*Sensitive* Marie Stopes Clinic

? hope you are OK.

Years ago I had an NHS medical abortion. It was horrible. Should I ever be in that position again, I would pay for a private clinic. I'm sure there's no such thing as a nice termination, but being treated without judgement would have been nice.

I also wouldn't choose the medical option (tablet rather than op) but I'm not sure whether that's helpful. I know it's not an answer to your question, but I'd be happy to talk to you if you would find it helpful.

Please make sure you get a good counsellor to talk things over with; I didn't and it caused me unnecessary upset and regret.

I'm sure someone will be along in a moment who can give better advice than I can; I've always found Hitched (both OT and BT, surprisingly) to be wonderfully supportive and non judgemental in these cases. I only wish it had been around 15 years ago.

I'll echo exactly what Clairy said

I've had both a medical and a surgical termination, and I'd never have a medical again - it was a horrible experience

Hope you're ok.

Just to echo what Clairy said - there have been similar questions asked on BT before and answered compassionately without judgement.

We use Marie Stopes for our NHS terminations - there's really no need to pay to go private these days. Patient comes in, I sign a form, give them it, they ring maries Stopes, and get booked in within a few days - exactly the same care as paying patients. Worth asking your GP what the NHS service is like.

Hi from a lurker!

I think we're in the same area going by your reply to Zoe's firework thread.

I was referred by my GP to the Marie Stopes clinic in Maidstone and opted for a surgical termination earlier this year. I was treated really well and would recommend the clinic.

Do ask if you want any more details.

Different circumstances but I have had a marie stopes private termination and a NHS one. The private one was for "social" reasons and was "easy" in terms of that's what they do and they make it as easy as possible. I had one where I was in and out within a morning, no general. I think that was around 9 weeks maybe earlier. I paid as I thought it would be faster and simplier, but I would do as Rache said and see your doctor and see how your local nhs is. Emotionally and physically it was fine, a relief when it was over.
My NHS one was due to baby abnormalities and was at 14 weeks and was under a general. Again I was in and out in a day but it was a bit more traumatic emotionally.

Both times staff treated me amazingly well and I cannot fault the care.

I had a termination at a Marie Stopes clinic in central London 8 years ago. It was a horrible time, obviously, but they were very good indeed. Kind and completely non-judgmental. They did warn me that there might be protesters outside though, there weren't on the day but I was a bit worried about it.

I had a termination about 7 years ago at a Marie Stopes clinic in bristol.

As echoed by others, it was not the best time in my life but they treated me with kindness, respect and understanding. feel free to PM if you want to discuss it in detail.

I went there privately as I did not want to go through my GP ( although they did have to send him a follow-up letter afterwards in case I had any issues)

x

I had a private surgical termination in the Marie Stopes clinic in Brixton, about 10 years ago. It was fine, not exactly fun obviously but over quickly and the staff were reasonably kind.

My friend had a termination last week at the same clinic, but was referred there by her GP so didn't have to pay. She also found it okay and said that she was given conscious sedation and can't really remember the procedure, which is something that wasn't offered to me.

Hi, I normally post on WP but I saw your post and had to reply.

I had a termination about a year ago and went through the Marie Stopes in Bristol, I was very early, six weeks and was given the option of medical or surgical. I chose surgical with conscious sedation, through the procedure I was drowsy but awake. It is never an easy choice to make (a huge understatement I know) but the staff at Marie Stopes are kind, non-judgemental and attentive to your needs. After the procedure I was given one of those microwavable blankets and endless cups of tea and biscuits.

I would recommend visiting the Marie Stopes website, they have all the information you will need and fact sheets. I arranged my termination using their 24 hour helpline, the woman I spoke too was sensitive and very clear about my options and with her information.

I decided to go private as I work for the NHS and know many people in the maternity wards, but I would recommend seeing if your GP can refer you to Marie Stopes as I feel that they can give you the care and attention that you will need during this time.

And finally a ? as I know how difficult this decision is.

I had a termination at Marie Stopes in Manchester about 9 years ago. I'm happy to talk about it privately if you want to PM me.

I went with a friend who had one at the leeds one. she had the surgical option.

as everyone said it wasn't the most pleasant experience but the staff were very kind and non judgemental

hope you're ok ?

If you need to talk you know where I am ?

I had a surgical termination at Marie Stopes through the NHS. Obviously not a nice experience in general but I found them to be lovely and made it as comfortable as possible

Happy to talk through pm if you want

Hope you are ok x

Thanks to everyone for your replies - I couldn't respond today from the office as all internet activity is monitored!

I feel like a bit of an idiot to be honest, 30 years old, married blah blah blah but still considering something that society seems to think is reserved for teenagers and good time girls!!

All of your posts have helped me to feel a little more relaxed about the Marie Stopes clinic and I think I will book an appointment, either way husband and I have loadsssssss to talk about this weekend.

My post is no longer relevant. Don't feel silly - lots of people in different situations find themselves there.

Croyde - as others have said, plenty of girls on BT have been through it - so don't feel judged and unable to post there. Just wanted to add that I have had the medical option 'the abortion pill', and I'm happy to talk to you in any detail about that process, and what it was like for me. Just letting you know, as it seems people here are saying it was awful, and most seem to have had surgical. My situation was different, it was a planned pregnancy and the medical option followed a missed miscarriage - so my reason for choosing the medical option was very much related to that, and emotionally needing to go through it 'naturally'. That obviously is a very personal decision. In your situation, probably I'd choose surgical too. But if you do want to talk about it, as I say - happy to give you any info or level of detail you want - I'm OK to talk about it.

? - don't forget, if you want to talk anyone on here afterwards, it won't matter if that's on BT.

I too had a medical abortion at 8+6 after the coil failed. My H and I had only been together for 3 months when we decided that it was the right option. I had the medical abortion and it is not an experience that I would ever wish to repeat or wish on anyone else. So much so that for the last 4 years I have been paranoid about getting pregnant and I chart obsessively now. Even though I do not regret our decision, the psychological impact of the abortion itself was far too much to cope with. If I was in that situation again I would have a surgical termination.

In hindsight both the medical and surgical terminations should have been explained and neither were. The experience was probably made even harder by a lack of knowledge and what to expect. When you go to the clinic ask them to discuss both options. I am happy to let you know what happens in a medical abortion if you wish to know. But best of luck with your decision and I hope that you decide what is best for you. Big hugs.

Hi all,

Thanks for all of your messages - I have emailed a couple of you via your profile but had no response so I am guessing that it isn't working but I just wondered that those of you that are willing to share your experiences with me, would you mind emailing me ? I have an appointment booked now but really would like to know what to expect with the surgical sedation route or any other info that you may have. I am also utterly frustrated and dissapointed that I have to wait until next Monday for them to fit me in! [:'(]

Feel free to PM me.

Sorry for the delay and I really appreciate you posting this, I am finding hitched terribly slow for me tonight, taking ages to do anything or refresh pages.

I am more and more thinking that I should be going for medical - I am only 4 weeks gone and not sure about the whole surgical option, I hate being sick and pretty much find the option of being in my own home quite appealing.

Hi Croyde - seeing that you'd emailed people, I checked - yahoo sometimes treats Hitched as junk mail (how dare it!) and sure enough it was in there... Will just reply here about medical, hope that's OK.

Anyone who doesn't want to know about my medical experience, don't read on!

My choice was driven by wanting to avoid surgery, but also my emotions were probably quite different - I had the 'abortion pill' as a result of a missed miscarriage, basically my body didn't notice it was over, of a planned pregnancy, and I needed to 'see it through naturally'.

The procedure is actually two pills - about 36 hours apart. They work by blocking the hormone progesterone, which usually helps the uterus to hold onto what's inside. First was taken Wed about 12pm, and I went home immediately. The follow up was scheduled for Friday morning, and I was supposed to attend a day ward at my local hospital. I *think* you are supposed to be in a clinic for the second stage, I was told to expect to be in all day.

As it happened I started to bleed very heavily about 16:00 on the Wed, and rang the unit who told me to come in. One of the risks with medical is heavy bleeding, so they wanted to keep an eye on me.

I'll get a bit graphic now, just to warn you. I won't go into too much detail, but it doesn't upset me too - so if you want me to expand at all, can do so here or by email.

In terms of blood loss, it was heavy enough that I could feel it running, and pads were a waste of time - I just sat on the loo. In the hospital, they gave me cardboard trays to catch what came out, so it could go to a lab for testing. I expect that's only because it was a m/c though - and I didn't have to. I think they would probably ask you to use the cardboard trays so they could check it - you don't have to look.

The pain was very much like period pains, in the area of cramping, and general feeling - but MUCH worse. However, nothing that wasn't numbed by the painkillers I was given - I think it was paracetamol and cocodamol.

I passed lots of blood clots that made me think 'is that it?' and 'what the hell is this?' but it really was only clotted blood. I was surprised how much there could be! My biggest clots were no bigger than half a thumb, but I do know others have had much bigger. They come out easily, but a few people have said to me they weren't warned about size.

I did wonder how I'd know it was 'over'. About 11pm (nearly 12 hours after first pill, 7 hours of bleeding) I passed a clot the size of four thumbs (1 thumb length - think 4 tied together) - the bleed slowed nearly immediately, and the pain relief was immediate. Also, it felt different - more substance, heavier. I did choose to look, and it wasn't recognisably anything - but it had a greyish tinge and a different looking texture to the blood clots, and I just knew that was it done. I continued to bleed through the night - but only like a heavy day of a period. For about a week afterwards I bled like a normal fairly light period, and was lucky to have no further pain.

I can't really say if my experience was typical... certainly it's not that common to only take the first drug. I have no regrets about choosing medical. I would advise you to have someone with you if you can - apart from anything emotional, you may simply be bored. But it's not nice bleeding heavily, and a cuddle is no bad thing even when you're perfectly happy with your decision. Do you check whether you go home for the second drug - I'm sure I was told that's against guidelines. So if being at home is very important, it may influence your decision.

I can't really guide you on how far gone I was... I was 12 weeks in, but gestation had stopped around 6 weeks - but I don't know if my uterus lining had continued to thicken.

I can really see why people choose surgical - over and done with (though you bleed afterwards I believe). Medical is more like the period from hell! Oh - they probably told you this, but medical you're guaranteed to 'complete' properly, and can end up with surgery anyway - but it's unusual I believe.

Emotionally, I was a wreck - but physically I was fine. I actually stayed in hospital overnight (just timing really) and by morning I was feeling perfectly OK to do anything. It was in fact a huge relief - at that point I knew everything was over, so medical intervention was necessary. I remember feeling quite positive on the way out - and as I say, physically fine.

Good luck with whatever you choose... and if there's any aspect of that where you'd like more detail, just ask.

This may or may not be helpful. I was refered from the NHS to Marie Stopes in Brixton when I was 17. It was actually rather awful.

They were not very nice to me, I felt like a cow being herded around the place. I was terrifed and not reassured in any way.

But my experience is prob a rare one, as I know others and all the others on this thread are postive experiences.

I also had complicatons as they did not remove all the tissue, I collapsed at work a few days later and it was shown there were bits remaining so I had a go through the process again but this time an ERPC. So for me it was a bad experience. But if I felt I had to terminate a pregnancy again I would probably go there again for the fact that from consultation to procedure was only 4 days.

But if you need full details of what to expect im happy to oblige!!

Good luck

I have just replied to you. I hadn't replied earlier as hotmail thought that your e-mail was spam. I hadn't read MG's post before I sent it but our experiences are similar.

Hi ya. Not sure whether you PM'd me or not, can't find anything anyway. i am more than happy to share my experience of medical abortion but it wasn't very positive. Having said that, it was 15 years ago and, from what Rache says, hopefully medical practice has moved on significantly since then. Let me know if you'd like to hear and I'll tell you my story - but only if you want to hear both sides of the story. I don't want to make things any worse for you ?

PS Please don't feel silly, it happens to women all the time. I bet your OH isn't feeling silly ?

Hi,

I'm not sure how to do emails/PMs so hope posting on here is OK.

As Marine Girl has given you detailed description for medical, here's my story.

As I said I opted for the surgical option rather than medical and chose to have the conscious sedation. I felt this was the best option for me as it only involved one trip from Ashford to Maidstone, medical involved two, and as I have two children it had to arrange things around them. Also I didn't like the idea of the very heavy bleeding associated with medical, although this would have been at home, like I say, I have two children and didn't really want to be around them at the time.

The staff were lovely, completely non-judgemental and very supportive. I was taken upstairs to where the surgical procedures were carried out, sat in a waiting room with the other ladies (no partners/friends). I had a scan to check dates/position etc, I wasn't looking forward to this bit but the screen is turned away so it wasn't too bad. Then when it was my turn I was taken into a little room to change, then into the room where they carry out the procedure. I had to lay down in a chair with legs up in air, I didn't like this part and nearly started to cry but the nurse was lovely and reassured me, I had the injection for the sedation and at first was worried I could still tell what was happening and was quite scared but then the next thing I knew it was all over, so luckily didn't remember anything of the actual procudure. I then got dressed, moved into the next room (they're arranged so you go round in a sort of circle), had sit on reclining chair thing for a while and then allowed to go home, although not allowed to drive.

I felt a bit woosy for the rest of the day and went home and slept. I had a few minor period type cramps for a day or two, bleeding was no worse than a period for a couple of days and then turned into spotting which for me lasted a couple of weeks but think was longer than average.

It's awful having to wait, hope you're OK.

I am only a lurker but I do lurk quite regularly so if you have any questions just ask. xx