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Dedicated October 2022 Surrey

Should i cut my losses?

Lisa, 3 of April of 2022 at 15:34 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 8
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Of our guest list I have 7 people who will definitely get invited (immediate family), my fiance has 51 family/friends he wants to invite so it is already quite unbalanced.


I dont have any close friends, mainly due to moving around a lot & always finding myself at different life stages to those I had become friendly with & drifting apart.
There are 3 girls I used to work with & we have maintained contact via a group chat that we catch up on every week. In the 6 months since we have not worked together we have tried to make plans a few times but it keeps falling through. Each time I have kept myself available but one or more of the others has had something come up. Life gets busy, I get it, I'm not mad about it, it's just background.
When I announced the engagement they all assumed they would be invited to the wedding. I half-jokingly said that I'd need their addresses first for invites. I was intending to invite them as they are the closest I have to actual friends.
We are now 4 months down the line, the wedding is in October so planning is in full swing. They have all said multiple times how much they are looking forward to it. Yesterday one of them said 'let us know if tou need any help with wedding stuff', I responded that all I needed was addresses for invites & still not one of them has sent their address to me.
I'm feeling like I should just walk away, I'm fed up of trying to make & maintain friendships & tbh feeling like a failure in life that I don't have any friends. Would you just write off this group of girls if it was making you feel rejected & miserable at each interaction?

8 replies

Latest activity by Lisa, 20 of April of 2022 at 10:18
  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    I sorry you feel this way and that they are not responding. Sadly relationshis change, I changed jobs last year and of the 10 people I thought I was close to and would have at the wedding only 1 of them is now invited as I was fed up of making the effort with the others who justsut don't respond or make any effort. Is hard but pleased try not to let it get to you. Yoir wedding should be about being with the people you love and who love you back. We have drastically cut our list from when we first started planning as we realised something me people are not as close as we thought. Personally I would just leave it now and see if they contact, if they don't then take them off the list. If they do bring it up later you can say they never replied so unfortunately you had to close the list and they are not on it. May sound harsh but I'm honesty I doubt you will see them and the relationship has reached a natural end. That said, if you want to make the effort ask them for their addresses one more time and tell th a deadline date to respond. You are the only one who can decide but just do what you want and to make yourself happy not others


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  • L
    Dedicated October 2022 Surrey
    Lisa ·
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    Thanks Charlotte, I was questioning if I was being overly sensitive & a bit of a diva!
    Think I will leave it til a couple of weeks before invites are due to go out, we have a meetup planned before then (if it happens), tell them I'm sending invites, ask for the addresses & if they don't send them over then I have my answer.
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  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    Not over sensitive at all, you make an effort and so should them I like you have few friends, but the ones I do have are quality and that is al that matters. I think your plan is good, if it gets cancelled I would just withdraw contact and walk away, personally as I have got older I .less inclined to bother with people that flake al the time!
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  • RomanticPinkCars31715
    Beginner June 2022 South East London
    RomanticPinkCars31715 ·
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    This post is so relatable right now as my wedding is 6 weeks away and I’m realising that I have no close friends. I also invited ex work colleagues, who always flake when it comes to meet ups, but happen to find time for each other as they live closer. Anyway they both said they can’t make it, so I have decided to leave them alone. My H2B’s guest list is also massive compared to mine and it actually has been getting me quite down. Even an uncle has declined my invitation.


    Anyway try to stay positive and focus on the most important thing which is marrying your person.
    I’ve also decided to start a group activity in the summer to hopefully meet like minded people. Good luck with it all Lisa x
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  • Sarah
    Rockstar June 2023 Worcestershire
    Sarah ·
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    Sorry this is happening Lisa, friends suck sometimes. Smiley surprise

    I am very much like you in in the sense that only my immediate family are at the wedding, literally my mom, dad, sister, nephew and one uncle! My partners family is a lot larger with over 30 family then the rest is made up of 'friends' I have one friend coming the rest are his. Try to focus on the day being for you and your FH, if these friends are not making as much effort as you are then i think it's time to take a step back. x

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  • L
    Dedicated October 2022 Surrey
    Lisa ·
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    I have got to that point. I didnt even respond to the group chat this week & no one has bothered to check in so I have my answer.
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  • Sarah
    Rockstar June 2023 Worcestershire
    Sarah ·
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    Just don't take it personally, one thing I have learnt from being on Hitched is it's quite common having friends/family problems like this and friends/bridesmaid not showing any interest or keeping in touch.

    I called my sister 10 days ago and she cut off the call and sent me a txt saying "sorry not convenient" even now 10 days later she hasn't got in touch to say sorry I missed your call is everything ok" or find out what I wanted. For all she knew I had been dumped and the wedding was off! (it wasn't Smiley tongue ) x

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  • L
    Dedicated October 2022 Surrey
    Lisa ·
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    Family can be worse than friends! My sister & I haven't spoken in 2 years & I've had pressure to invite her but I'm being firm that I don't need that drama in my life!
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