People are getting on my nerves!

I have kept loads back from my mum for that reason. She has an opinion on everything and has burst my bubble a few times so now she will just be suprised on the day as everything falls into place and I bet she will love it.

My bridesmaids have opinions on dresses. I considered white to match me, they didn't like it, one wants long the other wants shorter!! I am just going to pick a day and we will shop for dresses together but as I am paying I get final say.

Ahhh

So glad i came on these forums and I learnt I wasnt the only one, and I sure won't be the last.

I dont understand why people think they should shape your day. I find if people start poo pooing my ideas I stop asking them for their thoughts. People soon realised ( except my mum ) that whilst I don't mind constrictibe critisim it is our wedding and we will decide what we do.

I am pleased I am not the only one who finds people get seriously annoying.

My biggest arguments at the moment with my Mum seem to be over whether I should pay someone to do something , or do it myself.

I seriously stressed myself out with my engagement party I decided to do everything myself from the invitations to the decor and it drove me up the wall!!!

With my bridesmaids it just seems to be getting catty I think as I am paying for their dresses I'm just going to buy them and say " Here you go put them on and shush!"

I don't know why people think they have the stance to say " That's awful , that isn't what I would do" people have different tastes!

We tend to tell people once we have decided on things so that they can't have an input. They might criticise but then we just tell them that it's decided, paid for so tough. Luckily both my bridesmaids have been fab so far, but my mum and MIL2B are a different story. We're not telling them about the sweetie table or the garden games etc as they will just say they are rubbish ideas and they don't seem to get that we will be playing music we like and that is relevant to us, not necessarily to them!

Candy buffet is another argument I am having with my Mother

I have a friend who just got married and bought all the things for a Candy Buffet, said she will loan them to me for nothing! All I have to do is buy the sweeties. But my Mother keeps scrunching her nose up at the idea and saying " Well do you really NEED that?"

" No Mother I don't NEED it but I WANT it!" lol

Wow, this post really read my mind this morning! I showed a potential dress to my bridesmaids at the weekend. They said it looks cheap and "naff". Another told me she really only wants to wear a strapless BM dress. I have 7 of them to dress so it's going to be a bit tricky.

I have found I've got a lot of unsolicited opinions on every aspect. I feel like everyone is very critical of other people's weddings and choices.

At our wedding a lot of people commented what a great idea it was, as they could nibble during the day as and when they wanted - so I would suggest you definitely need to push for it We had very little to take home at the end of the day.

I would say 2 to 3 times I day I have a ding dong with my Mam about the wedding, had one before 7am today, which happens most days, as she works in the same building as me so we car share.

This mornings was about hair and make up, and how she has had a sleepless night about HER hair and make up and how I should hurry up and book someone!!!!! Excuse me, who’s day is it!?!?!

As for bridesmaids I have got two amazing friends who would do anything for me, but that is probably cause I have always been like that with them. I’m a great believe of treating people how you want to be treat.

Early this year I was put in a dress didn’t not suit my shape (which I pointed out before the bride even started to look at dresses) and made me look basically horrendous. Oh and also after ordering it on line the dress was 4 inches off fitting my bust, (I’m a 10/12, so not a weight issue) and it was left up to me to sort it….. I managed to find an amazing seamstress and got the dress zipped up. As CB I thought I was treat badly and made the decisions there and then not to ever treat my BM like that so we had a full day and basically together choose something that we all liked.

I have 6 bridesmaids so I know how you feel!

I've told mine they are not having anything strapless as it's just not my taste

I've picked the colour and I am leaving it up to them to decide what length they want but that is as far as it goes.

I keep thinking " At the end of the day It's my wedding so my choices!"

I would never put my bridesmaids in something too small or what didn't suit their frame but they need to understand that for the best part it's up to me.

I also have a few family members who think that because they are paying for something they have the right to decide what I pick! I have already told some people I don't want their money and I'll buy it myself lol

I'm quite lucky in a way. I have never been the girl who dreamed of a big white wedding, so I think my mum is just happy that my OH and I have decided to have a wedding at all. Mine is basically going to be a party with hopefully a few quirky bits (including the sweet table!) Most people seem to know that I will do what I want but I am happy if people want to suggest things, as long as they don't get offended if I don't use their ideas. My aunt however is a different story. I'm having her daughter as a bridesmaid as we get on great, and she thinks this means she can dictate everything from BM dresses to cake and invitations. Luckily we live quite far apart so I don't have to endure this often, and I am happy to tell her no but the wedding isn't until September and it's only been a month since we told everyone we were engaged! I dread to think what she'll be like a month before!

From someone who's been through it and come out the other side, sadly it doesn't really get any better... people always think you need to hear their advice and how they think you should do it because of course they know you better than you know yourself.

Unfortunately, of course, they're usually wrong.

There will be arguments when you have to be straight with people reminding them it's your day, and that their financial input doesn't give them any right to change your plans, but at the end of the day they will realise that actually you were right after all and you had a fantastic time.

I have taken the approach of just smiling nicely at people when they offer the opinion .. and saying something along the lines of "that would belovely if it was your wedding ..." has worked most of the time!!

I have also been guilty of using OH as a weapon against my mother e.g. "that would be lovely Mum but OH doesn't want it" or "sorry mum but OH is adamant that this is what we are having" - I did tell OH so he has played along!!

Not just you.

I have one BM who keeps suggest godawful crap for me to buy and seems to think I am made of money

another keeps telling me I'm doing the wedding for everyone else and not myself - eh no I am not! Oh and when I said I didnt want to wear white she told me I would look like a hooker then when I suggested a tea length dress she laughed at me.

mother in law wanted complete control - I refused now she isnt interested at all and isnt showing the slightest interest in any of it. she hasnt even met my parents yet and we've been together forever.

I would just like everyone to shut up and let me me and OH do what we want without the bitchy or unhelpful comments.

Hahaha I have taken to doing this also!

I am not one for big frilly fancyness and I am going for very simple elegance a few people have commented that my tiara isn't sparkley enough or my dress is a little plain but I am just going to have to work past paying too much attention to what others have to say, and then be a total nightmare when they get married! Hahaha

It's the only thing that is stressing me out with my wedding preparations! Other people!

Luckily my mother in law to be is very diplomatic as she doesn't want to come across as being pushy and sticking her oare in where it isn't wanted which I am pleased about

You sound like me!! Lol. We are getting married the same day too

LOL I think we might have been separated at birth!

I honestly thought when I started planning, my mum would be great and let me get on with it, as I never really saw her as someone who would push their opinions on me. But I was wrong. When I first decided to plan we were looking at venues in the UK, and she kept saying they were too expensive and we should go abroad. I am now going abroad and she says Italy is too expensive should I not consider cyprus as they will be cheaper. She wasn't overly keen on the dress I bought and thought I should find something cheaper as £1200 is way to much for a dress. She wants me to invite her cousins to the wedding who I have only ever met twice.

AS for my bridesmaid, I saw lovely dresses in the coast sale for £25 bargain, so I have bought them and just told me BM's this is what they're wearing. One BM is great says they're lovely, another one says she doesn't like the material, though she has only seen an online picture and will be trying it on for the first time next week, and my 3rd BM isn't even replying to my texts so have no idea what her thoughts of the dress are. My mum went into coast at the weekend and says they are not very Bridesmaidy and are completely different style from my dress and can't imagine that the will go together. I don't want to buy BM dresses in the same style as my wedding dress, I want to stand out as the bride and not look like my BM's!! is that so wrong. I personally tried on the BM dresses and think theyre lovely, though suck me in pants are definately needed!!!

This really peeved me off when wedding planning. If I asked for opinions thats a different matter but people who seemed to think that I wanted to hear their thoughts despite not asking really really annoyed me.

I know what I like and very rarely need people to 'validate' my ideas / thoughts for me.

So no you are not alone but try not to get in a tizzy about it - just smile and 'I'll think about it' and then forget all about it!

That is exactly it girls! People have different tastes and you aren't going to please everyone with your choices

I think as long as you like them to tell with everyone else! Lol

Us girls have enough on our plate without bowing to everyone elses demands!!

It is SO bad with one of my BM's I haven't even told her I have already ordered & received another one of the BM's dresses and it is stashed away in my cupboard haha!

When people give me their opinion I'm just going to go " Yup" and walk away,

i love these ideas and have even bought my centrepeices SWEETS lol my family will no doubt say something but my nan came with me to a wedding fayre and we both loved them so she bought them for me bless her, do what you want and ignore any catty opinions constructive ones are good and can rein you in a little but catty is not welcome

here is a pic of my centrepeices just cause i love them

they are being done in cadbury purple forest green and ivory to tie in with my day xx

Michelle those are fab!!!

I am going for Martini glasses with lights inside for my centrepieces just so I don't have to fork out on balloons too!

Everyone seems to be doing purple It's definitely the wedding colour of this year

My purple is a couple of shades darker the Cadbury but its lurvely

I love the pic of the cake in your display pic! x

Has anyone elses mother insisted on you having a fruit cake as it is expected? ?

thank you that is my actual cake but in ivory with butterflies entwined with the flowers, i love the martini glasses and tbh i wasnt having anything really spectacular was having wood logs with slices of trunk on top with candles as having a midsummer nights dream theme but when we saw them i thought the ones that were not eaten could be used in the evening as well so saving on the actual sweetie buffet table i was originally having. In between my centrepeices i am having trailing ivy and tea light so it looks like long garland on top of a purple table runner i do have mainly cadbury purple but my flower girl dresses have different shades in them so i can use different purples rather than one block of colour, i lost my mojo recently but am feeling back on form after reading some of the threads on here again today good luck with all of your planning xx

Luckily nobody has mentioned my cake so far!! I am hoping to have different cakes on every tier but one will be fruit or spice as I love it! Yum Yum!

I am pleased I gave you girls a chance to vent! We need it now and again, we get stuck thinking everyone's planning is going smoothly when we are pulling our hair out! Lol

Yes - we are having chocolate cake and my parents have told me all the oldies will expect fruit cake and perhaps I should have two so as not to disappoint people...

My mum also keeps telling me to stop reading blogs and magazines as it'll fill my head with ideas I don't need and I'll get "carried away" with the wedding! I just like being nosey and am not a child wanting everything I see!

Mine got so bad that I haven't spoken to my sister since my wedding nearly a year ago. We never really got on but had to make her bridesmaid under duress from my mum. Short version of the story is that she was so nasty, judgemental, critical and downright spitefull about everything that it all came to a head a week before the wedding and until the morning of the wedding I thought I was a bridesmaid and a pageboy (her son) down as she refused to come.

Not sure what advice I have really other than don't let it get that far! It's your day and your decisions.

Man... i effectively have the opposite problem. mum and bm aren't interested. i try and talk to them about it but they change the subject. quite upsetting that they can't work up any enthusiasm for us.

Ohhhh yes, I am getting that and havent even booked anything yet!!!! My dads comment on preffered venue "its a bloody stupid idea" My sisters opinion on night time buffets "A stupid waste of money" My mother in laws idea on virtually everything "Chosen the mose expensive option as always"

I smile and ignore for now, but I doubt we will get to WD without a fallout, and my money is on it being with MIL2B.....

This is what I am afraid of as it's my sister that is giving me the hardest time, she offered to put money towards things like church flowers, hers and her daughters / sons outfits and she seems to think that gives her the permission to make the decisions. I have already had a barny with her over what the flower girls should carry, and I don't want it to get any worse.

I got around most of that by going with a package that my venue offers and includes the night time buffet and wedding breakfast, the only comment I've had so far about my reception venue is " It's too far away"

( It's 7 miles away which I think it FINE )

I'm actually on my 2nd reception venue as the first one I hadn't realised it had a night club in the basement and I'm getting married on a bank holiday weekend! Bad idea!!