Rants about weddings

Cutting a family member out of your life because they've been a bit difficult about your wedding is a little harsh don't you think? I wasn't talking about huge issues, just little irritating ones that make the process more difficult. My grandmother moaned about everything to do with the wedding. This made it a bit more stressful than it should have been but I wouldn't have stopped talking to her because she was being a pain!

If only life was that simple, missrae! ?

Your post was confusing. As we were discussing "rants about weddings" I assumed the problems you talked about were about the wedding, even if it was a long time before the date. Cutting an abusive father out of your life is far more understandable than cutting out someone who makes your wedding planning difficult. I don't really see where the comparison comes in.

Ahh but if your Mum is upset as she is alone and the thought of losing her little (29yr old!) girl is a bit too much for her and therefore is interfering and criticising each choice you make, then instead of cutting her out of your life, you might give her little jobs to be in charge of (like making cake/favours) so you can concentrate on other things, and you might have to make compromises on things you want to do (like having a round top table rather than a linear one) so she doesn't feel like the only one not in a couple. That's easy than upsetting her, a bit of tightrope walking!

If I'd have done that then I'd have fallen out with the people I love the most. My Mum has a right to have an input into my wedding - and no she didn't pay for it. She has a right as she's my Mum. I realise that this is my cabbage and not everyone else's, but it would have been a LOT more stressful to turn round and say that, rather than compromise and respect her feelings

What Nursey said. Also in my case the thing that stressed me out the most is that my grandmother didn't tell me directly when she had a problem, she moaned about it to my mum and dad and made them feel bad. If I'd turned round and told her to butt out it would have caused no end of hassle for my parents. The extra stress was worth it to keep them happy. I'm very much of the opinion that yes it is your and your OH's day but other people have a right to be involved and you shouldn't just do exactly what you want at the expense of everyone else. As long as you end up married, nothing else is worth giving your guests a miserable day. (Just to clarify that last bit isn't aimed at anyone in particular.)