sacked bridesmaid

Oh heck.

In my opinion the bride shouldnt have asked you to buy anything until the other BMs were sure of their shoes. No point buying one if you cant get the rest. No point saying yes if the others dont agree. No point encouraging you if the others dont know...etc etc etc, so I think she's being unreasonable.

as far as the wedding goes. Send a card. Show you're not bearing any grudges. Keep it simple, wish them the best on their wedding day and then let her deal with the aftermath of a ruined friendship on her return from HM.

Its a pity, its a shame you are being outcast for being 'soooo unreasonable' but I'm sorry, she is the unreasonable one if all you say is the whole story.

Or, be a total beatch and turn up to the reception in THE dress and the shoes as a guest! (insert evil cackle here)........ Cough.

OMG i really dont know what to say, i think maybe stress does play a part but by the sounds of it this isnt a one off, I can understand her wanting things to be 'just so' but this time maybe she has gone ott especialy as the wedding is so close, maybe she should have sourced the shoes in the first place!

This does all seem a bit unreasonable to me but as far as advising you where to go from here i really dont know sorry x

I'ts probably all down to last minute nerves and she's probably as upset about it as you are. It's not something to sort on the phone, so if you were good friends then go round and see her and find out if she still wants you to be a BM or not, or if it was just heat of the moment

She does seem to be being unreasonable, I would expect her to understand about money being tight if she's organising a wedding so she should be a bit more sympathetic. She might be totally stressed with the day being so close so it might be worth talking to her but tbh I wouldn't expect bms to pay for everything themselves. There is a chance that all my bms aren't going to be wearing the same shoes although they will be similar styles, I want them to be comforable but also to match IYSWIM.

Hope you can work it out

Hands up anyone who has ever looked at bridesmaids and then thought "how dreadful, their shoes don't match - they're not even similar".

Utterly ridiculous. I let my BMs choose their own shoes - one likes killer heels, the other doesn't. Who am I to force them to wear shoes they don't like/are uncomfortable in all day.

Well done you for sticking to your guns - the bride was being ridiculous. Do you want to go to the wedding?

WHAT???????????

Who cares what shoes you wear (my brother wore converse when he was usher at my sister's wedding, and looking wicked!)

Has the bride not seen all the wonderful wedding pictures of bridesmaids wearing different style dresses and shoes?!

Well done for sticking to your guns. Go to the wedding with your head held high, and if anyone asks why you are no longer bridesmaid you can simple say 'my shoes didnt match.'

Things are often said in haste (or text....darn those mobile phones)....stress makes us act out of character.

Send her a nice card wishing her a lovely day.....then the ball is in her court not yours. Life is too short to fall out....but the odd disagreement or cross word said in the heat of the moment is part of human nature i'm afraid.

I would say that yes she is being completely unreasonable. You have payed for your own dress, a pair of shoes which she encouraged you to buy. I think she is taking the mick I really do. Surely she cant expect anymore from you.

I would send her a card at least you know then that you have done all you can really and if she wants to throw away your friendship then thats down to her x

In my opinion she should be really grateful that you've all paid for everything yourselves, she is being completely unreasonable asking you to buy another pair of shoes! Bridezilla of the year! I'm usually the first to say you should try to make friends but to be honest it doesn't sound like she knows she's in the wrong here and you probably wouldn't get anywhere!

WTeeheeS

Especially

That would be brilliant! I would definately do this and make sure you mention that you're not a bridesmaid as your shoes don't match!

(God we're evil!)

OMG sounds like a serious case of Bridezilla to me!!

I dont think you were being unreasonable at all, my bridesmaid all had different shoes as I asked them to pay for them as i went totally over budget on thier dresses, they were happy to but something they could wear again too.

Send a card and wish her a happy life & good luck to her husband ?

SJ x

Hi there, do you know what i commend you for your post, you have written it so elequantly (spelling?) and have come across as incredibly grown up, mature, calmly and understanding...if it was me in your shoes i would have been ranting, raving and calling bride to be every name under the sun...and i wish i could have your calm manner with things.

i think what your 'friend' has done is extemeley cruel and unneccessary imo, i wouldnt be able to afford things only to be told that because of something that doesnt really matter that my hard earned money has been wasted...but as EES send a card, and then review your friendship with this girl as it doesnt really seem that valued from her end.

hugs to you if you need them x