Should I invite my best friends husband to the wedding?

Be the bigger person and invite him.

I'm quite petty so I would invite him just to say "see, I'm much more considerate than you"

Or you could just invite both of them to the evening part where it wouldn't cost you as much?

If you're short on space then there's no need to invite him. She's not your bridesmaid anyway. I think she treated you quite badly - you did well not mentioning that to her!

You could ask her whether she would like to come alone for the whole day OR have an evening only invite for both of them?

That's odd that she didn't invite your partner! I personally wouldn't attend a wedding if my other half wasn't invited whether I was bridesmaid or not so well done you for being the bigger person and ploughing on through. In answer to whether you should invite her partner or not depends on how badly you want her there. Do you think she would take the stance I would and not attend at all if her partner wasn't invited? If you really want her there and think she may not attend if they aren't both invited I'd be the bigger person and just invite them both. Do you want her to feel the way you did? I can be spiteful myself so part of me would want to not invite him on purpose but I think I'd go with the other half of me that would say invite him and hope she feels crappy for how she treated you and your partner! Or as mentioned above that if your numbers are tight and you have someone else you would much rather be there over him just send them both an evening invitation.

I like to think I would be the bigger person but t be honest I would probably do what Paula said! To make a complete rule is he thing but to single you/your partner out and then leave empty seats at your table is another. Depends on whether you wish to stay good friends/possible cause friction etc etc.

I didn't think about extending the invite to the evening part, that's a good idea!

The more I think about it, the more it really annoys me that she didn't even give me a reason or apology for not inviting him, especiallly since she invited many other guest's partners, I presume she did that as she thought they wouldn't have anybody to socialise with otherwise. Haha I wind myself up thinking 'I don't want to be the bigger person, I want to be as petty as she is'

But as yourself and The others suggested, I'll invite her and all that group of friends as solo guests, and offer their partners an invite for the evening, as I'm not really friendly with any of their partners are they all live far away.

To be honest I think she would find it really awkward to mention "why isn't my husband invited?" She is a super tight and penny counting person, so when she knows something costs money she would definitely understand that aspect. She wouldn't reject my invite if her husband isn't there definitely not. (If she does I would just confront her about her wedding and tell her how ridiculous she's being).

is giving her a whole day invite and her partner just an evening invite insulting? I would set that as the rule for that particularl group of friends. I could never just give her an evening invite she'd be devastated and plus I want her to be there as she is my best friend.

I don't think she does feel crappy about the way she did her invites, I came to terms with the fact she gave none of the bridesmaids plus 1s, despite 3 out of 4 of us being in serious relationships, I got more annoyed that when she had last minute cancellations, she never bothered extend the invite to my boyfriend and she extended the invite to the other 2 (she had actually seen them 3 days before the wedding at a social party that my boyfriend couldn't attend)

I was chief bridesmaid for my best friend last year whose wedding was over 180 miles away. She did invite my other half but as he had only met her and her fiancé once and didn't know anyone else at the wedding he wasn't keen on going. He's also very quiet and not the type of guy who can just strike up a conversation with complete strangers. I was also conscious that I would be doing my chief bridesmaid duties all day and that he would be left on his own a lot of the time and I would be constantly worrying if he was ok and looking over so he never came and we were both quite happy with that arrangement! I know that's different to your situation but did your other half know others at the wedding? Maybe she is thinking how I was thinking that he might have been a bit lost without you by his side all day like my partner would have and not really enjoyed his day? If my friend's wedding had been closer to home my other half would probably have came at night when I was more free to spend time with him but as it was over 180 miles away we didn't see the point.

If you're still thinking about her not inviting your partner (which I agree is odd), I would suggest talking to her about it. I do not think you should confront her though.

In relation to your own wedding, I would have a rule in relation to guests and +1, and apply it fairly. If that means her husband is invited - great; if it means he's not - at least it's defendable.

I've looked at this a few times and not responded as I wasn't sure what to put, but if she's your best friend regardless of anything else, what does it matter what she did last year under wedding planning stress? Is she even aware that she forgot to invite your OH? If you didn't remind her would she have realised? I just think we hold grudges and fall out with each other too easily over what is essentially one day in our lives. If you think she'll be as upset as you were last year then why cause upset by not inviting him? Personally I would invite him, if you're still upset about her wedding, talk to her about it. I know I'd much rather have my friend talk to me than get advice off other people. x

I couldn't agree more with Metal Bride's comments :-)

I don't know what comes over us all when it comes to weddings but if you put it all in to perspective, it is one day then it's all over. I am not of the belief that it's "my day" and "all about me". My partner and I equal 2 people who will walk away married to each other at the end of the day (so that should be enough for us to be happy with that!) For me, it's more important that the wedding party and guests have a nice time, that they feel relaxed, comfortable and are well fed and watered!

Personally, I would invite them as a couple. However, I think the solution you've come to is reasonable. If you were applying this rule to this friend only, it would seem a bit rude, but if it's a blanket rule to a whole group of friends who will be sitting together then I think you can get away with it.

Although I think that the fact she didn't invite your partner to her wedding was weird and rude... the best time to discuss it with her would have been before her wedding, when she could have either given you an explanation or had the opportunity to put it right. It seems odd to make a fuss about that now if you didn't mention at the time, so I'd just let it go.