Rsvp's

The problem with that is that someone may have sent you an RSVP that didn't reach you. Or your invite may not have reached them. And you won't know unless you check.

You don't want someone turning up at your wedding because they sent an RSVP you didn't receive, only to find there is no place for them!

With post issues / emails going into junk folders etc (not sure how you did your invites!) they may not have received it or sent back the RSVP and you haven’t received it. I definitely think it’s worth chasing people, particularly people you really want there! They may also have thought they’d responded and got caught up in life and they’d be gutted if you didn’t mention anything and they could no longer go.

We're going to be sending one reminder out to everyone to make sure they they're aware, then if they don't RSVP in time they won't be there on the day

I’d say it’s a bit harsh, yes. People have lives and various demands put on them by family, friends, jobs, and all the other things people have to juggle with. We had an issue with a few of ours who hadn’t clicked “Submit” on the webpage form, as they didn’t see it (incl. my MoH!). We’d have totally missed those people (except my MoH who I knew was definitely coming), if we hadn’t asked them, and they’d have thought they were totally fine.


We sent a general email prompt halfway through to all guests who hadn’t RSVP’d by that point (that cleared up most of those with the “submit” button confusion), and then chased the last few people individually on the last few days (incl. my FH’s brother!).

We had 1 who hadn’t received their invitation, and 2 who sent their RSVP but it got lost in the post, so I would say the best thing is to chase those you haven’t heard from as the deadline approaches. By doing that I also had one person let me know that they had suffered a bereavement, so they were coming but the RSVP completely slipped their mind.

If you don’t hear anything after one round of chasing then I’d drop them, though.

I agree with what others have said. I think it’s worthwhile doing one chaser as people may have replied but it’s been lost, bereavement, etc. x

I wouldn’t say harsh but I would check. My work colleague got married last June and she didn’t receive a bunch of RSVPs from family and close friends. When she called/messaged them they said Ofcourse we are coming we didn’t think we would have to reply. So maybe do an earlier RSVP date on the invitations and then message them if they haven’t replied, but make the actual RSVP cut off for yourself a week or 2 later if that makes sense? No reply, then they’re not coming!

Hey, I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from, and I can be very similar! And yes it is a bit harsh but I understand why you feel that way, it's a big deal planning a wedding and you only want people there who genuinely want to be there and who respect you enough to get back to you ASAP / by the date you ask them to. As I would do the same for them, ie treat people how you wish to be treated xx

My fiance has mellowed me a bit LOL and I agree with the other comments. I was a bit upset that one of my friends in Canada hadn't even acknowledged our 'save the date' card from a couple of months ago. I've known him a good 20 years! But rather than getting hung up about it (and I think this will vary depending on who it is and how well you know them and how much you want them there!) I texted him last night and got a reply: "i have 3 weddings to go to this year so just trying to see how I can make it all work" - LOL and just to say, I wouldn't expect him to come over from Canada just for us, he comes over many times a year anyway and is somewhere in the process of moving to London and has family here so was hoping he could fit it with one of his business trips not come specially!

So I agree with all the others, do one chase. We haven't even got our formal invites out yet as we are waiting for a few last details re transport - we are going to say RSVP by June 7th, and cut off date for catering is June 15th Wedding is July 15 - so we will have a week to chase people. And if they don't respond to the chase, then they're not coming far as we are concerned. xx