I have recently got engaged and have a dilemma. My parents immediately let us know that they would happily pay for the cost of the wedding, which we obviously really appreciate. However it has left me feeling indebted to them somewhat. They convinced us (me) not to do the wedding abroad and they also convinced us (me) that we should have a church ceremony. I say it like that because my fiancé is very laid back and generally wants me to be happy so far has gone along with decisions we have made.
It has come to the point where we need to decide on our wedding party. My mum has dropped several hints that she thinks my brother should automatically be invited to be my fiancé’s groomsman. Here’s the thing: my fiancé already has about 7 very close friends he has grown up with who he is struggling to choose between. Neither myself or my fiancé are particularly close with my brother; he lives in a different city and we only see one another on family occasions. Additionally, he is a polar opposite to my fiancé and his groomsman and I think my fiancé would feel very awkward having him around on the stag do.
Having said that, I am considering having my fiancé’s sister as a bridesmaid. We are not super close but we do see each other much more often as we live in the same town and she wouldn’t have a problem fitting in for the hen do etc. Also, I only have one or two close friends so it’s easy to include her, especially as my fiancé plans on having many groomsman.
I just know my mum is going to cause a big fuss if she doesn’t get her way. I’m not really sure how my brother would feel about it because I haven’t asked but he usually takes his cues from mum and would no doubt follow her lead in being irrationally hurt by the situation. At the end of the day, I feel my fiancé has already compromised enough and should get to choose his close friends first. Am I in the wrong here?
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