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K
Beginner May 2024 Northamptonshire

Should i ask to be bridesmaid even though we're not best friends anymore?

Kell, 17 of September of 2023 at 11:37 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 1 2

I'm literally agonising about the decision to ask another friend to be a bridesmaid (I've already chosen my others quite easily). We were best friends when we were at school, she knows my family and we've shared lots of memories. When I got together with my partner we pretty much were out of touch for a few years, I moved to a different city and I'm not sure she totally loved my partner. I rekindled the friendship and since then we're back being good friends. She is someone I can be my self around and I have fun with but we aren't as close as a couple of my other friendships. We don't have a lot of deep chats although we did go on holiday together a few months ago with another friend and I felt really close to her.

In a lot of ways, I would love her to be by my side on the day but there something niggling that is making this a really tough decision which I don't think it should be.
Apologies for the ramble. Has anyone had a similar situation or have any advice?

2 replies

Latest activity by Ivana, 17 of December of 2023 at 20:32
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Your bridesmaids need to be people you can trust to be calm and reassuring and supportive on your wedding morning. As a general rule, I'd say if you have any questions as to whether someone is right to be your bridesmaid, then you shouldn't ask them.

    No one is 'owed' a bridesmaid role. And if your friend is a true friend, then she is going to be happy to support you on your wedding day regardless of whether she is bridesmaid or not, so she should understand if she is not asked.

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  • Ivana
    Dedicated August 2024 East London
    Ivana ·
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    Hi, if you are unsure then don't ask, dont make it more complicated than it has to be. She will still be invited to your big day I presume so she will be there for you but without any responsibilities. If she gets offended that you are not going to ask her, just sit down with her and explain how you feel about it.

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