People with school age children getting married on a week day/term time

We get married on a Friday and our son will be 6 and in year 1, we have put in a leave request for him to have the day off which has been authorised. I think it does depend on the school/headmaster. Luckily our headmaster is ok with things, as long as you don't take the mickey he will authorise the leave.

It might be worth speaking to the school office and see how things are

I don't have children myself, but my nieces were both bridesmaids at my wedding. I wrote into their school and explained that we were getting married and that they were bridesmaids. It was authorised no problem.

I should imagine if he has not had any time off and thus his attendance is good they will allow you to have it. And let's face it, they will know if they say no you will keep him off anyway. For their records authorised absences are better anyway. You wont get a fine, you might get a warning, but not the fine.

Most schools understand such things (unless you have a realy strict school!) and can be accommodating. ?

My son is the same, Im sure they said under exceptional family circumstances the can take the day of (with the example of a loved one funeral) im sure weddings are the same as obviously a child would be present at his parents marriage (if booked before school started ie. before September you are usually allowed as well) but you should check the new laws are pretty strict (if you phone in sick they may require a note, not to mention you child will probably proudly talk about the day giving it away that you lied)

I'm a teacher and have seen absences for all sorts of things but I think a wedding (particularly if it is the child's parents') then that should be okay. I would give the school plenty of notice, write a formal letter and even explain that to keep up with his writing, he could write about the day like a diary entry and share it with the class when he's back. Also mention you will ask the teacher for any work she could give you for the time he is away. It's such a special occasion, I think it'll be okay.

When will he turn five? As far as I understand, he's not of compulsory school age until the term after they turn 5, so the school can't really do anything about it if you do take him out because he doesn't legally have to be there!

I've taken my daughter out of school for weddings before with no problems.

they are compulsory school age from the school year in which they turn 5 so if he is five before next September then yes he has to attend, that's why children dont just randomly start on the 5th birthday (my son is 4 and was 20 mins late on his 3rd day of school and we got the whole truancy lecture and how its a legally binding that they have to attend on time or they are marked as absent which is then sent of to a head office)

You can choose to keep your 4year old at home till they turn five. However once the child is put into the education system they are legally obliged to attend.

i'm friends with two families who chose not to let there children start school till they were 5 as they didn't feel they were ready for it.... Any way of subject!

my legal wedding us on a Friday and the real deal is on the Sunday. My nieces and nephews will miss Friday afternoon of school and then the Monday, we will ask permission though.

they however have be granted leave last year to attend a wedding do we know the school is understanding.

I work in a primary school and I was under the impression that no absences at all would be granted. I don't know if this is the case but thought it was in all schools. Problem is if you lie and say he's ill will you feel he can't come in and share his news about your wedding? Maybe just do as others have said ask anyway, then just accept an unauthorised absence.

I'm a primary school teacher and while schools are cracking down on absences for holidays etc, there shouldn't be a problem for a family occasion such as your own wedding! Just request time off and explain the circumstances. And appeal if they say no.

P.S. Also, go to the press if they refuse to give a 4 year old a day off for his mother's wedding!

My nephew is 8 and will be our page boy. My brother has decided to ring in sick for him that day as they don't think the school will allow him to have the day off.

I work in a primary school and the head doesn't authorise absences for any reason (it keeps the figures looking good for OFSTED) but I would still say to be honest; I think it's unlikely you'll get fined. Or ring up on Wednesday morning and say he was sick the previous night; they'll tell you to keep him off for 48 hours and there you go he's off for Thursday as well!

Hi,

I'm a teacher getting married on a school evening (wedding will end Sun night). I won't be sending my one in the next day. I will inform the school though. Some schools I have workedin have been really strict and barely authorise anything. I think you think about what's important to you and just be honest x

My misunderstanding on the age part then, as I read the schools admission bumpf, I may have misunderstood it (or their school does things a bit differently).

Anyway, I would be honest with the school, explain the situation and I doubt it will be authorised leave, but it's better to do that than ring in sick when you know that he will probably go and tell all of his friends, the teachers, the dinner ladies etc etc! I don't see how stopping authorising leave will make any difference to attendance tbh, all it will do is mean that more kids are taking unauthorised leave, but that's another point! I strongly doubt that you will be fined for taking him to attend your wedding, especially if his attendance is good and being as he is in Reception.

We're having a Thursday wedding, but have managed to slot it into half term to avoid this problem, especially as a lot of our friends have children.

Sorry, I can't add anything advice wise as I don't have kids but I'm shocked by how unflexible schools are with absences! I had no idea they fined you!

As kids we used to have 2 weeks off in the summer term to go on holiday! Never did me any harm!

I have the same problem, we get married october next year and i have a lad who will be in year 3 and my eldest lad in year 9, his school has always stated they do not allow leave of any kind. so we are unsure whether to just pull them both out sick for the day. My eldest will be giving me away and the youngest is page boy. We didnt book it for the half term week as we are going on honeymoon as a family including ohs two children who are also in secondary school, his son is his best man and his daughter is going to be my bridesmaid. They go to a school in a different area and live with their mum so he is going to have to write to the school xx

This! My parents took me out for 2 week holidays every year and I still passed all my exams etc. 1 day here or there really doesn't make much difference in the grand scheme of things.

The law changed this year so that since September Headteachers no longer have the authority to authorize leave except in the most exceptional circumstances.

Previously they were allowed to authorise up to 10 days annual leave for holiday where the family could not go except in school term time. This is no longer permitted. Whether or not your son's Headteacher considers your wedding to be exceptional circumstances is what will define whether or not the absence will be authorised. Do not lie: if you call him in sick and they find out that you lied then you will be referred to the LEA and fined. If you tell the truth up fron then one of three things will happen:

1) leave authorised

2) leave unauthorised. Take him out anyway. They do nothing

3) leave unauthorised. Take him out anyway. They refer to LEA. You will either be referred or not depending on his record during the year so far.

Good luck

With the changes to ofsted (they can turn up without warning now), many heads have cracked down on any absences.

also for things like budget day my head (another teacher here) wouldn't authorise any absences, because on budget day it's about bums on seats. it doesn't matter how many children a school has on their register, they will only be funded for the children recorded in on the day of funding allocation. a really cruel policy but somehow they manage to get away with it, so our head needs as many pupils in as possible. i sent my son in drugged up for muscular pain i'd normally have kept him off for, because of budget day. he spent the day sleeping in first aid, but legally he was at school and it counted haha

the best you can do is ask, and if they say no, try to find out why, to see if there is leave for appeal.

I would ask. I took my children out for 10 days, 5 years ago to go to Austrailia for a month. I worked in a school at the time (diff school to my children), my leave was granted as exceptional circumstances, but the headteacher at my children's school would not authorise and they were marked unauthorised for entire time. I was never contacted by LEA, they were 10 and 7 at the time.

I have worked in schools where parents weddings have been authorised no problem, be honest its the best way xx

Thanks everyone, I sent the headteacher a letter yesterday to give notice of his school absence. Fingers crossed they won't give me too much trouble!

I'm a school governor and a social worker ... the LEA will not fine you ir even be vaguely interested in your child's day off unless your child is a persistent non attendee. none of us want the fining system in place and our head and governing body are being pretty flexible on our interpretation of exceptional! it's mainly to stop term time holidays not the odd day. the school don't get the revenue from the fines so it's not in our interests to alienate parents. that being said I'm taking my two out for 2 days as our February holiday was £700 cheaper ... but my wedding is a Sunday in the summer hols as there are lots of guest's with kids so I didn't want them to have any hassle or anxieties.

Blimey- my stepkids are off school all the time for holidays, birthdays, days out and even their Mums wedding anniversary (!) Im gurssing nothing has been done about it. Theyare alwasy off sick as well.

To the OP though- honesty is the best policy I cant help but feel in pretty much all cases. Glad you chose to tell the truth.

We got a letter recently saying you are fined if your children are off for 16 or more days during the semester with out genuine reason (obviously hospital stays if your child is ill, or days off for funerals/death of immediate family such as parents, siblings and sometime grandparents etc... dont count)

my OH boss said he took his out for a holiday because a term time holiday + fine was still cheaper than a non-term time holiday

An update - I received a very speedy reply from the head accepting the absence as exceptional circumstances ? phew

I'm glad it's all sorted. That's one less thing to worry about!