Quick Poll: Does the Hen contribute to her Hen Party?

I didn't contribute to mine, nor did the bride who I organised a hen night for.

I wouldn't expect to not pay, and if it's offered then great. On my hen nights I paid for all my accomadtion ect, but the girls bought me drinks along the way.

I have paid for my Hen Do weekend, I wouldn't expect other people to pay for me.

I didn't but I offered and the offer refused. Instead I paid for a pub meal on the Saturday night as a thank you. I had an AMAZING weekend and was spoilt rotten ?

I did. My friends had enough to pay for.

I paid for mine, the girls all bought me drinks though, i wouldn't expect a freebie just because it was my hen party. Money is tight and so it wouldn't have been fair to expect the other girls to pay for me.

My sister is paying for me, but thats instead of a wedding present, as we are hoping for money as presents

I didn't, AFAIK it was never discussed by my BMs and I always assumed I would. I was bought drinks by the girls, although on the second night's dinner we were £5 short for the restaurant bill, instead of trying to re-work it out I just chucked a fiver on and told my organising BM who tried to protest that I now didn't have much cash left so maybe she could get the other girls to buy me drinks!

I have been on 4 other hen dos - on 2 of them the organisers explained our total to pay included the hen's share (which wasn't much more), on the other 2 I wasn't asked to contribute for anyone extra.

If I were to organise one, asking for contributions to the hen's share would depend on the activity and number of guests as this would affect the cost. An extra £5-10pp for the hen is probably as much as I would ask people to contribute.

Don't think I'm having a hen night, but if I was then I would expect to pay. Particularly if people have had to travel and make arrangements - I don't think it's particularly fair to expect a freebie.

Just my opinion!

Ali x

I would not expect anyone to pay for me, but if I have 1 we looking at sharing it at the races.

My cousin got married about 4 years ago, her bm organised hers for her with all sorts of lovely treats. Paying for picnics, the races and meals etc. Both me and my sister where invited, even though it was my cousin and I went on my other cousins, which we did not contribute to. I could not justify paying out more money than I could have afforded, for the hen. I would have been happy to pay for myself, for it was something like £200-£300 for me which I still could not really afford and my sister then my cousin's share on top. We bowed out gracefully, saying I had a christening I think or something like that. Even though I did, but not on that weekend.

x

Hmm, seems like there are a lot of different experiences!

I ask because I've been on 3 Hen parties before and at each of them I've contributed to cover the Hen's share, and so I just assumed this was ''the done thing'' as I have never been to one where the Hen pays, but it seems not.

I wasn't expecting ''a freebie'', and I do understand that it will be a costly event for all involved especially as I have some friends travelling 200 miles to be there.

Bridesmaid L has organised it, and hasn't asked for any money to pay for my share, then last night I had a message from Bridesmaid B, saying do I want B&L to pay for my share as my wedding present. Yesterday, prior to this I had been talking to my work collegues who are coming, and they were under the impression that they money they had paid would have covered my share too.

Now B&L have already bought their own bridesmaid dresses so I don't want them to fork out any more money for me and I'm happy to pay my share, but my work collegues think they have paid for me so what do I do there?!

The only times I've been at hen dos where the bride has been paid for are ones which were just a meal out and where it wouldn't have been more than a fiver per head. There's no way I could accept the offer of people paying for me, I feel bad enough putting people to expense for my wedding as it is.

Just leave it and see what happens on the day. This wouldn't have even entered my head ?

I can't just leave it, everything needs paying for up front before the day.

Just to clarify, my work collegues thought they had paid for me as they have paid £30 for our evening activity including food and a drink, and there are about 15 of us altogether so it would have only been a couple of pounds each.

Ask the person collecting the money when she needs your share by. If you don't need to give a share then she would tell you.

Just my opinion but I wouldn't take it as a "wedding present". Our wedding gifts were for us together, I wouldn't have felt right about it. We both budgeted our own stag and hen dos.

Just never entered my head that I would not be paying my share and that my friends would be footing the bill.........but maybe I've just got stingy mates ?

If you're looking for the best of both worlds, we do a special offer where the hen goes free! might be worth looking at? xx

I'm with CountDuckula - I feel bad enough that people are paying £90 for my hen do - I couldn't let them pay for me aswell, especially on top of travel to the wedding, accomodation for some people, present, outfit etc etc it all mounts up for guests too!!

One hen party I'm going on later this year the bride's sister and mum are paying for her, but I have to say I'm glad they haven't asked everyone to chip in as there's no way I could afford it.

I think if it's just a meal then maybe the bride shouldn't pay, but not for the whole thing.

Another thing i would do is ring BM L and ask her why some of the other people that are attending think they have contributed towards your share? Surely they must have been told this by BM L for them to think that as wouldn't they have been told the prices so would know if they were paying for more than their share.

Mine is a weekend, we have all paid for our rooms and meal on the friday night seperatly, which has cost each person £54.50 (bargin for room, 3 course meal, brekkie and use of spa) so I paid for my own since i organised this part, no question of asking for any contributions. I have since found out that the bridesmaids are going to be asking for a further £15 a head to cover things for the saturday night which is going to be held at my home, and i am sure people are being asked to bring stuff as well - which I am a bit horrified about - I did offer to contribute to this but was told no. I don't actually like the fact that I appear to have little control over the event, and also a lot of my 'mummy' friends don't have the disposable income that my bridemaids do etc. and I worry about them getting hacked off.

xxx

I am looking into mine and fully intend for myself. I don't know whether I have paid towards my friends hen nights though. I just tell whoever is organising it to let me know what I owe and I buy them drinks when we're out.

I paid for one thing (about £40) and thats all they would let me pay for! That was for a whole weekend away and going to see Dirty Dancing! tbh I would have been happier paying more but the girls wouldnt let me!

x

I'm not paying for mine but did intend to and offered (on many occasions) but was told not to. As one part is abroad (or so I am led to believe) I feel terrible that I haven't contributed. So to make up for it, I will be buying drinks and things like that to try and make up for it in some way.

As for your bridesmaid, WSpringS. I would phone and ask why some people think they have contributed towards the cost.