Picking bridesmaids

So sorry you are stressed, it is such a hard decision, you want to get it right. My biggest piece of advice is not to pick someone because etiquette says you should, of for fear of upsetting another person. I did this and I regret it, I have spoken to one of my BMs once in the 6 months since we got married and it irks me she is in so many if our pictures!

If you are looking to mirror your OH grooms party, in that you have 3 ladies, you have your MOH locked in and struggling with the other 2. I think the oldest friend, for me, would be a no owing to how she makes you feel. it is a sad thing when you drift apart but it happens, and I feel you would only ask her out of a sense of duty, and I worry you would resent it when it came to the day and her actually stepping up to help with planning.

Regarding this other girl, again I personally would not have her, it doesn't seem like she has the right energy to support you and as you say, there will be drama and hassle, and you don't need that. The 3rd girl, again you are not that close so do you really want her as part of your day and sharing such special and intimate moments?

I will play devils advocate here and suggest you just have your MOH. You don't have to have lots of BM's or equal the groom's party. I would seriously think ahead to the day and visualize how you see the morning, are the other 2 being supportive or are they stressing you out? It is stressing you already, so by simply having one it makes it easier, if anyone gets angry about not being asked, to me, that just proves they are not respectful of your choice for your day. I can't tell you what the right thing is, only you can decide. if you don't go for just your MOH then maybe have the 2 girls from the group of 4, but I feel from your post, deep down, you don't want that.

You do have plenty of time, so you can wait to decide, see how your relationships work, if anyone steps up to ask how the planning is going, is interested and if they can help. Sorry if i have not been helpful, I really hope you can reach a decision and reduce your stress, at the end of the day you and your OH are all that is important X

I agree with Charlotte - just have your MOH.

In my view, if you have to dither over whether you 'should' ask someone to be your bridesmaid, then you shouldn't! And on a practical level, being a bridesmaid is unlikely to make your old friend closer to you and the last thing you want is unenthusiastic people or those who like causing drama hanging around on your wedding day.

There is no need to have equal numbers - my OH had a best man but I had no bridesmaids and no one thought anything of it.