Please help - Need advice! :(

Hi,

My fiance and I booked Fasque House, Fettercairn for next Summer. We have put down a deposit of £3,300 and then a deposit on catering of £600. We now really don't want this venue. It's gorgeous but is just too expensive and I think we'll struggle to fit all our guests in. We want to look for an altenative venue but would lose out on the £3,900 (£3,300 if we were still needing the catering for elsewhere). Also, we have a couple of guests that have booked accommodation nearby already (even if we haven't sent invites out yet...guess we have to invite them now!). The venue will cost £11,000 overall and catering will be almost £8,000. That's without starting on anything else so even if we cut back elsewhere, it's still not enough! We've realised now that this money should be getting spent in other aspects of our lives (or even the honeymoon which we'll enjoy rather than paying for everyone else!). It's a non refundable deposit so doubt VERY much they would be sympathetic enough to refund it. We just can't enjoy the planning because it's always in our heads that we might not have room for everyone and we're spending too much. We have family who have booked flights from the States for our wedding so you can see the problem with moving the date to anothe venue (although I'm sure we'd manage somewhere if we did marquee or something). The question is - do we ditch Fasque and lose the deposit and book somewhere we know we will look forward to or just go and spend a LOT more (appox £25,000-28,000) because we don't want to lost £3,000-£4,000.

Please leave your honest opinions because I really need some guidance

Thanks so much xx