Second thoughts changing my surname?

I don't want to completely get rid of my surname either but I also can't double barrel it as my first name is double barrelled so it would look ridiculous. I have no particular connection to my surname apart from the fact that it goes really well with my double barrelled first name I'm going to keep my surname as my middle name so it will still be there, and that makes me feel a bit happier things!

I think all names that aren't the one you're used to sound strange at first but if you do decide to double barrel it then Richards-Stephens will eventually feel so completely normal to you xx

View quoted message Thank you so much for your thoughts! Does Richards-Stephens sound completely naf though?! They are both old man sort of vibes! I think you keeping your surname as a middle is a great idea, best of both xx

View quoted message

Absolutely not, it doesn't sound naff at all! I think Honey makes it less old man-ny, and also, people will get used to it!! It would take a while even if you just changed it to Stephens but then eventually it'll just become second nature and that will be your name. I say if you really want to double barrel then go for it, people will get used to it a lot quicker than you think xx

I had the same thoughts as you! Originally was going to take FH's name, but then just felt I couldn't lose my name! I initially thought mine sounded a bit of a mouthful but then I thought about all the famous people who's names are a bit of a mouthful but actually they rock it and you don't even think about it - Helena Bonham Carter, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Sophie Ellis Bextor...

For me, I prefer the look without the hyphen as I also debated moving my surname into my middle name as another way not to lose it, but it's defintiely going to stay as an official last name now. So with or without the hyphen is an option for you if that makes any difference to you.

I've also said I'm happy for future kids to just have FH's name, and maybe my family name goes in as their middle names, and that if socially I get referred to just as Mrs HisLastname then that's totally fine, but legally and professionally I'm going to have both my name and his.

Hope that helps a bit

It’s difficult isn’t it - for me, I feel a strong emotional connection to my last name as my dad was so proud of it and he is no longer with us, and also because when I was younger I was a bit embarrassed of it but as an adult have really grown to love and respect it. So as ridiculous as it sounds, I feel like I’ve been on a bit of a journey with my last name.

My FH’s name is objectively lovely, however when it is said quickly it sounds very rude, which is fine when I say it because I say it properly, but… I am a teacher. Teenagers would mock me mercilessly if I took that surname to work with me!

So I am going to compromise. Legally I am taking my FH’s name - I’ll learn to love it the same way I learned to love my own name. But professionally I’ll continue to use my current surname. So I’m keeping that name alive, but legally I’ll be the same as my husband and any future children.

There's definitely nothing wrong with your combined first name. Go for it!

I also don't know what to do! I had said for years that I couldn't wait to one day share a last name, but now I'm not sure what to do? Because my fiance is Polish, even if I take his last name, the endings of our last name will be different, for male and female. I've been told that lots of people/companies etc just cannot get their head around this, and it can be a bit of a nightmare! If we have children in the future, I'll definitely want the same last name as them though!

View quoted message AmesLou, if the important thing to you is "sharing a last name", have you & your partner thought about him taking your surname? Or both changing your surnames to something new and significant to you as a couple? I know it's not as traditional as the wife taking the husband's name, but I'm a big stickler for the idea of "your wedding, your rules".

View quoted message I’d love him to take my name, but he’s set on his and won’t change it! As he’s last in line to have the name, so it’s extremely important to him. Otherwise, I’d want it my way! Haha

View quoted message

This is definitely something to consider, although I don't think he would take my last name either! Lots to think about!

Can you move your maiden name to your middle name, so it’s still there but you don’t need to declare it all the time If that makes sense x