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Beginner March 2013

Sending an invite to the Vicar??

Alice_In_Wonderland, 7 December, 2012 at 12:54 Posted on Planning 0 9

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Hi all

For those of you getting married in church, will you be/have you sent an invite to the vicar?? ?

OH's sister gave us a lovely book when we got engaged, with loads of info in about planning a wedding. It's very nice, and has proven useful a few times, but to my mind is a little twee & old-fashioned.
Anyway, in the section about invitations, it mentions that it's is "usual" to invite the vicar & his wife... really??!!
I mean, they'll be there anyway won't they?! (The vicar's wife is also the organist) - it's not like we can say, oh revd, please officiate our wedding but you're not invited...?!! ?

Also, I assume it doesn't mean to the wedding breakfast etc as well?? (I hope not as we haven't got any space for them! ☹️)
And, if so, how does one politely invite them to the ceremony but nothing else?!

Help!!!!

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9 replies

Latest activity by Fergo, 12 December, 2012 at 16:35

Beginner May 2013
bexjoe · 7 December, 2012 at 12:58
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I am getting married in a Catholic church and did not even consider giving our Priest an invite to the reception. We are having ours at 7pm on a boat about an hour away from the church (morning wedding ceremony) so it didn't cross my mind even.
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overtherainbow · 7 December, 2012 at 13:39
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Can't honestly say I've ever heard of this unless, of course, he/she is a family friend or you REALLY wanted them there. We didn't invite ours anyway!
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Beginner
Simon and Alison · 7 December, 2012 at 14:15
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There's been a few weddings we've photographed where the vicar has been at the reception, but it's more when he / she is a family friend I think.

No need to send them an invite to the ceremony as they'll be there anyway - would have thought that only applies if you wanted to invite them to the reception.

Ali
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Beginner March 2013
Alice_In_Wonderland · 7 December, 2012 at 14:45
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Well, he knows my mum but I wouldn't say he was a family frfiend!

*crosses vicar off of reserve-invite list* ? phew!

Thanks for the advice!
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Beginner September 2012
porkchop · 7 December, 2012 at 15:17
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We did, as we like him and know him quite well. We were surprised when he said it was the first invitation he'd ever had!! So I guess it isnt what people do.
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Beginner April 2013
roo2605 · 11 December, 2012 at 21:24
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We're inviting our priest to the whole thing but that's more as he's a friend of OH's family
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Beginner December 2012
Foote2c · 11 December, 2012 at 23:11
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My vicar and his wife are coming to the whole day but only cos he's my dad!
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Beginner October 2013
Irisbride · 12 December, 2012 at 13:19
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I went to OH's cousin in september and the vicar came to the reception. The couple aren't local so wouldn't have thought they were close to her, but she may be friends with the parents or something. I think this was quite commonly done in the past, and my parent's invited the priest to the reception. I guess it may have been different back then, as church parishes and communities played a bigger role in day to day living. We are having a catholic wedding, and as we have got to know the priest quite well through our marriage preparation etc, we will probably invite him to the reception. However, I would be quite happy if he said no as he wouldn't know anyone there!
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Beginner July 2013
Flukey35 · 12 December, 2012 at 13:19
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It traditional to invite the Vicar to the wedding breakfast, I've even been to a couple of Irish weddings where the Vicar has been on the top table, I assume they were family friends.

You don't need to invite the Vicar to the church as they will already be there, the invite, if issued at all, is for the wedding breakfast & festivities afterwords.

x
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