Registrar script for ceremony

I would doubt that you are able to make your ceremony completely bespoke (this the the exact reason myself and my OH have opted for a humanist ceremony), but I think it depends on the registrar. Speak to them and they will be able to tell you.

Yes - but we have a humanist minister, not a registrar.

Our registrar sent us her script several weeks in advance. She said she was happy to discuss changes if we wanted to make any.

It was the same situation with us. I really wanted the bespoke ceremony with no limitations, as I am also worried as the registrars tend to have their own restrictions too (as far as I know, no alcohol can be on the premises while she is there - what else I wonder?)

But, my OH really wanted to sign the papers there and then and have it all legal on the day, so I have just gritted my teeth and compromised and let him have his way on this one

I hope I can get the script in advance like another hitcher, and I hope they are leaniant with 'tweaking' it!!

WWB I guess you could just make contact perhaps a month before your wedding to find out who will marry you, as you never know, the rota may stay the same! You can then ask for the script All the best!

Of course, you guys would have to work out what works best for you.

We're abroad for ours, and couldn't have legally got married there if we wanted to - so the decision was made for us. What we've opted for though, is for just the two of us to 'nip in' to the registry office on our way to the airport, we'll grab some witnesses from wherever we can and we've specified at the registry office that we don't want any fancy words, no vows, we don't want to exchange rings etc, we literally just want to get the paperwork done. We'll be in our clothes to travel in (I won't lie - I've already picked out my dress, and it has bits of white on it ?) and we'll have our cases with us (potentially 2 big cases each plus hand luggage! We have a lot to take over for the wedding!!)

I suppose it depends on which parts are important to you and OH, if you see a lot of symbolism in the legal aspect of marrying, then i'd understand wanting to build the ceremony around that moment. To us, the most important part of the ceremony are our words, sharing them with our families, involving them and making promises, which is why we're quite happy to minimise the other bit.

I do think though that if we were getting married here, we might still have gone with a humanist ceremony, knowing what I know now about restrictions etc. My stepmothers father had a humanist funeral and I heard it was beautiful and very personal (I wasn't there.)

Slightly different circumstances, but when I made my booking, I explained that we will be needing an interpreter for my sister who is deaf. The woman making the booking for me offered to let me have a copy of the script in advance so that I could pass it to the interpreter so he/she would be prepared.

I guess, like many things, it just varies from office to office or county to county.

We're having a civil ceremony and have been sent a pack giving us an option of 6 scripts to pick for the registrar to use. They've said we can mix them up and add bits in if we like, however there are legal bits in there that have to remain. Other than that, the registrars have been really flexible.

Mind you, now we have too much choice and it's taking me ages to decide what I want!

With the exception of the legal bits I've totally rewritten our ceremony x

We, too, were given a choice of four scripts from our registrar, but any more personalisations had to be paid extra for, so I just chose one of the four options. I wasn't too fussed about the ceremony beforehand. On the day, however, I cried pretty much all the way through! I was very overwhelmed by how meaningful it was (even though it was one of their standard scripts).

As I've been writing my replies to other threads, the main advice that seems to be coming out of my mouth (/keyboard?) is that whatever decisions you make, whatever details you choose, your wedding day is going to be fabulous! You will even make meaning out of (what you may currently perceive to be) a boring standard script, because the meaning and beauty is already there - in your relationship. In a sense, the more 'traditional' and less customised parts of the ceremony may feel even more overwhelmingly beautiful, almost like a recurring motif that has belonged to so many others and is finally your own.

Perhaps I shouldn't have had that second glass of wine and started looking through wedding pictures, but I really do mean it - the meaning and the emotion and the personality is there already. You'll have a lovely day.

Mrs House

It is very hard to get the registrars to change the wording and this is why couples often choose an Independent celebrant ( doesn't have to be Humanist).

We write everything for you and it can have elements of religion or non-religious -.exactly as you want it. We are often cheaper too!

If you want to know more ( especially if your OH is unsure) please feel free to contact me for more info

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Karina

Sadly Independents cannot do the legal registration yet.

Sometimes separating the legal marriage registration from the wedding ceremony can save you money and this thought may tempt your groom to see it your way. Lol

As an example.....in Kent you pay approx £600 to get married in an approved venue. Plus £55 to book, £70 for your notices, £4 for your certificate and a further £94 for a rehearsal making a total of £823

if you just have your registration of marriage at a register office you pay £70 for the notice, £45 for the registration and £4 for your certificate. A cost of £119. I would then charge approx £395 ( depends on requirements but this is my average fee) making a total cost of £514. This includes writing your ceremony script exactly how you want it and a free rehearsal.......thereby saving you just over £300.

Your groom saves money, you get the personalised wedding you desire and its a win, win.

Obviously fees are different around the country and Independents fees may vary.

It can be done on the same day. You could have the legal part at 9am and then your other ceremony at, say, 2pm or even 3pm if you wanted a bit longer to get ready.

We're going to be doing the legal bit as early as we can in the day then seperate to go and get ready for our wedding :-)