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Catherine
Beginner July 2024 Cornwall

Removing friend from guestlist

Catherine, 7 of November of 2023 at 20:26 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 12
Hello, I wanted some thoughts and advice.
Long story short, I've been friends with this person for around 15 years or more. We've always been super close. Up until about a year ago, she started to become distant and we grew apart, and she would always be nasty to me when she was drunk. We've discussed this and she didn't see a problem.
She got married in July this year, and 4 weeks before the wedding she told me she wanted me to come to her wedding as a guest rather than a bridesmaid. It was hard but I did it. She hasn't spoke to me since her wedding, and I noticed her and her husband have now unfollowed me on instagram. Due to this, I questionned where I stood in her life now and wanted to know due to my upcoming wedding and having to finalise guests and send the invites this month. She responded without even acknowledging my wedding, or what she had done. She gaslight me by saying her husband never followed me and she did it months ago after asking me not to be her bridesmaid anymore to protect herself. It's all very messy, I have tried to make amends many times since and she seems uninterested.
Basically do I take her off the guest list, or just invite her to the evening. I'm totally torn.
Thank you for reading.

12 replies

Latest activity by Charlotte, 14 of November of 2023 at 16:52
  • J
    Curious July 2024 Norfolk
    Jessica ·
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    In short, take her off the list.
    Its really tough after a long friendship but she has made it clear how little she now values your friendship. Please find a way to remove her negative energy from your life and focus on the more fulfilling relationships. People do move apart, seemingly for no reason often, and it can be really painful, but I think you should save yourself even more pain and move on from her I’m afraid. Hope that doesn’t sound harsh.
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  • Catherine
    Beginner July 2024 Cornwall
    Catherine ·
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    Not harsh at all, infact exactly what my gut is telling me to do. Thank you. It is draining me at what is such an amazing time in my life xx
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  • J
    Curious July 2024 Norfolk
    Jessica ·
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    I think you have your answer then I’m afraid, leave her behind and focus on exciting times ahead :-)
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    She needed to unfollow you to 'protect herself'?!!! What on earth?!!!! Anyone who claims to need to reduce contact with you to protect themselves should definitely not be getting an invite to your wedding!

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  • Sandra
    Beginner June 2024 West Midlands
    Sandra ·
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    No do not invite her. She's not a friend. Friends don't do that sending my love hun xx
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  • Lea
    Rockstar July 2023 Kent
    Lea ·
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    Take her off the list but be prepared for the friendship to end.

    I was in a similar situation. Remove the negativity from your life.

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  • C
    Beginner August 2024 Oxfordshire
    Chad ·
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    You want to invite people who are there for you as you would be for them, as painful as it may be it would feel worse if you did send them an invite to one of your most important events of your life, and in your own words…. She hasn’t earned that
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  • J
    Beginner June 2025 Dorset
    Jd ·
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    If she came to your wedding I think you would be worrying on the day about her being there, which is not what you need on your big day! I cut ties with a ‘best friend’ of 15ish years as we drifted apart and she stopped making the effort because she had a new life. It was causing me so much stress and I never knew where I stood with her. My life is so much easier now and I put my energy into good friends who I care about and who equally care for me 😊
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  • H
    Beginner May 2025 Dorset
    Hope ·
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    I just wanted to say- Thankyou for posting this OP Smiley smile it caught my attention as someone having very similar, and the replies have helped going with my gut feeling without feeling as guilty.


    I hope your wedding goes well and just remember that you’ve done what is best Smiley smile
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  • Katie
    Beginner September 2024 Staffordshire
    Katie ·
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    Personally, I’d take her off the list. It could be for the best hun x
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  • Alexandra
    Beginner November 2024 Buckinghamshire
    Alexandra ·
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    Take her off, if she’s not in your life you have nothing to feel bad about
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  • C
    Beginner June 2024 Leicestershire
    Charlotte ·
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    Take her off!
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