've asked her to tone it down, as she even made a point of keeping my bridesmaid dresses simple because 'we don't wan't them to divert any attention away from me', yet the dresses she's looking at are extremely over the top. She has stated she doesn't want to look like a 'typical mother of the bride' and that she will wear whatever she likes, whether or not I like it. I told her I'm going to choose my bridesmaid dress styles, but I won't put someone in something they are uncomfortable with (for example, if one of my bridesmaids hates their arms, I'm not going to put them in a strap dress). She's accused me of being a people pleaser, even though I explicitly told her I'm still choosing their dresses!
She's tried to dictate how I should have my hair, she's tried to dictate my menu, she's tried to dictate who will be staying at the venue the night before (even though I've told her we're having parents, bridesmaids & the best man). She's tried to dictate my save the dates, invitation ideas, how many people can do speeches (because she finds them boring) etc.
I've told her multiple times it's not her wedding, and all she says back is she feels under appreciated. I've really enjoyed wedding planning and haven't found it at all stressful...other than my mother! Has anyone had any experience with over-controlling mothers? Ultimately, I'm going to go with what I want because its my wedding & I don't want to look back with regrets. However, I'm really struggling with the stress she's causing & her complete 'I'll do what I like' attitude.