Please HELP!! How do you have 3 people giving you away?????

In my opinion, if you have a father, who has been a good father all your life he deserves to give you away.

I appreciate you have a good step-father (I do too) but he will understand this is your real father's job.

Your grandad, should never have expected to give give you away, unless you have prematurely told him before makiing your final decision.

We have asked my step-dad and step-mum to be our witnesses. They were very happy to be asked. WHy not ask you step-dad and grandad to be your witnesses instead.

My grandad hasnt expected to give me away at all, he is extremely laid back and very respectful of my decisions, my dad hasnt been a great dad there have been alot of issues and we havent always seen eye to eye shall we say. There are alot of things he has done that I dont agree with hence why we have never been very close, but my dad has always expected to take that glory of giving me away whereas I think that my grandad deserves that honour more so as he has had a lot to do with my upbringing and took me and my sister and mum in when we had no where to go.

I think my decision of having all 3 is better but its just how to do it im struggling with x x

If you want them all to have a part of walking you down the aisle then maybe ...

Grandad walks you into ceremony.. hands you over to..

Dad at top of the aisle...... who hands you over to ...

Step dad half way down the aisle....... who then

Obviously hands you over to your H2B at the alter..

Have to say its not something I would do but then I'm not in your position but it would represent the fact that they have all been part of your life.

Also. it would depend on the length of the aisle?

Good Luck with your decision

L x

Ok how about... Grandad, links arms with dad, who links arms with you with your step-dad on the other side.

All four walk from then entrance to the start of the pews/seating. Then you kiss all three and walk the remainder of the 'aisle' alone.

Forgot to mention they dont all really get along either hahahahaha o it just gets better doesnt it! my grandad and step dad doesnt like my dad and vise versa due to why my mum and dad split in the first place.

Plus the aisle isnt big enough for all of us to walk down x

That's what I mean, let them walk you into the ceremony until the aisle begins at the back of the church then you walk the rest yourself. That keeps everyone equal.

They may not get on but if they all wish to have a part in giving you away then I'm afraid they are just going to have to grow up, put their differences aside and remember it is YOUR day.

I think, bearing in mind that this is a personal and big decision on your part, whatever anyone on here suggests wont really make a difference.

It's something you have to decide for yourself. Ultimately, you're probably going to upset someone.. it's down to you to decide who you're willing to upset the most.

(Sorry if that sounds horrible, it's not meant to be.. just being realistic!)

Yeh i no what you mean and thats why initially i said my grandad was giving me away because thats what I wanted but I dont like seeing people upset and it being because of something ive done! its such a horrible position to be in and its got to a point where im starting to not care who does it anymore! and I shouldnt feel like that about my wedding!

I kept saying to my dad its not my fault Im in this situation I cant help having people that I care about and that care about me! I see it as im very lucky to have these 3 people in my life whereas my dad sees it as it doesnt matter he is my dad!! sooooo frustrating!!

No it doesnt sound horrible, i think i was just looking to see if anyone had been in this situation or knew of similar situation as there may have been different ways I could do things that I hadnt thought about.

I just want to get it sorted and out of my head as its really bothering me and causing alot of upset x

I think this may be difficult - I can see 2 one each side of you walking down.

When I didnt think my dad could walk me down the isle (leg problems) I thought he could lift my viel and we can have a hug at the top - maybe you can do this with one of them so they are included.

Then there is the who gives this girl bit - soemone else could do that

Personally I think its to many for this job which is essentially walking you down the isle - are there other ways you can include them witnesses? Speechs? But then I am not big on the 'giving away' concept

I would say that you walk in with your dad on one side and your step dad on the other and do the first bit of the aisle then your grandad waits for you (about half the way down), your dads go off to the sides and your grandad walks you the rest of the way? x

Hi,

I'm not sure I can offer much advice, but I can sympathise. I have a similar situation, except its only my dad in contention, but I broke off contact with him for about 8 years. Shortly before I got engaged we got back in touch and he has ben trying quite hard to make things work this time. And I am trying hard to let it be a new start. At the outset I decided I would do the aisle on my own. But he has asked a couple fo times if I would reconsider and said how much it would mean to him. Things are better now than they were, and I don't want to go over all the old ground as reasons for him not to do it. Myproblem is I feel totally neutral about it - I have no strong gut feeling about either my own, or with my dad. Means I don't have what I feel is a good reason to say no, but equally don't feel any desire to say yes!

I think you should do what your heart says. You only get to do this once, so if your heart says you want someone who isn't your dad to do it, then you should do this, and try and involve your dad in other ways. Biology doesn't buy the right to do this sort of thing. I kind of feel that in the past my dad stopped being a parent, when I still needed him to be (I was a grown up but still needed support IYSWIM) and he wasn't there, despite me asking him to be. So if you feel that your dads actions in the past removed his right to get all the prim,e dad roles, you shoul;d tell him this (not in a vindictive way). But don't let him, guilt trip you into it. Could the venue arrnage the seats so that there is more space at the front? so that you could collect them on the way down, so you end up with all 3, rather than each having a stint?

If it is all 3 you want, then also go with that and don't let eany of them pressurise you into giving them the prime role! Speak to you venue, they may be able to suggest something or a different way of laying itout that makes it more feasible.

Are there side aisles? maybe you could come in together to the seats, thne they go down the sides, and meet you at the bottom again?

No idea, just throwing things out there.

Good luckl, I know how hard a decision it is. I must say that actually thinmking it through as I write here has helped me a little - so thank you!

OK ....another idea, ........tell them all you don't wish to hurt any of them so you have decided to walk down the aisle on your own but you can still have one do a reading, one do the signing of the register and the other do the speech . Just give each one the job that fits their personality. I think this is what I'd do in your situation that way they all get a job and you don't have to feel bad about picking one over the other.

Regards

L x

I obviously don't know the whole situation, but from what I've read I personally would have your dad giving you away, and your step-dad and grandad as witnesses.

I know you said you want one of the 3 of them but why don't you just have your mum walk you down, she's the one who has looked after you the most. Mums don't normally get a chance to do anything in a wedding. my mum n dad are still together so i don't know what its lie to have a step dad but i know if my dad went around id def have my mum do the job. x