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Beginner June 2018

Should I pay for my Bridesmaids hotel rooms?

HappyPinkDecor620, 23 January, 2018 at 12:23 Posted on Planning 0 8
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I have fallen out with my sister over this! Our venue requires us to take for the night 8 rooms (one is complimentary for bride and groom) so we basically have to pay for 7. We have allocated so far a room to my fiance's parents, a room to my step mum and partner, a room to my mum, a room to my maid of honour and a room to the best man (that's 5 taken). We have agreed to pay for those. The sixth one has to go to his aunty and uncle as they have a disabled daughter and it is one of only two family rooms in the whole hotel (they have said they will pay for this). The final seventh one I was going to offer to my aforementioned step sister who is also one of my bridesmaids because this is the only other family room available in the whole hotel and she has a 1 and a half year old. So I offered this to her on the basis that she would pay for it. Reason being is that, as I said before, I will pay for my maid of honour but I cannot afford to pay for my other three bridesmaids (one being her, another being a different sister and another is a friend) so I just chose my maid of honour. I also feel that if I paid for all bridesmaids, we would also have to pay for the other three groomsmen to make it fair. This would add a total of 6 more rooms to our price which at £175-£185 a room will be near £1000! Her argument is that we have to pay for these certain 7 rooms anyway to have the venue, so she should get one of them. My argument is that I find it really unfair to give her a room, and my maid of honour a room, but not my other sister and my other bridesmaid, and in turn all the groomsmen too! Should I pay for her and just not tell the others, or should I pay for everyone, or should I stick to my guns?! What really upset me was that she said I was making money of our mum!! Need help!!

8 replies

Latest activity by Paula @ Ollievision, 9 February, 2018 at 12:05
  • R
    Beginner April 2018
    RomanticBlueCakes716 ·
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    I don't think it's reasonable to expect the bride and groom to pay for your accommodation, and I definitely see your point over the other bridesmaids and groomsmen, I also see her point about having to pay for the rooms anyway. I think I would send a message to other guests and say a room is available at this cost, please let me know if you want it. If someone else is willing to pay for it then she looses out. If no one wants it, I'd still not let her have it just put of stubbornness!

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  • H
    Rockstar June 2020
    HappyBlueCars582 ·
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    If she were just a normal guest and not your bridesmaid could she stay in cheaper accommodation? I was asked to be a chief bridesmaid at wedding which was over 180 miles away from my home and I have to say that I was a bit miffed when the bride text me saying that the hotel still had some rooms and the discounted rate was £110 a night! I kind of thought she might've paid something towards it since I was travelling over 180 miles to get here! Had I been a normal guest I certainly wouldn't have been staying in the hotel and paying that kind of money. Maybe she feels the same way and that if you are expecting her to stay in that hotel then you should pay for it.

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  • H
    Beginner June 2018
    HappyPinkDecor620 ·
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    I see your point and I do understand how she feels but with regard to what you said about being a chief bridesmaid - she only has to travel less than 15 miles lol and she is not my chief bridesmaid. The chief bridesmaid I have paid for but I just can’t pay for three more bridesmaids...

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  • H
    Beginner June 2018
    HappyPinkDecor620 ·
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    Thank you for your help and opinions! It is helpful and hopefully in doing the right thing!

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  • H
    Beginner June 2018
    HappyPinkDecor620 ·
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    Also I have made it clear she isn’t expected to stay - the only reason I offered it to her is because she would need a family room and before I send out the invitations I wanted to make sure she had a choice.

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  • R
    Beginner April 2018
    RomanticBlueCakes716 ·
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    Well, you gave her the choice and she declined, offer it out to other guests.

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  • P
    Curious April 2020
    pearlycat210 ·
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    Totally agree

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  • J
    Beginner May 2018
    JessNav ·
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    Not a chance would I pay!! I'm getting married in May and have family travelling over 200 miles, I'm not paying for their rooms but feeding and watering them all day, what more do you guests want?? If us bride and grooms wanting our nearest and dearest with us to celebrate one of the most memorable days of ours lives is too much of an effort for some then they don't deserve to be a part of it!

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  • Paula @ Ollievision
    Paula @ Ollievision ·
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    Could you just tell her "If you're not sure I'm going to offer it to the other guests for £x price." then stick it on facebook and say "there's one room at the venue left for £x, who wants it?"

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