Planning

Start off with your venue and registrar/officiant. You can't book anything else unless you know the venue and date, so you need to get those firmed up first.

My OH and I planned our wedding 50/50 but actually spent very little of our time together doing it. We would each research and shortlist something (e.g. venues, photographers, stationery) and email each other our top 5. With the stationery, the same design appeared on both our top 5s, so that was a job done! With the venues & photographer we shortlisted 3 or 4 from our joint lists to discuss further. Most of our planning was done via email or social media, sharing things we'd come across and asking the other for comment - in this way, we fitted in a lot of planning into the odd spare minute here & there, and it meant that most of our time together could be wedding-planning-free.

If we needed to make any trips to plan the wedding (e.g. viewing venues, buying wedding rings, meeting photographers) we tried to fit them in to a day out, so we'd look at a couple of venues close together on our way out for a day. We planned pretty much everything together apart from our clothing and the flowers (he told me which kilt he was wearing so I made sure my bouquet and his buttonhole went with it)

It is so much fun planning together! I would say the first thing you need to do is work out your budget, be realistic and budget each element, as some things are a lot more than you would think but at least you can then see how much you need to save and work a date that allows you time to save up. Also, think about things you really want and things that are not so important. for us the photographer was a must have and we spent quite a bit on this as it is the memories of the day, but we felt a videographer was not necessary, we are also not having wedding cars as they are very expensive and for us was not worth it, so there are areas were you can cut the cost. Also, work out if you are paying for bridal party outfits, hair/make up etc as this can soon add up if you have a few BM's and ushers etc.

Once you have your budget you can research venues and go and look at them. With venues think about if you want an all in one package, often these look good, but sometimes they include things you don't want, but are far easier to manage than managing individual suppliers so if you can afford it then it is better to pay a bit more and not have the stress of managing suppliers individually. Our venue offered an all in package, but as we have a few children and non drinkers it was cheaper to build our own package with component pricing as it meant we only paid £25 for the children as opposed to the all in cost of £100 per head, and cut the alcohol cost for the non drinkers, we save about £1500 doing it this way. Hotels are also often cheaper as the space is there and is not their revenue stream, where as Wedding Venues charge a high hire fee as it is their only source of revenue.

If you can, attend some wedding fayres together to get costs and ideas, but remember there will be so many extras suppliers there that you don't need, but is a good way of seeing what is out there and the price before you firm up what you want.

don't feel too overwhelmed, just take your time to work out what you want and research is key. Enjoy the planning phase and is so lovely to do it together

Before we booked the venue I researched a few venues online as I know a lot of the local hotels etc having lived in this area for 15 years (my fiancé moved about 40 miles to this area 4 years ago to live with me). I shortlisted a few and we had virtual viewings with my parents as they are paying! I emailed them and asked for wedding brochures and more info and some were able to send videos of the venue as it was still during Covid restrictions.

This worked well for us as they live 250 miles away so I could share videos and photos easily. Once we decided the venue we were able to visit in person when my parents came to visit me as its only 20 mins drive away.

For the other things like photographer, cars and DJ I did the research as I have a desk job and my fiancé drives for a living so I was able to give him shortlists by email or whatsapp and we went from there. We interviewed the three shortlisted photographers virtually as there were still some restrictions and that worked well too.

I would say we have done the big decisions together even if they are not necessarily made when we are in the same room! It is the way of modern life! My fiancé leaves the house at 7 and gets home at 5.45 so I don't want to be going on about wedding decisions as soon as he gets in the door on an evening. I pick my times carefully!

I have enjoyed the planning but then I am an organiser by nature. Good luck!