SIL assuming she's a bridesmaid, what do I do?

Hmmm...

i would firstly have a think of who you WOULD like to be bridemaid/maids and just say that you already mentioned to said people years ago that if you got wed it would be them, then say that although she wouldnt be bridemaid etc you would really like it if her too girls would be the younger bridemaids...

I agree I don't see how she can expect to be a BM when shes a cow to you.

Its your special day and what you say goes

xxxx

think about the friends you would like as your bridesmaids and ask them. Then give the SIL2b a wee phone call and tell her you would like to have a wee word with the 2 children as you would like to ask them something. Then ask them how they would like to be bridesmaids at the wedding! Dont let the cat out of the bag that you think shes hinting! And if she asks about your adult BMs, tell her very nicely, "O its my best friends x and y".

I would say you'd really like her daughters to be a part of the day and and have the other BM's as you friends hmm maybe try and word it differntly lol but like saying that she still gets to be involved but through her girls being BM's x

Have the people you want to be bridesmaids. Say your only having your friends and sister if you have one but would like her 2 girls to be your flower girls. At the end of the day if she picks a fight over it, it proves your point or ask the girls to be your flower girls in front of people so when she asks about herself you can say sorry my friends are been bridesmaids so hopefully she ont kick up as much fuss in front of people.

Could your sil be a witness or usher or do a reading, that way shes involved and hopefully it would be clear thats she's not going to be a bm as well,

Personally i would just bring it up in a general conversation. Just say somthing like i will need to hurry up and ask my friend ..................... to be bridesmaid or somthing like that.

Thanks everyone, I definitely think asking her to do a reading would be something to consider, I hadn't thought of that. I just hope she accepts it, she is quite unpredictable at times. I really didn't expect her to want to be a bridesmaid, given that she acts as if i'm at fault for existing when she's having a "fat day" as she calls it, she pins all of her body issues onto me. I've also heard her calling her eldest daughter fat (she really isn't) so I know she's got history when it comes to upsetting her daughters. I think i'm going to call in backup and talk to MIL about this, we get on quite well and she knows that SIL is a bit difficult at times. I'm not too concerned over SIL's feelings, I just don't want her to get the chance to tell her daughters they can't be bridesmaids.

On a happier note, I am hopefully going to ask my best friend to be my bridesmaid today. I only want the one adult bridesmaid, as I only really have the one super close female friend who is of bridesmaid age, so hopefully she says yes.

Of course she will say yes!! Sounds lovely! I would go round soon and ask the little girls as soon as your friends confirmed and you can tell the lettle girls that their other BM friend for the day is...her name! Then at the same time, ask their mum how she would feel about doing a reading. and that it would mean a lot to you! keep her sweet missy!