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Karisma
Savvy March 2023 Kent

Save the dates

Karisma, 23 November, 2021 at 01:50 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 5
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Hi everyone, I’m having a bit of a headache predicting the stress that will inevitably come from my family!


We are having a small wedding of 50 guests, so this means some members of our family’s will not make the cut as a daytime guest. We are going to send our save the dates out soon and I know it is only customary to send save the dates out to guests invited to the whole day. I’m pretty sure that soon as they go out, some of my family members who didn't get one will be annoyed and asking questions. They can be quite rowdy!
Has anyone dealt with anything like this? I was thinking to send a short message in the family groupchat before sending them out to let them know that some of them will be reception only. Or should I make up and “send save the evening” invites so they know they are not left out?

5 replies

Latest activity by Charlotte, 23 November, 2021 at 20:21
  • Hayley
    Rockstar September 2022 Norfolk
    Hayley ·
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    We sent some save the evenings at the same time as our save the dates. These were to family members, basically for the reason you say. We did not send save the evenings to all evening guests, just family. Hope that helps.
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  • Karisma
    Savvy March 2023 Kent
    Karisma ·
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    Thanks Hayley,


    I’ll do some save the evenings 😊
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  • C
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    We had the same thing, we made the cut off at aunts and uncles as adding cousins in was another 35 people! We set up a whatsapp group a week after we sent the save the dates and explain that due to budget and venue capacity we sadly couldnt include everyone in the day that we would like but we would love to have them celebrate in the evening. Most people responded to say they understood as many had also recently got married so knew the difficulties. Is a hard one but you have to do what you want and no one should expect an invite, or get stroppy if they don't.
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  • Karisma
    Savvy March 2023 Kent
    Karisma ·
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    Cousins is the big issue for me also. I have decided to go with Aunts, Uncles and the cousins in my age group that I grew up with. I’m hoping my older cousins understand and see where I’m coming from as being 10-15years older than me we were never close I didn’t even speak to some of them really.


    I just have a feeling someone is going to get arsey 😂
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  • C
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    Family's are a nightmare, I don't see my extended family other than funerals or the odd wedding and in honesty I don't really like them! Apart from 1 but I felt it had to be all or none to avoid argumens so have not invited her. 2 have kids I have never met so was easy for us. I think your reasoning is good but be prepared for kick back but is your wedding so stick to your guns x
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