Sending Save The Dates

We have family overseas, America and Australia being the furthest, we get married in April 2018. We have sent the information to our overseas guests but not to any UK guests, they will gets their's in April. Our furthest away UK guests are in London around 4hrs drive from us, my thoughts are that trains can only be booked three months in advance and most job's holiday allowances are over 12 month periods so if they need time off they will have plenty of notice. I've been told there is such a thing as too much notice.

Hope that helps x

I would say a year before for the save the dates is about right. We sent ours out 18 months before which was too early for us, there are people we haven't heard from since but found ourselves in the awkward position of feeling like we still had to invite them but we really aren't fussed about having them there. Maybe if the dynamics allow it, you could just send some people's STDs and hold back on any you may change your mind about...

I would advise holding off as long as possible- seriously- we sent out our Save The Date's a year in advance, partly because I was impatient to 'do' something, and partly because I was concerned about those coming from a distance and my nursing/shift work friends having plenty of notice for time off.

It was a mistake to be honest- no one really knows what they are doing a year in advance so most people just ignored them, and we changed our minds significantly about certain people who we had sent them to and really didn't want them at the wedding after all- things can change a LOT in six months- relationships break up, friends 'forget' to keep in touch and people fall out... not to mention budgets changing due to unexpected expenses and guest lists having to be massively cut!

If I was in your position, I would probably just talk to those people you are absolutely certain will be on the guest list - family members perhaps- and tell them your date and ask them to bear it in mind. I certainly wouldn't send out save the dates more than a year in advance, and given my time again, I'd probably send mine between 6 and 8 months in advance at most.

I sent my invites four months to the day before the wedding- I decided on this as it this gave those on 12 week shift runs chance to request or book the time off, and those who needed to book transport and accommodation plenty of time to do so... but I didn't think it was so far in advance that people would think they had plenty of time and just 'forget' to RSVP.... but I still had several people tell me we were 'far too bloody organised' and that they couldn't possibly tell us that far in advance.... now I'm chasing people for replies, particularly the day guests who need to choose their food!

It's a difficult call to make, but my main advice would be do not send a save the date to anyone that you are not 100% sure you want to be there!!

We booked our venue June '16 and we get married Nov '17 so about 18 months in advance. 'Controversially' we didn't send save the dates - we debated it for a while but we decided in the end that it was an added expense that we didn't see as necessary. We just told people the date instead and took the attitude that if people really want to come they would make a note of it! We sent our day invites last week which gives people plenty of notice, and book hotel rooms etc. Evening invites will follow once we've had RSVP's back.

In the 6 months or so from when we originally drafted our guest list to actually sending the invites, some names did change so be mindful of that!

We got engaged last February, & had booked the venue & date by March I think - I sent out some save the dates a few weeks later as we have lots of people coming from overseas, & shift workers etc. But we did stick to family & very close friends & as a result we've not had any awkwardness with not wanting to invite those people to the actual wedding.

Our invites went out after Christmas (& we still have some to hand out / send now), for our mid-June wedding - we need to let our caterers know numbers quite early on for their staffing numbers etc, hence slightly earlier than some. We've got a lot of people still to chase after the RSVP date passes in a few weeks!

We sent out save the dates a year in advance, however, we told close family (and those overseas) the date verbally about 18 months before. We live in a tourist spot though, and our wedding is during peak holiday season, so our save the dates had hotel details (well our website did and the STDs had the address on).

We sent our invites out last week, but have a return date of 24th April as we wanted enough time to chase people.

I would say a year is perfect, before people start booking their holidays etc..

I just sent our save the dates recently and we are getting married in September. I wouldn't send them out more than a year in advance. Everyone is travelling to our wedding, some from the USA and Spain but no one lives locally to our venue. Our hotel does rooms at special prices for guests though and they are reserved up until 1 month before the wedding so there's no stress of finding best deals at local hotels. x

We sent our save the dates, just to day guests, a year before. Invites got sent just over 4 months before. 3 weeks to RSVP deadline and we haven;'t had many back. x

Me either Miss Conduct - I reckon around 20 of the 70 evening invites have RSVPed yet with two weeks to go...!

It's so annoying isn't it Chapples! 18/66 day and 22/101 for evening.... I foresee some phone calls to chase people.

So frustrating! All they need is to buy a stamp or send an email! ?

Thank you for all your replies ? I just wanted a second opinion (or should I say third) and I am very organised but I don't want to send them too early and they just get forgotten about, but also don't want to leave it too late. The majority of our guest list is family so I don't really see it changing too much between now and sending them out but I'll bear that in mind too ? X

I put stamps on the provided RSVP envelopes...which already had the address printed on them...and all the RSVP's needed was a couple of ticks... STILL haven't had all the day ones back with a week to go and well over 1/2 the evening ones still to come back too!

What really gets me is that people seem to think that if they aren't coming they don't need to even acknowledge the invite let alone send the card back!!