Polite invitations advising guests to not do a few things

Im not sure how to word it sorry but I hope you feel better.... I had horrendous ones as a child which where light sensitive, I couldn't even have the stand by light on the tv on it had to be pitch black (I was 8 year old) they lasted for a year then just stopped as bizarrely as they started, hopefully your will vanish before the big day

Aw thanks! I'm hoping to have them almost under control by July 2015 and my neurologist is researching a botox surgeon guy for me too...thought a little FAQ card in the invitation might be a bit better?

Sorry to hear about your condition. I suffer from allergies and migraines but nothing like yours - power to you and how you manage it!

To be honest, it seems like the perfume thing is the most important issue for guests to know as it could really effect you. Therefore I wouldn't mention the not-wearing-black thing, as I think it could be bombarding your guests with too much. I do understand why you don't want them to wear black but I think the perfume thing is more of an issue, so I would concentrate on that.

I would just put a little "polite notice" at the bottom of any info sheet that you might send with the invites, simply stating "please kindly refrain from wearing any strong perfume as the bride suffers from extreme allergies and she would like to hug you!" Or something along those lines. Make it clear that you could have an extreme reaction but "sweeten" it a little. You could also mention that people can contact you if there are any queries regarding this.

That's such a lovely way of putting it - thank you!

What a shame about your triggers. It must make a fair few situations a bit of a nightmare.

When I was in my late teens/early twenties I suffered from migraines for a whole (I think I've grown out of them now thankfully) so I really do feel for you.

I think Hundred Monkeys put it really well and a little info card would be a good idea.

When you say no black, I can see that being difficult for some men who might only have a black suit. Re. the perfume, I can't see that being an issue for people when it's health related.

When I first read about the perfume I did think that sounds a bit cheeky! But as soon as you explained then it became completely understandable and I don't think it's cheeky at all - everyone will want you to enjoy your day and it wouldn't be half as much fun with a migraine. I think Hundred Monkeys worded it well and I'd happily tone down the perfume if I read that.

Asking for somthing relating to your health, no problem at all!

Telling me what clothes I can or cant wear wear.... big no-no in my opinion and will counteract the seriousness of the first request not to wear perfume and turn your invites into a potential bridezilla like list of demands.

Let people wear what that want and just add a note about the perfume.

Hundred monkeys is bang on the money here!

And I'm sorry to hear about your condition, but I think your right to best inform your guests of it :-)

I wouldn't bother requesting people don't wear black. Most people won't anyway, because it's a wedding! There may be men in black/dark suits but they'll have lighter shirts and ties so it shouldn't look too dull. But if you start making requests, people will dig their heels in. You really won't notice on the day if one or two people are wearing something darker than you'd like.

I think the perfume request is much more reasonable.

Perfume request perfectly acceptable. I'd assume most of your guests would know you well enough to know of your migraines anyway so just a little mention is fine. However, the black thing. You cant demand what people wear. Men have black suits, there's alot of lovely floral dresses with black background, how specific are you? Not all ypur guests will want/afford to buy a new outfit just for your wedding. You won't care on the day. Even guests that do where black don't make it look funeral esq so dont bother with that.

I don't have an issue with dress codes at weddings but agree with others in your particular case I would stick with the perfume request.

It does sound a bit of a contradiction requesting something to help with your migraines and than requesting guests to not wear black. I would assume that bright lights/colours are not a good thing for someone that suffers with migraines....

So sorry to hear that you suffer with migraines. I have to admit when I first read your post I thought you were taking the p*ss! But when I read the rest of your post you make it clear and very understandable why you can't be near people with strong perfume, so I would just add the note using a similar explanation that you have done here.

with the request not to wear black though, I would personally leave that out! It makes you sound like a bit of a bridezilla and people might not take your note about the perfume as seriously if it seems like you're being demanding about other things. I really don't see the problem with men wearing black suits! Better than white suits which are utterly vile.

We had a piece of card in our invitations with "the details" - it had directions, hotel information, taxi numbers and a few questions which covered the no children thing, letting them know to eat a big breakfast as dinner wouldn't be until 4.30pm (wedding was 12.30pm), etc. I would include what Hundred Monkeys said into something like this.

I wouldn't mention the no black thing myself. I wouldn't want to dictate to my guests what to wear to that extreme - we just put under dress code: posh frocks and dancing shoes. This implied that we would like it if they dressed up.

I agree that people will (hopefully) be respectful of you wishes in regard to your illness - but I don't agree with any other dress code restrictions or the whole 'dress posh' thing. It's a wedding - how else would people dress?! Although I do know there are exceptions to this and some folk would turn up in jeans etc- but if they are that sort of person then they'd not be taking any notice of dress code requests anyway.

Right when I first read your post I thought 'what a flaming cheek' then u carried on and understood your reasoning behind perfume and aftershaves which is perfectly understandable and acceptable! I also believe that the way another poster worse the request is spot on'

however the black thing... I still think that is cheeky! I personally would never wear black to a wedding but if someone on invite requested I didn't... I'd be tempted to do just that! rather than saying no black! You could say something like dress code: bright and cheerful! Let people work it out for themselves without telling them what to do!

again if I received the invite with both request I personally wouldn't take the first request seriously and would just think you're being a bit bridezilla! Having a no black request with almost certainly take away from the most serious request you have!

I would ask no perfume, and have a few guests authorised to reprimand any heavily scented guests, giving them baby wipes to sort out it!

I get motion sickness on trains and the smell of strong perfume or aftershave makes me feel worse, to the point I spend most train journeys in the door area the ventilation is normally better. So if I was having my reception on a train then no strong scents would be allowed.

No special perfume for me on my big day, wearing it makes me feel ill. Your post has made me realise I am going to have to ban perfume and sprays from my getting ready room, and check how scented the hair dressers hair products are! You clearly have much more sever reaction than I do but I don't want to feel ill on my big day if I don't have to - the venues also going to be asked to remove and plug in air fresheners because in the past they have made me feel ill, my ill is feeling a bit sick and a headache which can become a migraine if I don't change the situation. So you have my sympathy, it's so hard explaining it to people who have never experienced such a reaction.

HAHHA I must sound like a right ***! These two things are my only nemeses - I don't care about much else, it's not a traditional formal do in the slightest. The perfume thing - thanks everyone - and baby wipes for emergencies are a fab idea! I'm also requesting people to be aware of their camera flash at me, and that red-eye reduction with a million flashes at once.

The dress thing - I wouldn't wear black to a wedding (guys usually exempt from this cos of suits) but many weddings I've been to have had at least one black dresser. It's just a bit funereal to me, and rude - maybe we suggest bright clothes and dancing shoes like someone suggested - thanks again!

Bloody migraines, bane of my life they are!

I suffer from migraines and the thought of having one the day scares me . I can't imagine what it must be like living with it to.that extent . I would leave out the no black rule and focus on the perfume . This way people won't feel so demanded by x

I have had reactions to camera flashes in the past, normally in badly lit rooms with the camera a few feet away, eg the other side of a restaurant table. I will be giving warnings to any guest that 'flashes' me in the dark, that sound so wrong ?, I don't think anyone would be dumb enough to do it, the normal culprit shouldn't be carrying a camera on the day if they are its going 'missing'.

I will have at least 6 amateur photographers at my wedding but they are all the take pictures from a distance, with a zoom type - again that sounds so wrong! What I mean is they hang back and don't shove cameras in peoples faces.

I wouldn't worry about the black, if its a woman that may do it then maybe have some colourful pashminas on hand and get someone to wrap them up in it saying its a bit nippy isn't it ?

I have a memory that a cousin turned up to my brothers wedding in a white suit with a read shirt, I am having to resist the urge to ring his mother and request he doesn't wear the same outfit, for an English Country House wedding it will just look wrong, but to be honest I am maybe going to see him for a few minutes the whole day so I need to leave it be.

Prrrffttt wedding planning would be so much easier without the guests ?

I hope you have a fab day.

Agree withe everyone who has said just be open about the alergies, and you could even make the clothing reference quite light hearted without specifying no black clothes. Something like "although bright lights can unfortunately trigger the bride's migraines, please rest assured that colourful frocks will have no such effect and will be possitively encouraged".

Perfect!!!

Len great idea x