Overreacting ??

I’d think she was being a bit attention seeking to be honest. If I was at a wedding where a guest was wearing white, I would think that guest is 100% trying to grab the other guests attention away from the bride. I think it would also make her look a little bit desperate. Just seems like such an odd thing to do when brides wearing white is such a well known tradition. Is there any chance she’s just not aware of the tradition? I wouldn’t get too hung up on it though, if she insists on wearing white then let her, she’ll just be making herself look silly 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s not worth stressing over one guests outfit as everyone will still be commenting on how amazing you look in your dress anyway.

View quoted message Yes I think she is definitely aware of the tradition. Considering when she told me she had got her dress for the wedding she tried to disguise it as being cream and gold. Then I went on the Website to see the dress and they have it down as white. She knew she couldn’t say white though because she knows how bad that sounds and looks for her. I’ll send a pic of the dress x

This is the dress she said she has ordered x

Hmm, I suppose it’s not too bad, it doesn’t look like a bridal gown so that’s good! The skirt looks a little bit grey in the photo as well. As she’s tried to play down the colour to you she might not have realised the dress was labelled as white until she bought it, and now she feels a bit silly maybe? She might get some funny looks from some people, but it certainly won’t detract from you or your day. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

If she's a Bridesmaid you would be choosing her dress, if not then your guests will all chose their own outfits so you might have multiple guests wearing white so I wouldnt worry about it x

View quoted message It does look cream and gold, don't stress yourself out over it

View quoted message This isn’t a white dress by any stretch of the imagination. I wore an ivory and nude separate (midi skirt) with a coral blazer (though it was so hot I took it off post church ceremony) and jewellery to a friends wedding years ago.


I looked nothing like the bride and nobody mistook me for the bride. The bride loved the outfit.
I think unless a guest is wearing a full length white/ivory dress with a veil there is little chance of mistaking them for the bride. I’ve seen some wedding where the bridal party wear ivory like the bride and there is no mistaking them for the bride. Don’t worry- more than enough to worry about wedding planning during a pandemic 🤣🙈

View quoted message No I didn’t assume for a minute that anyone would mistake her for the bride or that she would look like a bride in this particular dress. Think I’ve been misread. I find it disrespectful to wear white to a wedding I personally feel it’s something that should reserved for the bride it’s one day x

It wouldn't bother me unless I knew the guest was going it deliberately to try to annoy me. And then I'd be more sad that they were being unkind on my wedding day than annoyed over what they were wearing.

I've always thought the idea behind not wearing white is so that you don't look like the bride. Since there is nothing remotely 'bridal' about that dress, I don't see a problem with it. I don't think it's necessary to avoid the colour white completely at a wedding (unless it is a wedding in a culture where white is a symbol of mourning or bad luck) - I mean, most weddings I've been to, there have been at least a few men in white shirts!

View quoted message Yes it was deliberate

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If it's deliberate, then your problem isn't really with the dress - it's with the attitude of the person wearing it, who is trying to upset you.

The best response is no response - don't react to it at all. I wouldn't expect most people will think twice about what she is wearing. And if they do, it isn't going to reflect badly on you anyway. So don't let it get to you.

View quoted message I understand what you are saying. My response was supposed to be a nicer (though long winded) answer to the question you initially posed.


Yes, I think that based on the dress you shared you are overreacting. The dress is patterned in colour not white. I think it’s a pretty summer wedding dress.That being said, you know your SIL so will know if there was malicious intent in her choice. If you think there was ask you brother to advise her to change.... or get a BM or child to spill on her so she has no choice but to change 🤣🙈.
Maybe I’m too laidback. Just my opinion x

Personally, I'd be p*ssed. It's not the done thing. I'm not even wearing white to my wedding but as its the traditional bridal colour focus would still be on the white.

View quoted message This is my issue with it. She is a close family member. She will be in all the pics with us and if it’s top half photos then technically she is wearing white in my photos with me on my wedding day. It’s my First marriage. I do get that it’s not a bridal gown and no ones is going to mistake her for the bride or that she will in any way out do me. It’s just that it is one day. One day out our lives and there are so many other colours that she can wear. I mean come on.

To add: I've just read the comments and seen the dress in question... Based on that I do think it's a bit of an overreaction, it's not fully white nor anywhere near resembles a bridal dress so I think you should just focus on your day and if she's trying to pull one over on you it won't work 😊 x

I think this is absolutely fine for a guest. Definitely wouldn't consider it white and wouldn't look twice if one of my guests wore this.

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Don't let it get to you - she's still not going to be the bride!

Most weddings there are very few top-half only photos of family groups anyway, and if there are, it still won't matter. For one thing, you have the choice over what photos you print or share, so if you don't like top-half-only ones with her in it, then don't use them.

My MIL wore a white top to our wedding and I never even registered it - I only noticed when I read your post and went back to check our wedding pics to see what colours everyone was in! So I really think you're letting this worry you far more than you need to.

If she's doing this to wind you up, the best thing you can do is to completely ignore it - if she realises that she's not annoying you by it, she doesn't get a 'reward' for her bad behaviour!