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Beginner August 2008

Questions to ask the vicar

Mel_ODrama, 6 April, 2008 at 13:57 Posted on Planning 0 22

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Update:id="size4">Hello All,
Apologies for absenteeism - hope you are all fine and dandy.

I'm off to see the vicar this weekend and I promised to bounce this every now and again for everyone and to see if anyone else wanted to add anything.
So any more for any more?id="red">

I was compiling a list and I thought "This is something that always gets asked on hitched wouldn't it be good if there was a list" sooooooo

<gulp>

I'm volunteering to be guardian of a Vicar List.id="size3">
If you post your questions here, I'll keep the list updated so we have them all in one place, and next time someone wants to know what they should ask the vicar they can call for it and we'll bounce it for them. Sound fair?

If there are questions that specifically relate to one religion or another, I'd be grateful if you could mark them as such and I'll group those together too.

Here's some of mine in no order of importance
Money
How much does it all cost?
When must this be paid?
Services
Can I have the bells rung?
Can I use the church choir - how much is this?
Can I use my own choir?
Is the organist available on my date?
Flowers
What does the church prefer about flowers (church's own flower ladies or may I use a florist)
When may our florist have access to the church to place the arrangements etc?
Are there any parts of the church where flowers may not be used?
Is there anyone else getting married the same day so that flower costs may be shared?
Music
Are the hymns we've chosen OK?
Is the processional/recesional music I've chosen ok?
Are my plans for the signing of the register (choir, harp etc) acceptable?
Is a piper permitted in the grounds of the church when we come out.
Do I need to get copyright permission to reproduce the hymns I want in my order of service?
Readings
Can non religious readings be included in the ceremony?
Are the readings we've selected acceptable?

Video/photo-graphyMay a videographer record the ceremony?
Can my photographer record the ceremony?
Is there a charge for licences for videographers
Is photography (e.g. guests) restricted at all and if so, is it possible to agree that only my photographer will be using a camera inside the church?

Legal
When will the banns be read and do i have to attend?
If so when are the services (e.g. every Sunday? What time?)
What documentation (passports/birth certificates etc) do we need to bring you?

Other/misc
How many does the church seat?
Will there be a rehersal? When will it be and who should attend?
Is confetti allowed?
Would the vicar like to proof-read the order of service before it is printed?
Do I have a choice about whether my bridesmaids walk in front or behind me?
Are there any evening classes that we should attend?
If there is a wedding before ours (either a couple of days before or on the day itself) and will any confetti be cleared away before I arrive? (Last thing you want is to walk down the aisle with confetti caught around the bottom of the dress)id="size1">
If not, is there a broom/vaccuum cleaner available for someone to clear it up before I arrive.
May petals be scattered before the bride?
Are there rules about adult:flowergirl ratios? (One vicar said that there must be one adult bridesmaid for every two flowergirls under 5 years old so they could keep them in check)id="size1">

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22 replies

Latest activity by Spring, 6 April, 2008 at 20:08

Beginner February 2008
Spring · 6 April, 2008 at 13:59
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When will the banns be read and do i have to attend? Some people do and some don't
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Beginner May 2008
pink alien · 6 April, 2008 at 14:00
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Oooooh, good idea!

Can my photographer record the ceremony? (ours doesn't allow it which was a bit of a disappointment)
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 14:04
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quote:Originally posted by Spring
When will the banns be read and do i have to attend? Some people do and some don't
id="quote">

Done ?
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 14:05
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quote:Originally posted by pink alien
Oooooh, good idea!

Can my photographer record the ceremony? (ours doesn't allow it which was a bit of a disappointment)

id="quote">

Done?
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Beginner February 2008
Spring · 6 April, 2008 at 14:05
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Some people think they have a choice to whether the BM walk in front or behind......you might not! We didn't. They had to walk behind me and the Vicar walked in front.

Might be worth asking 'do my BM walk in front or behind me' if you want it a particular way
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 14:08
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quote:Originally posted by Spring
Some people think they have a choice to whether the BM walk in front or behind......you might not! We didn't. They had to walk behind me and the Vicar walked in front.

Might be worth asking 'do my BM walk in front or behind me' if you want it a particular way
id="quote">

Wow - I truly did not know that.

All added, Spring ?
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Ms T · 6 April, 2008 at 14:09
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If there is a wedding before ours (either a couple of days before or on the day itself) and if there is any confetti thrown, will that be cleared away before you arrive? Last thing you want is to walk down the aisle with confetti caught around the bottom of your dress.

If the vicar/church helpers won't clear it ask if there is a broom/vaccuum cleaner available for someone to clear it up before you arrive.

Do you need to get copyright permission to reproduce the hymns you want and do they charge for licences for videographers (I know ours did but we weren't having one anyway so it didn't matter!)
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ReallyBigSmile · 6 April, 2008 at 14:11
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I know you mentioned I think enquiring " May a videographer record the ceremony?" but also make discrete enquires about a photographer. (actually sometimes not mentioning it may be better, unless they mention it first!).

Often we find Priests and Vicars want to ban nearly all photography mainly because they do not want everyone's automatic flash going off all through the ceremony and putting off the couple and themselves, the choir, organist etc!

As photographers and we would not use flash in a church to capture the pictures, instead using better lenses, high ISO, perhaps a monopod or tripod, and staying either to the sides or at the back where we can be inconspicuous. But because of the guests attitudes to getting out their cameras it can often mean the Church gives out a blanket ban!

If there is any advice I would give to couples who want pictures of the exchanging of the rings and capturing the emotion on faces, it would be to tell their guests NOT to get their cameras out in the church and leave it to the professional photographer to whom they have often paid a lot of money, for fear of upsetting the vicar and meaning the professional photographer is also told not to take photographs! ?

that's my 2p worth!

Michelle ?
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Ms T · 6 April, 2008 at 14:13
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Oh just thought of another couple

Do they allow petals to be scattered before the bride?

And a customer was telling me the other day that her vicar said that she had to have one adult bridesmaid for every two flowergirls under 5 years old so they could keep them in check. Not sure if that is a common thing but thought I would mention it.
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Beginner February 2008
Spring · 6 April, 2008 at 14:15
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quote:Originally posted by ReallyBigSmile
I know you mentioned I think enquiring " May a videographer record the ceremony?" but also make discrete enquires about a photographer. (actually sometimes not mentioning it may be better, unless they mention it firstid="red">!).

Often we find Priests and Vicars want to ban nearly all photography mainly because they do not want everyone's automatic flash going off all through the ceremony and putting off the couple and themselves, the choir, organist etc!

As photographers and we would not use flash in a church to capture the pictures, instead using better lenses, high ISO, perhaps a monopod or tripod, and staying either to the sides or at the back where we can be inconspicuous. But because of the guests attitudes to getting out their cameras it can often mean the Church gives out a blanket ban!

If there is any advice I would give to couples who want pictures of the exchanging of the rings and capturing the emotion on faces, it would be to tell their guests NOT to get their cameras out in the church and leave it to the professional photographer to whom they have often paid a lot of money, for fear of upsetting the vicar and meaning the professional photographer is also told not to take photographs! ?

that's my 2p worth!

Michelle ?
id="quote">

That's very true. The person we booked the church through mentioned about copyright but the Vicar didn't care ?
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Beginner August 2009
Cheekyleeky · 6 April, 2008 at 14:18
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If there is a rehersal and when it would take place. who needs to be there etc.

When can the florist have access to the church to place flowers etc?
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 14:25
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quote:Originally posted by Ms T
If there is a wedding before ours (either a couple of days before or on the day itself) and if there is any confetti thrown, will that be cleared away before you arrive? Last thing you want is to walk down the aisle with confetti caught around the bottom of your dress.

If the vicar/church helpers won't clear it ask if there is a broom/vaccuum cleaner available for someone to clear it up before you arrive.

Do you need to get copyright permission to reproduce the hymns you want and do they charge for licences for videographers (I know ours did but we weren't having one anyway so it didn't matter!)
id="quote">

Thank you Mrs T - all added ?
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 14:31
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quote:Originally posted by ReallyBigSmile
make discrete enquires about a photographer.
Often we find Priests and Vicars want to ban nearly all photography mainly because they do not want everyone's automatic flash going off all through the ceremony and putting off the couple and themselves, the choir, organist etc!
that's my 2p worth!

Michelle ?
id="quote">

Good points Michelle - I hope I've captured the essence of what you've said into a question [:I] let me know if you feel any supplementary questions, or amendments ?
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 14:39
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quote:Originally posted by Ms T
Oh just thought of another couple

Do they allow petals to be scattered before the bride?

And a customer was telling me the other day that her vicar said that she had to have one adult bridesmaid for every two flowergirls under 5 years old so they could keep them in check. Not sure if that is a common thing but thought I would mention it.
id="quote">

Thanks again - hope I've captured it corectly - let me know if not
?
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 14:46
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quote:Originally posted by Cheekyleeky
If there is a rehersal and when it would take place. who needs to be there etc.

When can the florist have access to the church to place flowers etc?
id="quote">

All added, Cheeky - Thank you ?
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Beginner February 2008
Spring · 6 April, 2008 at 14:47
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Does he want to proof read the OOS before it goes to print. Mine did
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 14:50
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quote:Originally posted by Spring
Does he want to proof read the OOS before it goes to print. Mine did
id="quote">

OOh that's a good one, Spring - added ?
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Beginner February 2008
Spring · 6 April, 2008 at 14:54
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If there is someone getting married on the same day and you don't want to take your flowers to the reception 'does the other person want to share the cost of the flowers (if colours can be compromised on)?'
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 15:20
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quote:Originally posted by Spring
If there is someone getting married on the same day and you don't want to take your flowers to the reception 'does the other person want to share the cost of the flowers (if colours can be compromised on)?'
id="quote">

Damn, you're good!

Added ?
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Beginner February 2008
Spring · 6 April, 2008 at 15:22
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quote:Originally posted by Mel_ODrama
quote:Originally posted by Spring
If there is someone getting married on the same day and you don't want to take your flowers to the reception 'does the other person want to share the cost of the flowers (if colours can be compromised on)?'
id="quote">

Damn, you're good!

Added ?
id="quote">

Why thank you.

Anyone would think i was already married ?
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Beginner August 2008
Mel_ODrama · 6 April, 2008 at 19:01
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Shameless ? for the evening crowd
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Beginner June 2009
Blondie_2009 · 6 April, 2008 at 20:03
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Hello there - how can I get a copy ot this list when it is all compiled?

Also - is there a similar list for photographers /videographers / flowers etc.[?]
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Beginner February 2008
Spring · 6 April, 2008 at 20:08
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What time does he want you to be there (if your thinking about being late)?

Mine wanted me there on the dot and wouldn't have liked it if i was 10 mins late.
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Questions to ask the vicar

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