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Beginner August 2014

Overseas Bridesmaids

fatbunneh, 24 June, 2013 at 20:57 Posted on Planning 0 9

Hi everyone,

I have two very close friends, both of whom live in Qatar. I live, and am getting married, in London. They're very excited about flying over for the wedding and have no problems doing so (both earn way more money than I do!)...I assume I'll probably have to have the hen night relatively close to the wedding so they don't fly over twice or take up too many holiday days.

One of these girls (Abby), I've known since I was 11, and though we aren't as close as we used to be, we still have a lot of fun when we see each other (once a year if we're lucky). The other girl (Zara) is a uni friend, and has only just left the UK. She has always been much better at keeping in touch, and is, in general, more 'there' for me. She can, however, get on my nerves if I spend too much time with her...

I'd like to ask Abby to be my maid of honour, since we have such a long history, and because I know out of the two she'd be the most upset if I didn't. I'm happy with that decision. However, I want Zara to be really involved too since she's a very enthusiastic person in general and I know she'll enjoy it. Also, she's much more organised! Question is, I don't want either of them to feel slighted. Am I being too paranoid? Is there a specific way I should approach it, or act like it's not a big deal? Could I just ask them both to be 'bridesmaids' and skip the whole 'maid of honour' title? Sorry for all the questions! Thanks for your help.

9 replies

Latest activity by Kate, 20 August, 2026 at 11:20
  • J
    Beginner
    josephine ·
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    I'm having 2 bridesmaids, and no maid of honour. They're both good friends, and we all lived together at university. While I am probably closer to one than the other, I really don't want to cause any hurt or upset by favouring one over the other. Also, one of my closest friends does not want to be bridesmaid - I asked her, but knew she wouldn't want to be, and she is a witness instead. We are close enough, and know and understand each other well enough for us to be completely honest and not hurt by her decision.

    It's up to you - if it is important to you ask your oldest friend to be maid of honiur. I am sure the other bride maid will be fine. You can always just say that you have known Abi the longest which is why you have made your decision. Personally, I would say you can't choose between them and keep them both as bridesmaids,

    Good luck!

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  • Y
    Beginner April 2014
    YellowDuckie ·
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    I'm not having a MOH either just three bridesmaids. I was chief bridesmaid for two of my Bms and I couldn't choose one over the other, plus this way all three have to organise the hen do rather than lumping it on one person Smiley smile

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  • F
    Beginner August 2014
    fatbunneh ·
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    Hi there,

    Thanks to you both for your replies. I think having just 'bridesmaids' is a good idea. I'll tell them to work together and 'liaise' with the third UK-based bridesmaid! That way, they shouldn't be overwhelmed with responsibilities.

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  • H
    Abu Dhabi
    Helafaj ·
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    You're definitely not being too paranoid—these things can be tricky, but it's clear you care deeply about both friends and just want to avoid any unnecessary awkwardness. Since they’re both overseas and already making a huge effort to be there for your big day, it's completely fair to approach this with flexibility.

    If you feel that skipping the formal "maid of honour" title and asking them both to be bridesmaids would simplify things, that’s totally okay! Many brides today are moving away from traditional labels and focusing more on making everyone feel special and included. You could even give them both unique roles—maybe Zara helps you with the planning side of things (she sounds super organized!), while Abby stands by you during the ceremony as your right-hand woman.

    A gentle, honest conversation goes a long way. Tell Abby how meaningful your long-standing friendship is and how much it would mean to have her by your side. And let Zara know that her support and energy are a huge part of what’s making your wedding feel exciting and stress-free.

    By the way, all this planning reminds me of checking results back in the day—waiting nervously for updates like JAC results online, and just hoping for the best! 😊 You’ve got this, and your friends will feel honoured no matter what you decide. Wishing you a beautiful celebration!

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  • KHAN
    Curious March 2020 North Carolina
    KHAN ·
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    Qatar Visa Center (QVC) simplifies Qatar visa applications by offering biometric enrollment, medical screening, and contract signing before travel. Centers in Islamabad and Karachi operate weekdays. Efficient, transparent, and preparatory

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  • Heinrich
    Curious June 2026 East Central London
    Heinrich ·
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    It sounds like you have two special friendships that matter in different ways, so focusing on appreciation rather than titles can help avoid misunderstandings qatar id status check makes it easy to verify whether your QID is under review, approved, or ready for collection, similar to how clear communication helps everyone stay informed about important updates.

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  • Rodney
    Lincolnshire
    Rodney ·
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    Shehnaaz ·
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  • Kate
    East Central London
    Kate ·
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    Honestly the author makes a great point about leaning into each person's strengths rather than titles. Zara handling logistics and Abby holding the honour role sounds like a smart split. Planning anything big benefits from that kind of thinking, just like a great PPT Design Service assigns the right specialist to the right brief.

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