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Beginner August 2014

Should I postpone/cancel/change the date of the wedding?

Iona1651, 25 October, 2013 at 10:56 Posted on Planning 0 8

Should I change date or postpone my wedding?

We're going tomorrow to pay the deposit/meet with the wedding planner for our ceremony and reception. Once that's done, we will pay the deposit for the hall for the night and the band. We've already paid a very small deposit for the registrar.

All booked around my OH's parents as they live away and run a farm so it was the best date to suit them leaving the animals etc.

However, I've just found out I'm pregnant. I had a suspected ectopic pregnancy in March 2012 and ended up miscarrying. Been trying to conceive since and had lots of pain etc. Had a laparoscopy in Sept 13. Was told yesterday by the gyna that I've got endometriosis and to go get referred by my doc to a fertility clinic asap because of my age as we've been trying for ages and nothing happening. However, my gums are very sore and I've had a strange feeling in my stomach so I did a test last night. This was positive.

I don't know what to do. I must only just be pregnant. If so, then I'd be due around July, my wedding being 1st Aug. Do I postpone or cancel the wedding? I've got everything crossed but what if I cancel the wedding and then I end up miscarrying again?

Sorry if too much information/sound like I'm moaning - my head's all over the place at the mo.

8 replies

Latest activity by *Pugsley*, 26 October, 2013 at 08:03
  • SarahW73
    Beginner September 2013
    SarahW73 ·
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    Aw hun, it's no wonder your head is all over the place but congratulations! I can empathise to an extent after having trouble getting my pregnant myself. After what happened last year I can understand totally why you fear it happening again too.

    Under the circumstances I would hold off paying any more deposits until you've seen a doc & know how far gone you are. If you are due in July I'd say postpone! Getting married so soon after giving birth will be very hard. The month before the wedding is the busiest & you will already have your hands full!

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  • M
    Beginner November 2013
    MrsW-to-be ·
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    Congratulations and really crossing my fingers for you that everything goes well.#

    Your head must be all over the place now so I really feel for you.

    It is entirely up to you (obviously) but if it were me I would postpone, you will be stressing about wedding stuff when you are pregnant which might not be that good for you and you can then focus on enjoying the pregnancy and then enjoy planning a wedding seperately.

    xx

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  • lil_2014
    Beginner July 2014
    lil_2014 ·
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    This!

    Also, hopefully the bean will stick and he/she will be able to take part of the big day when you plan it all over again!

    I don't see a bad side to postpone, as it sounds having a baby is a bit of a priority for you guys, if the worst happens and this bean doesn't stick, you would still be able to focus on your health and having this plan done first.

    Good luck x

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  • Sange!
    Beginner January 1997
    Sange! ·
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    It'd be a lot less stressful for you. Coudl you bring it forward rather than postpone? I would certainly consider moving it somehow in your shoes. I hope it all works out ok for you x

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  • L
    Beginner December 2012
    LEN11212 ·
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    Wow, I can see why this is a tough decision for you. I think most people will agree that if all goes well then a wedding on Aug 1st is really not a possibility. If the baby is late this could literally be a few weeks before your wedding day. Dress/appearance worries aside, how practical will that really be?!

    How big are the deposits and how much would it impact you financially if you lost them? No one would be happy to lose money but if you realistically think you could afford to plan again if you have to cancel in a a few months time when you know all is going well with the pregnancy then that wouldn't be the end of the world.

    You could try just being totally honest with the wedding planner. Find out if they have dates free in say 4-7 months time that you may be able to tentatively reserve? I've been to plenty of weddings now where the bride is very visibly pregnant! I know this may be tricky for OHs parents but I'm sure they will be delighted with the news of being grandparents and will do everything they can to work something out.

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  • B
    Beginner July 2014
    blueypye ·
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    Well firstly, congratulations! I hope it all goes well and to plan. Regarding your wedding, I think that it really depends on what sort of event you were planning on having. If it is going to be a massive lavish affair then I would agree with the others and consider postponing. Have a chat with OH's parents and identify some suitable dates, then talk to your wedding planner.

    However, if you were planning something smaller and informal I would consider still going ahead. It could be the perfect occasion to welcome the new little one into the family. If you have a lot of close family and friends that can support you, and you aren't planning on doing everything DIY then it could work really well. I wouldn't worry about what you'll wear or any of that, as at the end of the day it dosn't matter, your getting married not hosting the Oscars! And if the worst happened, and you miscarried, planning your special day might give you a focus and something to look forward to.

    (This is all caveated by the fact that I don't yet have any children and I have no experience of the final weeks before a wedding!)

    Perhaps you could wait until your 12 week scan before you make any decisions?

    Hope it all goes well x

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  • I
    Beginner August 2014
    Iona1651 ·
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    Thanks everyone for your advice/comments.

    I bought my dress in March 2013 and it is actually too big - would need it altering to fit.

    I wouldn't mind being pregnant at the wedding as we both want to be parents. I'm also worried that some of the family are quite old, my OH's uncle is 84, his parents are in their 70's and my mum is 67. Not that I'm saying anything will happen to any of them but it's just another thing to think about.

    Will let you know next week what the outcome of the meeting with the venue is.

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  • Ohwhatatuesday
    Beginner May 2014
    Ohwhatatuesday ·
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    Congratulations, I can totally understand why your head is all over the place. Trying to move it forward sounds like a good option if you can find a date that works

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  • *Pugsley*
    Beginner March 2014
    *Pugsley* ·
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    I can't offer any more advice other than that which has ready said.

    I just wanted to pop in and say congratulations!!

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