Here's the situation: we have 50 spots on our guestlist, and have filled 40 of them. We're trying to decide on the final 10 but it's getting tricky.
FH and I have a joint friendship group from university. At the moment, we've invited the 7 people that we hangout with individually outside of a group context. The rest of the group we only really see in group contexts (in various clusters, not just the entire group in one go).
The only person I don't want to invite is this girl, let's call her Karen. I have a long standing issue with her, firstly because of the time she jumped on top of my ex boyf and started making out with him while we were still together, secondly because of how all over my FH she often is. Karen is more FH's friend than mine, but after I raised this with him he's taken quite a solid step back from that friendship so they are friends but not as close now. Karen got married* in January, and I really like her now husband. However, even though she's married, most of the girls in the group (apart from her best friend) still have an issue with her and still find she behaves unacceptably around their other halves. Other than my FH, all of the guys (stereotypically!) are fairly oblivious.
A little while ago, I brought up with her that I felt like she might have a problem with me, and ever since I have noticed her making an effort to be nice to me. So there is a part of me that wants to try to be her friend as life would be so much easier if I genuinely liked everyone in the group. She is very much a staple person in the friendship group who goes to most group things.
My ideal situation is to invite the rest of the group, as all together they are so fun, but not Karen. However, I feel like that sends a very firm message on how I feel about her and will make it blindingly obvious to the rest of the group - I fear all the oblivious guys will think I look like a bitch and it'll open a whole can of worms. I also think the rest of the group are kinda expecting an invite and it might be a bit awkward if we don't invite them - they've done nothing wrong and are our friends.
There's part of me that really thinks I should just suck it up invite everyone, including Karen, as she's clearly trying to be nice to me and I do really like her husband. However, I still get that pang of panic every time I see her anywhere near my FH because of her past behaviour and I don't really want that on my wedding day...
Any advice?
*If it makes a difference, we were initially only invited to their wedding evening. We got upgraded at the last minute, but declined the upgrade and only went to the evening - as we were aware that we may not reciprocate the invite. We aren't inviting additional evening guests to our wedding, everyone is invited for the full day.