Poem about marrige which is funny and not too fluffy?

I read this one at my nan's wedding:

Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking
Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving
Caring and Sharing and screaming and swearing
About being together whatever the weather
About being driven to the end of your tether
About Sweetness and kindness
And wisdom and blindness
It's about being strong when you're feeling quite weak
It's about saying nothing when you're dying to speak
It's about being wrong when you know you are right
It's about giving in, before there's a fight
It's about you two living as cheaply as one
(you can give us a call if you know how that's done!)
Never heeding advice that was always well meant
Never counting the cost until it's all spent
And for you two today it's about to begin
And for all that the two of you had to put in
Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness
Too late you'll discover that marriage is madness

Don't know if it's any use but I love "Yes I'll Marry You My Dear" by Pam Ayres

YES, I’LL MARRY YOU, MY DEAR

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, and here’s reason why

So I can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry

And if we hear a knocking and it’s creepy and it’s late

I’ll hand you the torch you see and you investigate.

Yes, I’ll marry you my dear, you may not apprehend it

But when the tumble-drier goes it’s you that has to mend it

You have to face the neighbour, should our labrador attack him

And if a drunkard fondles me, it’s you that has to whack him.

Yes I’ll marry you my dear, you’re virile and you’re lean

My house is like a pigsty, you can help to keep it clean

That little sexy dinner which you served by candlelight

As I just do chipolatas, you can cook it every night!

It’s you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track

And when I’ve got the PMT it’s you who gets the flak

I do see great advantages, but none of them for you

And so before you see the light, I do I do I do.

He never leaves the seat up …

He never leaves the seat up

Or wet towels upon the floor

The toothpaste has the lid on

And he always shuts the door!

She’s very clean and tidy

Though she may sometimes delude

Leave your things out at your peril

In a second they’ll have moved!

He’s a very active person

As are all his next of kin

Where as she likes lazy days

He’ll still drag her to the gym!

He romances her and dines her

Home cooked dinners and the like

He even knows her favourite food

And spoils her day and night!

She’s thoughtful when he looks at her

A smile upon his face

Will he look that good in 50 years

When his dentures aren’t in place?!

He says he loves her figure

And her mental prowess too

But when gravity takes her over

Will she charm with her IQ?

She says she loves his kindness

And his patience is a must

And of course she thinks he’s handsome

Which in her eyes is a plus!

They’re both not wholly perfect

But who are we to judge

He can be pig headed

Where as she won’t even budget!

All that said and done

They love the time they spent together

And I hope as I’m sure you do

That this fine day will last forever.

He’ll be more than just her husband

He’ll also be her friend

And she’ll be more than just his wife

She’s be his soul mate ‘till the end.

@ Claire - my favours are scrolls with poems inside and flowers around them, like this.

@ Starstruck - I like it - perhaps something we need on a little wooden plaque for our bathroom wall

@ Noodle - Love that poem, did your nan choose it? I think I might be able to pinch some of those lines.

@ Sammy Jay & Sky bright - I love that poem, going to handwrite it inside OHs wedding card though so want to save that one from him.

My BM has just suggested I sit down and write something - I am soo uncreative but so far have:

J and Kayleigh xxxx

would like to say,

Thank you for sharing our

Piss up Wedding day,

Today Kayleigh promised to

forever do his ironing,

While J promised to always

listen to her whining.

I have a long way to go I feel........... ? But perhaps with a little bit of help from Noodles poem.. It could be a goer..

We're having this on our guestbook/post box table:

Today we begin the rest of our life
Together forever as husband and wife.
Our dreams came true, with love and more—
Adventures to have and the world to explore.

We’ll share our joys, we’ll share our sorrows;
We can already see many bright tomorrows.
We’ll share our friends and family, too,
And you are part of that special crew.

Thank you for celebrating our wedding day.
As we share our vows, we just want to say:
These wedding memories will become a treasure,
And seeing you here is part of the pleasure.

Yep my Nan chose it, it went down really well actually!

If you don't mind me asking where did you get the scrolls and flowers from they are so sweet and different!

Thanks!

They were an Ebay bargain - but I can't remember the sellers name, which is annoying as I need more! Grr. Cost me £20 for 100. Lots more available but not without the cute little cut out heart we have.

The thing is I have now realised how easy they are to make and so am going to attempt the make the remaining 35 that I need myself.

I only need printer paper and printer (supplied by work, ahem) and the roses on florist wire, got 50 of them for £5, not this seller, but this kind of thing. I've just wrapped the wire round them, and all ready to be printed:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/10-VERY-SMALL-RED-PAPER-ROSES-IDEAL-VALENTINE-DAY-/370471822642?pt=UK_Crafts_FloralSupplies_SM&hash=item5641d76532

with something like this to take a small heart:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Woodware-Mini-Lever-Style-Craft-Punch-HEART-/300366908659?pt=UK_Crafts_Cardmaking_Scrapbooking_DieCutting_Punches_EH&hash=item45ef434cf3