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CornishBride89
Beginner October 2015

Proposals - Expectations vs Reality

CornishBride89, 9 September, 2015 at 09:40 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 24

Not massively off topic, but was how your OH proposed how you imagined it to be?

From watching all the movies, I had always thought of the down on one knee after a meal in a restaurant sort of thing. Once I had met my OH, I couldn't really see him doing it in public, so I thought maybe he would at home or on a local walk somewhere.

The reality was so much better than my expectation. It was on his birthday in France, on a beautifully sunny April afternoon on the beach, after a picnic. He said me saying yes was his best birthday present. Never in a million years would I have imagined that.

I know some people though who have been desperate for a big declaration of love and their OH has asked them on the sofa after a good curry.

So I'm curious, did your expectation match reality?

24 replies

Latest activity by hollyhollytree, 11 September, 2015 at 21:56
  • InkedDoll
    VIP January 2015
    InkedDoll ·
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    I don't think I really had any expectations, except I thought he was gonna wait til we were living together. But it was in my living room, with Match of the Day on the tv. It was perfect.

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  • daisymoo86
    Beginner July 2016
    daisymoo86 ·
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    I had always said that I didn't want a public proposal.

    We got engaged on Christmas Eve (which is his birthday), we had a takeaway and were curled up on the sofa together watching Christmassy TV.

    So for me it was perfectSmiley smile

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  • MrsStanleyToBe
    Beginner January 2019
    MrsStanleyToBe ·
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    We got engaged in Rome, but it wasn't as romantic as it sounds. He was so nervous that he wanted to get it over with so that we could enjoy the rest of the weekend, so he asked me in a restaurant that we popped into to have a snack at 4pm, we hadn't got changed out of our travelling clothes and there was no one in the restaurant. But he asked me which is the main thing and he even got a bit teary which I'd never have expected.

    We then spent the rest of the night trying to find jewellers in Rome to get a ring ... who'd have thought it would be so hard to get an engagement ring in the romantic city of Rome Smiley smile in the end we waited until we got home and got the ring from good ole Ernest Jones Smiley smile x

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  • P
    Beginner April 2016
    Pooba ·
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    We met at university studying meteorology, always dreamt of going storm chasing and seeing a tornado. Two failed attempts the last two years (not our fault - no severe weather!), but this year we saw a couple. First one was in miserable weather - it was raining, dark and crowded so he didn't want to do it there. Saw another a few days later, drenched in sunshine, in the middle of a field in Colorado with our best friend (another meteorologist). It was the perfect tornado, OH got down on one knee straight after it faded away.

    I was so shocked and on a high from the tornado - I cried proper ugly girl tears Smiley smile

    Expectations - he'd spent the last 8 years saying he didn't want to get married, so I didn't expect anything.

    Reality - fudging amazing.

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  • CornishBride89
    Beginner October 2015
    CornishBride89 ·
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    Awww all these beautiful proposals! Really making me smile on a dragging Wednesday morning! :-) Smiley heart

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  • 2BMrsC
    Beginner May 2017
    2BMrsC ·
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    Mine was perfect, simply because the man of my dreams asked me to marry him... but....!

    It didn't go *quite* as he'd planned it! He intended to get down on one knee either at the very spot we first met or at the top of the hill we walked up on our first date- only this time with all our dogs with us.... and my mum lurking in the background taking photos of 'the moment' to use on our wedding invites.

    I'm sure he had visions (given that he had shorts on!) of glorious sunshine (it WAS the end of July!) and it being terribly 'movies' and romantic... the reality was that he just couldn't wait for a nice day, the ring was burning a hole in his pocket and he was very nervous...

    So he chose a day that I'd worked the night shift before, and woke up with a migraine in a foul mood... it was P**sing rain, and his suggestion of 'taking the dogs over the hill' was met with derision and disbelief from me.. My mum (who obviously was in on it!) turned up and tried to persuade me with 'oh, come on, where is your sense of adventure'... and we very nearly had an almighty row about my sense of adventure having got up and gone... in the end I agreed to go out for lunch instead. I couldn't for the life of me work out why we went 'the scenic route' to get to where we planned to go for lunch...

    He ended up proposing in the rural country car park we first met in (yes, really!), half bending one leg as if he was thinking about getting on one knee, in the pouring rain after my Mum had feigned the need to 'be sick' and run off into the woods.... I was so worried about my Mum it took me a minute to realise he had got out of the car, come round to the passenger side and was stood in the absolute hammering rain trying to propose!

    Bless him, he DID try.... and the fish and chips we had for lunch were amazing!

    Expectation: I don't think I really had one- I never had any intention of getting married to anyone, ever!

    Reality: Perfect because he is perfect... and something we will laugh about for years to come!

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  • K
    Beginner January 2016
    kerrie_jay ·
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    After being together for just 2 months we made a last minute decision on a Thursday to go and see my brother, sister in law and 2 nephews in Bristol one Sunday as my mum and her husband would be down there too. We were going to go to Bath on the Saturday, stay the night there then go to Bristol in the morning. Unbeknownst to me my H2B had bought my ER the day before we decided we would go but he had not decided exactly when he was going to ask me to marry him. He then spent the next two days desperately trying to get hold of my Mum and her husband, my Dad, and my brother to ask their permission.

    When we were in Bath on the Saturday I kept finding him on the phone and his excuse was it was to do with work (he's a farmer) when actually he was still trying to get hold of my Dad. So Saturday night comes round and he says he spoke to the hotel concierge when we got there and they had booked us a table in a really nice Italian restaurant round the corner. Now this restaurant was amazing! I still had no clue what was going on. Just before dessert my H2B said he was going to the loo. When he came back I decided I needed to go too and he kept saying there's a queue wait a bit but I was adamant that I had to go now. When I got back I sat there for a minute thinking I know this song... It sounds just like one of mine (I'm a singer/songwriter)... Hang on a minute... This is my song! I then got rather embarrassed and nicely annoyed with my H2B for playing my music in a public place without asking me. The music had been turned up and the lights had been turned down and I still didn't have a clue. He kept trying to interrupt me but I was so embarrassed I didn't notice until he just pulled out my ER and said darling... will you marry me? There was no room to get down on one knee. I flew back in my chair and burst into tears with my hands over my face and the whole restaurant started clapping. Eventually he said, darling... please say something, to which i just nodded. He then stood up and gave me a kiss and the whole restaurant cheered really loudly!

    Turns out when he went to the loo my H2B gave his phone to the manager and asked him to play my song but when I went to the loo straight after he came back the manager had to run back upstairs to stop the song! Trust me to ruin it!

    We were one of the last to leave and we had a few tables when they left say congratulations and that we had them in tears.

    It was the most amazing evening of my life which I am only expecting to be surpassed by my wedding day and having children. It was completely unexpected, we had discussed our future together but I didn't ever expect he would ask me until at least another year down the line.

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  • K
    Beginner January 2016
    kerrie_jay ·
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    Forgot to add, that song is going to be our first dance Smiley smile

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  • Jayne E
    VIP
    Jayne E ·
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    Poona I'm soooo jealous! Storm chasing tornados and a proposal.

    my OH can be quite emotional and sloppy sometimes so I expected a good proposal but no. We were both married before and had never sorted out divorces and we knew we would marry so got on with that. Once we got the final paperwork he just said ok I better get you a ring now!

    Then we never got round to the wedding. Last year (during cancer treatment) he said after this part would you like to .... I'm thinking ooooo go to Paris, Rome???? ..... Get married. Erm, let me think, no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes, swollen red face from steroids. Feel like death warmed up, no strength. NOOOOOO I bl00dy wouldn't! Wasn't quite the answer he expected for some reason. So in March this year I proposed to him with a long speech about him being my rock and supporting me and lots of tears on both sides. Roll on 6 January.

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  • Little Pixie
    Beginner September 2011
    Little Pixie ·
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    I was never one of those girls who dreamed about my proposal or wedding. Probably why I proposed to him! It meant I was in control.

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  • bliss_balloons
    bliss_balloons ·
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    I know I would have been upset if it was just in our living room or similar and we both think Christmas proposals are tacky. It's a once in a life time thing, so I think there should be thought and effort put into it which oh definitely did!

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    Mine made me so happy! I'd always said I didn't want a public proposal. He took me to the new forest the day before my birthday saying it was a birthday trip. We went out for an amazing meal and a drink and then went back to the guest house. I went to brush my teeth before bed and when I came out there were rose petals scattered up to the bed, and the ring box was on the pillow. He let me pick it up, then took it off me, got down on one knee and asked me. He really isn't romantic so it was adorable! Apparently he'd been planning to ask me outdoors but it was way too cold! Bless him. ❤️

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  • 2BMrsC
    Beginner May 2017
    2BMrsC ·
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    Aww, that's lovely MrsShep ?

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  • MadamRed
    Beginner April 2017
    MadamRed ·
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    I must admit when I hear about other girls' romantic proposals, I'm disappointed that OH asked me when we were sat in bed watching Netflix. To be honest, though, I don't know how I'd have liked him to propose. Romantic, but not cliche - no idea how he would achieve that.

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  • L
    Beginner June 2017
    Lou37 ·
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    We talked about marriage within a few weeks of meeting but I never had any real expectations tbh I was happy and fine as we were
    So one sunday we had a BBQ with all the family the weather was miserable so everyone was inside except him outside cooking, everyone kept moaning at him that it was taking too long and he was in a right grump
    I went out to give him some food while other was cooking and he was proper grumpy even my mum kept coming to check on him
    Anyway I ended up sitting in the cold watching this grumpy man cook.....
    I went to bed about 1 he followed up ten minutes woke me up ( I was very tired) and asked me to marry him I replied I've already told you I will, he said no this is for real look I'm on one knee :-)
    He said later that me and mum being nice to him made him realise how lucky he was and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me
    No romantic at all
    No ring
    I can't even tell you wjat he was wearing!!!
    But it was perfect for me in every way
    I still don't have a ring 4 months later but that's my own choice and I have my reasonx

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  • F
    Beginner August 2016
    FutureMrsMarshall ·
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    My fiance proposed on a walk in the forest behind our house, on a beautiful autumn day. Well, I say beautiful, and it was, but the weather did nearly ruin it... We'd gone to a concert an hour's drive away from where we live, and I had suggested we go for a walk in a national park close to there. When the concert was finished it was pouring down though, so I said we should just go home. We sat in the car fighting about it and I couldn't work out why he so desperately wanted to go hiking in the rain! So we drove home in silence. As soon as we parked at our house, the skies cleared and it was lovely and sunny again, so we went walking anyway in 'our own' forest. We stood still for a bit, had a cuddle, and the next thing I knew he was on one knee and putting one of my own, cheap rings on my finger... before I'd even said yes! He was quite nervous. ? I'm a terrible control freak so he wanted me to be able to pick my own ring, which was really thoughtful. In the end I surprisingly decided I actually wanted that moment of seeing the ring that he had picked for me, so I told him what sort of thing I wanted, and he picked it out himself. He then gave it to me a few weeks later without any ceremony whatsoever, haha, but it was perfect.

    I love that he proposed outdoors in our favourite spot, and it was just the two of us. That's definitely what I had imagined, so yes, it matched pretty well. I think I did also imagine him having the ring already, like in the movies... but I'm actually glad it didn't happen like that because even though it lacked a bit of the suprise I now have a ring that I love, and will happily wear for the rest of my life!

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  • yorkshirekiwi
    Beginner August 2014
    yorkshirekiwi ·
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    Ah Mrs Shep, that is so lovely, I can't believe I didn't know that.

    My OH planned a big romantic gesture for our last night alone together in the UK before we emigrated. Well, I say planned - he imagined it: meal at my favourite restaurant, champagne on ice at home, playlist of our favourite 'us' songs, it did not go to plan!

    The very long story is in my report - link in sig!

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    View quoted message

    ❤️ love that boy!

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  • T
    Beginner May 2016
    Tidal Wave ·
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    Oh, how I cringe at my story - mainly for the reasons you stated, but I 100% cannot complain.

    In short, the summer before our 5 year anniversary (nov), he started showing me pictures of rings, to gauge what I liked, and didn't, and was adamant I wasn't picking. Fine, so next few months, I get shown pictures of rings, for my opinion, we also had I think our first row, where I didn't have any rings that he could measure because the one that's a closest fit I never take off, so I ended up measuring my finger so he knew my ring size. Then it all went silent. So our anniversary hadn't gone to plan. Christmas went, nothing. So New Year's eve comes, we're both a little drunk, and I opened the champers, because I had decided I was going to do it, as he was taking too long.

    So, the tv on in the lounge, the countdown has now started, so I very badly start to ask him. He then leaves the room, and goes upstairs, after he comes back, I shout at him, "you can say no, it's fine" he then proposes properly with the ring he had bought and had hidden upstairs. I then get told I wasn't supposed to have done that, but his plan had gone so horribly wrong and I had no idea how badly.

    Firstly, he had planned a full day of fun things to celebrate the anniversary, the thing in the morning, had cancelled on him 2 days before, the park we were supposed to go round, was closed for the winter, the meal was in a few towns down, and the trains were cancelled, so we missed our reservation, so we also missed the finale which was an old school cinema with a bottle of wine. To top it off, I have very small fingers, so the ring was being made, and it had been lost in hallmarking, so he didn't even have the ring on the day, and was panicking. We eventually got drunk in town, and got food poisoning from the restaurant we did go to.

    My expectations I didn't have any, apart from I never imagined I would do the proposing, but we have a memorable story from it ?

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  • KinkyBride
    Beginner March 2016
    KinkyBride ·
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    I can't say that I had any expectations however I didn't really expect how or when it did happen.

    we were ontop of a Martello tower in Suffolk; just us and our Labrador one evening when H2B wrapped his arms around me and said 'so will you marry me?'. I almost forgot to say yes as I was too busy trying to not fall off while turning around to face him hehe.

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  • AnnaMolly
    Beginner October 2015
    AnnaMolly ·
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    I had zero expectations. I clearly said to him no romantic proposal was needed and no ring required. We hadn't always planned on getting married so it just wasn't a big deal.

    In reality he proposed at the top of a mountain on one knee with a ring he had chosen very carefully from a jeweller in Hatton garden. Turns out he was more traditional than I thought!

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  • L
    Beginner October 2014
    LalaC1988 ·
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    So I can't say I ever really knew what I wanted for a proposal I would have probably gone down the fancy dressed restaurants route however my proposal happened perfectly for me

    Hubby asked me to Marry him on our last day on Cayo coco in Cuba we had just got back from flying over to Havana for the day and it was wonderful when we got back to the hotel he wanted to go see the beach for a final look we was snuggling up talking about how wonderful the holiday was etc and he said he had something to ask me I thought it was going to be shall we go swimming or something as I had resigned myself had it been planned it would be start of holiday and he asked me :-)

    He decided he couldn't think of anywhere more wonderful to ask me :-)

    Ironically his other idea was to ask me on the plane on the way home having asked one of the cabin crew for access to the speaker which would have soo not been him as he's quite a private person. Ironic because on the flight home from Havana to Cayo coco I had been soooo close to asking him...

    Perfect man perfect day :-)

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  • hollyhollytree
    Beginner September 2016
    hollyhollytree ·
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    Aw... I'm going to sound like a cow but I actually felt a little deflated after my fiance proposed to me! It was definitely on the cards so I knew it was coming... I just didn't expect it to happen at that time!

    I'm not into the smushy romantic stuff and I had previously told him I didn't want it to be in public, just the two of us. I honestly didn't have huge expectations. My parents were up for the weekend and I think he wanted to do it then so I'd be able to show them the ring afterwards which is really cute and I appreciated it.

    So we went for a walk, it was a lovely day and he picked a spot with a beautiful view. Trouble was my parents weren't able to come with us but my younger sister (aged 12) came along too. I was chatting with her, kind of ignoring him to be honest because I don't see her much, and then we sat on a bench and he just got on one knee and popped out this ring. He was obviously nervous and spoke really quickly and I was so shocked that I actually didn't hear him say "will you marry me" so I was kinda left hanging and I really didn't know what to say apart from "but my sister is here!"

    Then I put on the ring and it was stunning but way too big I couldn't even wear it on my finger, it was too big even for my thumb! He knew my ring size so I was just expecting a ring that fit, I didn't consider that it would be massive! Then he said "sorry it's too big, they didn't have the size in the design I wanted but don't worry we can get you another one"! So then I cried because I thought I'd have to give my ring back and I wouldn't have the ring that he proposed with. Turns out he meant we could get it resized but he didn't explain it properly.

    Also meant that I was newly engaged with everyone looking at my finger and I didn't have my ring back from the shop for two weeks.

    Overall, I'm so thrilled to be marrying him as he's just the most wonderful man but the proposal was a bit of a disappointment! Bless him! xxx

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