Sabatouers

Sounds like your sister is someone who enjoys attention, and doesn't like the fact that all the attention is on your for a change. I think if it were me I would sit her down and tell her how important it is to you that she is at your wedding, that you like her to be around on x, y days and come up with reasons, e.g to have a drink and giggle with you sat night and be ready to help with dress etc sun morning just so she knows why she is needed. And then to be honest, I would ask my parents to reinforce what you've said to her, but then leave her to it. If she goes awol, that is entirely her problem, and shouldnt ruin your wedding by meaning a handful of people going looking for her and not being there for you. Good luck!

Not a minute issue at all. FEEL Free to rant and do not apologise. She sounds like a spoilt brat with issues. Sorry to speak so harshly of your sister but wow! I thought mine was bad (a bigger bridezilla than me and not even her wedding day!) just concentrate on your day and if she misses it that's her problem. You need to speak to your dad and tell him your worries and tell him if she goes missing then just wait until the day is over. My goodness poor you!

Thanks both for your replies. I am a little calmer now

I will try and speak to her but knowing her as well as I do she will act all hard done by because I am trying to ruin her plans. I really am hoping dad will listen to reason and stop her from doing it. It's not that I don't want her to celebrate, but she has the weekend before if she really wants it on a weekend.

I think it's your dad who you need to get under control. You know what your sister is going to do, so let her do it. If she misses the wedding laid up drunk at a mates then that could be a blessing in disguise. You need to make sure your dad isn't dragged into it by going to look for her.

I 100% agree with this. Your dad won't want to take sides, but I agree with Paula, being around for your wedding has to take priority.

Given she is re-arranging this from last year and has a pick of 2 weekends, it does sound more sensible for her to do it the weekend before - you could try badging it as wanting to make sure she gets plenty of attention for her birthday?

Hopefully these two arguments will help, but I don't envy you the situation - good luck.

I agree that she seems to be seeking attention and if that is the case, then she most absolutely will go out and get drunk and go missing, because by doing that, she will get lots of attention and be taking the spotlight off you. As PP said, sit her down, tell her you really want her there and that if she decides she doesnt want to be there or that she would rather go out drinking, then that is her decision, but you will accept it and you won't send anyone out to find her and she will simply miss it.

I know you want your sister there and your parents do too, but she is a big girl, although a little immature in my opinion, and if she wants to miss her sister's wedding because she wants to celebrate her 18th birthday, at 19 (why does it have to be the same weekend as your wedding, it was a year ago, surely the date doesnt have to be precise), then that is her choice and when she does grow up, she will majorly regret it.

For your MIL - don't tell her anything - if she badges you tell her false information then she can dislike that!

As regard to the sister boy she sounds like a pleasure to deal with! I definately agree it's not her to concern yourself with what she will do or where she will be - you can explain in advance its important that she is there but don't force her hand but you need to get your dad on side - I would actually go one further (I may be presuming wrong sorry if I am) maybe speak to your sisters mum about it as she is the one who ends up calling your dad? With the statement of if this does happen and your really hoping it doesn't can she please arrange a different way of sorting it out on this one occassion as it's very important that your Dad is there on your special day just like it would be important to your sister on her special day....

My sister is a complete a*sehole. Like your sister, she is very selfish and expects the whole world to revolve around her. She goes out of her way to put me down in front of others and try to humiliate me in public. She beat me to a pulp on my 21st birthday because we weren't going to a restaurant she wanted to go to and she ruined the whole thing.

I haven't spoken to her for 2 years (we're in our mid 30s now) and my life is so much better without her in it. I'm obviously not inviting her to our wedding but I have a feeling she will gatecrash and ruin it; totally wouldn't surprise me at all.

I hope you don't have to put up with that. Perhaps a word with your dad about it all would help? If that falls on deaf ears maybe just completely exclude her? If she doesn't come she can't ruin anything. I know that's harsh but might be necessary.

WOW! just...wow! How spoiled and selfish!

I agree with above posts re asking your dad not to go looking for her if she does go awol and also talking to her mum to try and minimise disruption to your day. Why would your dad have his phone on him during the ceremony? Can you agree with him that it stays in his room or switched off until after the meal? Then he can fuss about if he wants to look for her but by then your evening guests will be arriving and you wont be as bothered as you will be distracted with that?

At the end of the day you want to remember this day as being incredible and if she is really going to cause so much fuss - do you really want her there?

xx