Should I dump the bridesmaid???

In all honesty, I'd keep looking for bridesmaids dresses - £185 each does seem a bit excessive.

I think you need to ask yourself how you would feel if it was the other way around?

Would you be annoyed if she 'took back' the honour on you? Or do you feel shes not really that interested in the wedding & she wouldnt mind not bein in wedding party?

Tough call...although is £185.00 worth upsetting a friend for life?

Weddings can start / progress family / friend feuds beyond belief.... you need to ask is it worth it?

You could ask them to but their own accessories ie shoes & get them to pay for their own hair & make up to help you money wise?

Go with your gut instinct!

If it were me, i would have a chat with the bridesmaids and see if they would be willing to pay half the money for their dresses. At the end of the day, it'll be them who keeps the dress so why should you buy each of them an expensive dress to keep that they'd likely only wear once?

I don't know, perhaps i'm a bit blunt, but being a geordie i was brought up with the saying 'Shy bairns get nowt'..... and it's true. xx

If it is mainly about the money maybe you could sell the dresses again afterwards to recoup some costs? If it's more because you're feeling a bit let down by your friend why don't you invite her to local wedding fayre or something, if she can't be bothered to attend i think you have your answer, but she may jump at the chance and it would be a good way for her to see how much organising there is to do and how much she could help you out ,hint hint!

I'd look for different dresses. You've asked her and to now not have her is a bit off IMO.

You have to remember that really - bridesmaids are just an accessory to your day. You only need one bridesmaid to act as a witness (as was - these days some people don't have bridesmaids and just have a witness dressed in their normal clothes). Your wedding day isn't as important to them as you and they won't spend all their time asking you stuff - some do, but most don't.

All I expected mine to do were to be at the dress appointments to choose a dress, and be with me from about midday / 1.00pm on the day to get ready (plus for their hair appt just before).

I am getting married in two weeks. I have three bridesmaids and they have all been really interested, involved and excited about the wedding so I understand that you could be feeling upset about her lack of interest. We are just back from my hen weekend and I pretty much cried for the whole time because they constantly surprised me with things and made me feel so special. I have been a bridesmaid twice and it is a bridesmaids job to be enthusiastic and to flap around the bride!! My view is that it is your one special day and there should be no compromise... it has to be exactly how you see/ want it; however, on the other hand, if she was a good enough friend for you to ask in the first place then there must be a friendship worth saving.... if you dump her, I reckon that will be gone forever. Can you imagine her even wanting to come along to the wedding as a guest...?

My dresses were £175 (plus £50 standard alteration package even tho they just needed a little nip in!! grrrrr) and H2B and I paid for all three, along with their jewellery, bags, hair and makeup -- they are getting their own shoes. Maybe I am just a mug (and I am certainly not rich) but I thought this was ok, and I want them to feel as special as me and have everything perfect for the big day.

Tough decision...

I agree with Miss Understood, think that would be an ideal option.

I understand what you mean about finding an expensive dress though - the one i've seen costs £175 and although 2 of my bridesmaids really like it and are willing to pay for it themselves, I don't think i could ask them to pay that much. But I haven't seen anything else as nice yet, so might end up paying some towards it or something!

If you still want her involved in the wedding but perhaps not as a bridesmaid (the cost of the dress and the fact she's not that excited) could you not find her an alternative role? Witness maybe, or ask her to a reading? If she was really a good friend she would understand!

Good luck x