Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Beginner July 2024 Cornwall

Removing friend from guestlist

Catherine, 7 November, 2023 at 20:26 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 12

Saved

Report
Hide content

Hello, I wanted some thoughts and advice.
Long story short, I've been friends with this person for around 15 years or more. We've always been super close. Up until about a year ago, she started to become distant and we grew apart, and she would always be nasty to me when she was drunk. We've discussed this and she didn't see a problem.
She got married in July this year, and 4 weeks before the wedding she told me she wanted me to come to her wedding as a guest rather than a bridesmaid. It was hard but I did it. She hasn't spoke to me since her wedding, and I noticed her and her husband have now unfollowed me on instagram. Due to this, I questionned where I stood in her life now and wanted to know due to my upcoming wedding and having to finalise guests and send the invites this month. She responded without even acknowledging my wedding, or what she had done. She gaslight me by saying her husband never followed me and she did it months ago after asking me not to be her bridesmaid anymore to protect herself. It's all very messy, I have tried to make amends many times since and she seems uninterested.
Basically do I take her off the guest list, or just invite her to the evening. I'm totally torn.
Thank you for reading.

Report
Hide content

12 replies

Latest activity by Charlotte, 14 November, 2023 at 16:52

Curious July 2024 Norfolk
Jessica · 7 November, 2023 at 20:42
Report

Hide content
In short, take her off the list.
Its really tough after a long friendship but she has made it clear how little she now values your friendship. Please find a way to remove her negative energy from your life and focus on the more fulfilling relationships. People do move apart, seemingly for no reason often, and it can be really painful, but I think you should save yourself even more pain and move on from her I’m afraid. Hope that doesn’t sound harsh.
- Reply
Beginner July 2024 Cornwall
Catherine · 7 November, 2023 at 20:46
Report

Hide content
View quoted message
Not harsh at all, infact exactly what my gut is telling me to do. Thank you. It is draining me at what is such an amazing time in my life xx
- Reply
Curious July 2024 Norfolk
Jessica · 7 November, 2023 at 20:47
Report

Hide content
I think you have your answer then I’m afraid, leave her behind and focus on exciting times ahead :-)
- Reply
VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 7 November, 2023 at 22:03
Report

Hide content
She needed to unfollow you to 'protect herself'?!!! What on earth?!!!! Anyone who claims to need to reduce contact with you to protect themselves should definitely not be getting an invite to your wedding!
- Reply
Beginner June 2024 West Midlands
Sandra · 8 November, 2023 at 09:10
Report

Hide content
No do not invite her. She's not a friend. Friends don't do that sending my love hun xx
- Reply
Rockstar July 2023 Kent
Lea · 8 November, 2023 at 21:05
Report

Hide content
Take her off the list but be prepared for the friendship to end.
I was in a similar situation. Remove the negativity from your life.
- Reply
Beginner August 2024 Oxfordshire
Chad · 10 November, 2023 at 13:13
Report

Hide content
You want to invite people who are there for you as you would be for them, as painful as it may be it would feel worse if you did send them an invite to one of your most important events of your life, and in your own words…. She hasn’t earned that
- Reply
Beginner June 2025 Dorset
Jd · 10 November, 2023 at 21:56
Report

Hide content
If she came to your wedding I think you would be worrying on the day about her being there, which is not what you need on your big day! I cut ties with a ‘best friend’ of 15ish years as we drifted apart and she stopped making the effort because she had a new life. It was causing me so much stress and I never knew where I stood with her. My life is so much easier now and I put my energy into good friends who I care about and who equally care for me 😊
- Reply
Beginner May 2025 Dorset
Hope · 12 November, 2023 at 01:31
Report

Hide content
I just wanted to say- Thankyou for posting this OP it caught my attention as someone having very similar, and the replies have helped going with my gut feeling without feeling as guilty.

I hope your wedding goes well and just remember that you’ve done what is best
- Reply
Beginner September 2024 Staffordshire
Katie · 12 November, 2023 at 20:24
Report

Hide content
Personally, I’d take her off the list. It could be for the best hun x
- Reply
Beginner November 2024 Buckinghamshire
Alexandra · 14 November, 2023 at 12:24
Report

Hide content
Take her off, if she’s not in your life you have nothing to feel bad about
- Reply