RSVP Replies! Nightmare!

I'm in a similar position. Our cut off date is 27th April. I sent a text last night to those people who hadn't sent it back yet.....All of them said they'd forgotten!! Grrrrrrr. I would like to not have chased them and said no rsvp, no place! But I was just worried about people sending them back late, turning up on the day etc. hopefully you're guests have just honestly forgotten to post it back like mine =)

We all have the same problem!

Weve only had a handful of official 'card' rsvp. The rest have been either texts or to our faces

AND still waiting for OH's parents to reply!!! Obviously coming (I think!) but manners cost nothing (grrr!)

would love to say no RSVP means not coming, but people will still be turning up lol

so nothing bridezilla at all keep chasing them

amazes me that you go to all the trouble and expense of official invitations and people don't even have the courtesy to reply correctly (now I'm bridezilla! Lol) Makes you wonder why you bothered and didn't just buy a invitation pad from card factory!!!! Rant over lol

good luck x

Totally agree with the comments you've both made, thanks for making me not feel like "its just me moaning"!

I didn't want to state it but me and OH has spent over the odds on our stationary, a ridiculous amount if i am honest, but it doesn't take two minutes to place a tick and either post back, drop off or at least text or call!

None of the people who have got back to me have said "ive forgot" if they had said that i wouldn't have minded.

The excuses i've got is, oh ive been busy recently and been ill....... I just want to scream haven't we bloody all!

I've ended up with heart problems and on beta blockers but you don't see me moaning!! Infact your causing me more stress!

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You don't sound like a bridezilla at all! I think people sometimes honestly don't realise that they haven't (or need to!) reply. I'm hoping to use the prompt of "can I just check that you don't have an allergies/food intolerances" for the meal as my way of finding out if they are actually coming!

I think I would keep chasing until I had a reply, but that's down to personal choice!

I feel guilty, when I was a bridesmaid I didn't RSVP! Oops. I don't think you are a bridezilla though!

I wouldn't chase again now until after your cut off date, and then I'd only do it once. "The RSVP date has now passed and we need to give numbers to the venue by the end of the week [I think white lies are fine in situations like this!]. Do you think you'll be able to make it?" No answer by then = no space for them on the day.

Same here! our deadline isnt until 1st of may. but im already getting antsy and want to start poking people! i keep having zilla daydreams shouting ''do you know how long those invites took to make?! do you realise i was covered in glue and glitter for a week and OH went to work looking all sparkly??!!!''.

but now i feel horrid for all the times i havent rsvp'd properly . until planning my own wedding, i honestly had no idea how it all worked for booking, placecards etc. i think i just presumed the fairies did it all. though to be fair, i have always given a verbal rsvp before the due date. but ive never been the best at the posting part.

I totally sympathise as I'm in the same position - these invites took me about 6 months to individually handmade. And yet hardly anyone has replied!!

It is so irritating, I guess they assume that you "know" they're coming or they've forgotten.

My grandparents have paid for their hotel room but not RSVPS so I assume they are coming and don't want a vegetarian meal

See I slightly disagree with this. FBIL is getting married in June and sent out invites at a similar time to you, with a deadline of 30th April. Now in the hopes for good Karma, I completed and returned ours on the designated slip straight away - but only because I know how stressful it can all be! Most things with a deadline, the deadline gets written on the calendar, I put it off, realise at the last minute I've not done it when I see the note on the calendar and send it, usually sliding in on the day of deadline! Maybe others are doing the same thing, yes everyone is busy etc, but the wedding probably seems a long time away for those not involved in the planning and if they've not done it recently probably don't realise how infuriating it is. My FBIL and his fiancé are chasing a cousin of the family on a weekly basis to ask if they're coming or not, despite being told its entirely dependent on whether one of them has had his back surgery by then which they're waiting for, as if so they wont be attending as he wont be mobile. I know that's a slightly different scenario, but its bugging me they keep pestering them when the deadline hasn't been and gone yet - if you wanted them back earlier, you should have set an earlier deadline, at least then your chasing would be justified!

I hope everyone gets back to you soon, and please don't let it damage your health, its really not worth it!! xx

So I'm a long way off sending my invites out but know I'm going to have the same problem with chasing RSVP's - which makes me totally agree with this ^^

I chased absolutely anyone who hadn't made a hint of replying until I had the very last RSVP.

I did provide self addressed envelopes with stamps for each and every one of them though.

I wouldnt accepted a txt reply or face to face and told them I needed to know menu choices, if they were bringing a plus one etc so to send it back.

I was like militant bride Laura ?

I can see it would be annoying as it's your special day but to them it's just another wedding. You have to appreciate that it won't be at the forefront of their minds as it is yours, so they may simply have forgotten and used the busy / ill as an excuse as they might not want you to think they don't care as much as you do.

But also, unless you know exactly how busy or ill they are then you can't really say this is a poor excuse. They could have a life-threatening illness for all you know, in which case your wedding probably won't be their top priority.

Our deadline is 29th April so I've sent all those who haven't replied (on my side) yet a message remininding them of this! My OH will remind his side!

xXx

Im in same position. Im waiting on about 30 replies and deadline is tomorrow, most of which is his family. Im not looking forward to chasing them after tomorrow.

Well girls it's officially d day for me, the time is up!

Ive text everyone I'm awaiting on and got kind of answers;

Ones away this weekend but definitely going, but will post invite after weekend

Second one they've sent RSVP back but still not got it, but they've confirmed definitely going

Third is unsure they can get time off work but will have a definite answer today for me

Fingers crossed!!

I've not sent mine out yet, but based purely what I have seen on here, it seems like everyone has such a nightmare getting the cards back that I'm not going to send them. I'm just putting my contact details on the invite so they can contact me personally. Otherwise I'd have been splashing out around £50 on stamps for cards which would never have come back.

OP - I think should do what others have suggested, give them a 7 day cut off. If no response, no place, simples

I understand you and the same time I'm scared what will happen when I need replies!

My good friend was in the same situation. One week before the deadline only 5 people replied!!! She chased them one by one, she had to employ her parents to get to some of the further family members, it was a nightmare for everybody. And did anybody say sorry for not replying? No.

At the end she managed to get the replies and was finally able to let the venue know and place food orders. There was only one person who did not reply and that person's relatives informed my friend that she is not coming due to some business trip. Fine. So they new exactly how many people there will be... and what happened on the wedding day? That one person, who was supposed to be on a business trip, arrived! And was very surprised that there's no room for her!!!!!!!!!

Just for the record: my friend gave the address, the phone number and two email addresses for RSVP. Now I wonder what the hell else can you do? What will I do?

I know how you feel I personally stamped and addressed return envelops and sent them out with the invites and still people couldnt be bothered to tick and box and stick in the post box - its bloody ridiculous and lazy

I've still got to send mine which I probably will in the next couple of weeks. I've handed out a couple to bridesmaids and my mum etc so far. My mum done hers straight away with food choice. My bridesmaids said that I didn't need the RSVP because they know I was coming. I did explain that I need it for food choices. I have return envelope on there too.

we are going to a wedding a week today and we sent it back as soon as we go it. I spoke to the bride a few weeks ago and she said she still hadn't had all back yet and her RSVP date was feb. I know now getting any invite to now RSVP ASAP.

Lucky for me when the time comes to chasing ours up it will be mainly h2bs side (his friends) so he can do the chasing there lol. I could be surprised by my side and them do the same specially the ones that you know are going. I hope not!

It's shocking. OH family are the worst ie FSIL's no rsvp. Their response was "Well you know I'm coming". Yes but you still had the courtesy of a printed invitation, imagine if we had not sent them an invitation and just said well we know your coming !! and there were food choices to be made. Even it its quite a relaxed informal wedding it's still a formal event & people should really have the manners to reply. I & OH agreed that if after 7 days post rsvp date we had still not heard we would assume they were not coming. 1 person made it by the skin of their teeth lol