RSVP stress

This sounds pretty standard from what I've experienced. Close family and friends RSVPd straight away, then the cut off date came and went and we were sending people multiple messages for an answer. Only last night I sent about a dozen facebook messages to evening guests, who answered straight away! It makes me sound like an old grump but it's a sign of the times we live in I think, but at least I know now :-)

Sounds about right from what my best friend told me. I admit I never RSVP'd straight away but I always sent them off before the cut off date! I have no way of contacting some of my family except through post, which worries me. I think I'll be taking the online RSVP route instead of cards. People can be so lazy lol.

That does make me feel a little better. I just don't get why people insist on leaving it until the last minute. It's a simple enough question. Are you coming to the wedding or not

I had to text one of my friends (the first I had given an invitation to) saying FREE FOOD. Got his attention haha

Don't worry we are getting married Saturday and still waiting for RSVP from OH parents lol (they are coming, they just don't have manners ?)

i personally would reply reply straight away but everyone's different

good luck with your replies

x

I'm afraid I'm one of the people that would have left it to the last minute. As long as it was by the deadline I never saw the issue. We did even forget to reply to a cousins wedding invite I'm ashamed to say ?

Now I've been through it myself, I'll be replying as soon as possible!

Our evening invite RSVP date is today and still waiting on loads of replies!

I'm gonna have to message them and ask them! Hopefully i'll get the immediate response like the other poster did!

I find it really annoying - don't need the hassle lol!

xXx

When is your deadline? If it hasn't passed yet then I don't understand why you're getting wound up - if you wanted them earlier you should have put an earlier date. I do think if you give people too long a rsvp window they're more likely to forget. We gave just under 4 weeks and nearly everyone met the deadline. We didn't intend to chase at all but I was speaking to a friend before the deadline and it came out that she had sent a card with letter and her rsvp. It hadn't arrived (never arrived). This friend is super reliable so I don't doubt her at all. But this meant we felt we needed to chase the outstanding rsvps. We sent one message only to each person. One of OH's uncles still hasn't replied and if he does now then it's tough.

As for your OH's uncle, well it's his choice when he holidays. Clearly that is a higher priority to him than attending your wedding and he is perfectly within his rights to do so. An invite is just that, it is not a summons.

Don't get stressed over stuff outside your control. There's going to be plenty of more stuff to get wound up over - you could drive yourself mad.

Our RSVP date is tomorrow and am still waiting for quite a few responses. We deliberately put a date that was quite early so that I had the opportunity to chase without putting stress on myself. I took the view that immediate family and the bridal party were definitely coming so didn't chase them at all for the replies.

I would wait until your deadline has passed (if it hasn't already) and then just send a gentle reminder.

I certainly wouldn't stress about OH uncle, its his choice if he has booked a holiday.

x

This was very similar to my experience. I am always so surprised about how lazy and rude people are about sending RSVP's

Perfectly normal for people to leave their replies until the last minute. Also, I wouldn't even bother chasing until your deadline has passed - it just gets people's backs up and then they'll leave it even longer.

Playing devil's advocate though, is it likely that your parents and sister won't come? I joked with my family about giving me RSVPs but didn't really expect them - they're family - of course they're coming!

Also, just a gentle reminder that while your wedding is your sole focus and incredibly important to you, it isn't the same for your guests. The uncle wasn't thinking about your wedding when he booked his holiday, he was just thinking about booking a holiday.

You didn't say when your deadline is, has it already passed? If so I would just ring round the ones that haven't replied, that's what we did. It's annoying but you will always get some that don't reply. Also you don't need RSVPs from close family, surely it is a given that they are coming? I never had RSVPs from my parents or brother for example.

The deadline isn't until the end of August. I'm just being paranoid I think and over thinking it. Saying that, I did get an RSVP today. Yay

You chose your deadline date for a reason - it's not worth worrying about people that haven't replied yet until that date has been and gone! If you wanted earlier replies, you should have put an earlier date! Please dont stress - there's enough of that in other areas of wedding planning ha ha!

We didn't want to wait long so only gave people a small window (about 2 months!) It worked - all replied and no drama!

I think you need to try and forget about this until the deadline. I personally always RSVP as soon as I can, even before I started planning my own wedding. But some people will just always leave it until the last moment (if not beyond) for things like this. Do your parents need to RSVP? I would take that as a given unless you require menu choices to be made in advance. My mother is very put out at the thought of being 'invited' to her own daughter's wedding, and has made it very clear that she doesn't want an invitation in that sense, but will have one 'as a keepsake' ?

What gets me is when people know they can't come, but don't bother to let you know.

Our evening invite deadline was yesterday, OH made a few calls and six people immediately said no we can't make it. If they had bothered to tell us we could have sent invites to the reserve people. I now don't think I can do that as the RSVP deadline is on the invite so very obvious they were a last minute replacement.

How would you react if you got an invite with the RSVP date crossed out and a new one in less than two weeks written in?

We have looooooads of evening ones who haven't responded but not too fussed about them, we have a hog roast big enough for them and if they don't turn up and food is left, we will just freeze or give it away.

We have just the 1 day person to reply yet - my OH's cousin. I have messaged her about 3 times on facebook which she has just ignored but did tell her mum she was coming. Unfortunately she doesn't have a good relationship with her mum right now so we aren't happy to take her word for it. Our deadline was today, so I posted on her facebook wall the other day and said if we don't hear from you by Wednesday (today) your place will go to someone else. Probably sounds really harsh but we only have 20 places so would be gutted if there was an empty seat! I think it's rude, especially as when I look at the messenger on facebook, it always says she has recently been active! I just hope she doesn't just turn up, I wont be very welcoming if she does, I might even tell her to go down the pub for a few hours and come back later haha - not sure how that'll go down with OH's family but I don't really care to be honest, my OH didn't want her to come anyway, he wanted to give the place to someone else but felt had no choice because his Aunt made a point of checking her kids were invited!!!

We had no issues with day guests but still haven't heard from quite a few evening guests. RSVP date was 2.5 weeks ago. It's tricky because we have 82 confirmed but maybe another 20-30 who haven't replied and we pay per head for buffet. I suspect we will just make an educated guess when we meet the venue next month.