Save the dates - how early is too early?

What we did was invite anyone who is a no brainer as soon as we had the date - very immediate family (parents, siblings), wedding party or would-have-been wedding party if we had bigger groups.

Then about a year in advance aim to send the rest of the save the dates to the bulk of your guest list (this gives you time to think about who is really close to you, how you want to approach plus ones, how extended you want to go with families) - we've just done this stage, it's more complicated than you might think and I'm so glad we didn't just gung ho invite people as soon as we had the date!

We've kept back a couple of spaces that we'll send out with the formal invites about 5months in advance, basically just in case we're suddenly super close to new friends or if some single wedding party have serious other halves that we'd want to include.

Crucial piece of advice - you and fiancé each write down your absolute must have people (basically people you'd be in tears if they couldn't come level and also including any of their serious partners here) and also anyone that you'd be quite happy to just have on the B or even C list and compare these. It helps show you how big your must have list actually is (for us it filled over half the spots!), and for us showed that we both felt like extended family wasn't a priority over friends which then helped us manage expectations and get ahead of people assuming so and so will be invited. You might be the opposite, or might have differing views you need to work through, but either way it's useful to know for yourselves as it can be so easy to accidently imply someone is going to get an invite when people get exited asking about the wedding - and you want to be able to make that decision yourselves rather than invite someone out of awkwardness or obligation.

Hope that helps!

View quoted message Thank you for your response,
So because we have a 50 guest limit for ceremony and 80 for evening we've had no problem choosing and we've already decided both and even the tables they're say at- providing they can attend etc. We're very happy with the list its just knowing when to invite with save the dates 🥰

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To be honest with you, we were the same initially.. 50 guests and had them all planned out complete with seating chart straight away! Buuuut, we hit the brakes and just invited the key people to start with (about 30).

It's really paid off. For example, 6 months later I realised one of my colleagues (who was a fairly new friend when we got engaged) had fast become a best friend and wouldn't have been on the initial list - I would have been gutted if I was sat here hoping someone would decline so I could invite her instead!

Obviously, your original 50 may wind up being the 50! I'd say 40-42 or so of ours still made our list a year out, but I'm so grateful that we took the time to really think about it even though 18+ months in advance we were feeling like you are now.

For context, save the dates typically go out about 9 months in advance so a year in advance is still plenty of time and no one is going to feel like they were invited late if it's a whole year in advance. We were the same as you though and didn't want to be much shorter than a year because we know people make holiday plans and our venue requires travelling for everyone.

Of course, your wedding = your rules, but thought I'd share especially as it sounds like we've had very similar situations!

We sent ours out with about 20 months to go tbh. It didn’t even occur to me that people didn’t do that until I started reading wedding forums because I have received save the dates 2 years in advance myself. I justify it now because we are getting married Easter weekend so people might have plans but honestly we aren’t that sociable so I can’t see our guest list changing 😂

I’m currently in the same position - with 22 months to go but due to work commitments especially with most our evening guests being from work too we wanted to get ahead early.


I think sending them out now would be okay - but I would separate these into day / evening. So I’d send the day guests now as these people are unlikely to change if you’re thinking they’re the type of people you want to watch you get married! And then maybe in another 6-8 months to come send the evening save the dates? I would however refrain from providing a location on them incase anything does change. Then around 12 months before the actual wedding provide an actual invitation.
Hope this makes sense. X

View quoted message Yes I think I may send them soon ish 🥰 most of our 50 ceremony guests are family and very close friends from work etc and I have separate invites for reception guest- hobbycraft are great for providing these! Then we are personalising formal invites later on 🥰 eek exciting. I'm having to refrain from going full on bridezilla ha!

View quoted message You can make mine too if you want! 🤣

View quoted message Haha brilliant, good luck with all your planning 🥰

We aren't getting married until April 2024 and I am an eager beaver and have sent out my save the dates as fridge magnets already. Mainly because of our guests booking time off work

View quoted message I needed someone to say this 😂 that gives me the get go lol x

Just ordered my Save the Dates over the weekend. Should be arriving within a week. Hopefully send them out next week. Our wedding is in about 9 months time. I'm going to send the majority of them out. We have 50 guests in total. Will send out 30 odd and keep back a few. Partner hasn't decided on all of his guests yet.