Sister advice!

Sounds like she’s jealous! In her eyes your life is perfect and is everything she wants. So instead of acting happy for you, she’s making sly digs and letting the green eyed monster out.
Could you talk to your mum and she if she has noticed? Or even get your say to say something like “if you haven’t anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” or “be nice as when this happens to you, your be treated how you treated people” etc.

It’s hard. I bet deep down she is so excited and happy for you but she can’t see past the jealousy. I bet there’s a bit of anger there too as her younger sister is getting everything she wants. My younger sister got married/brought a house/had babies first and I’ll admit I was insanely jealous but I was mature enough not to let that show in my happiness for her. If she can’t see what she’s doing or carries on then could you pull her up on it. “Why can’t you just be happy for me? Your bringing everything down with your gloominess. If you don’t want to be involved just say” kind of thing. I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your sister if you could say this to her.
Whatever happens enjoy your days, the excitement and fun. Screw what others think and if they can’t be happy for you then that’s their problem. Congratulations on the engagement and the baby ❤️❤️ And happy 7 years. What a exciting time in your lives

Let me start by saying Congratulations on your 7 years! And the new family you are creating.


I struggled with whether to post this but as much as you feel hard done by your sisters rxn please try and have some compassion. You mention she’s 40 and single but wants to settle down - I can imagine it’s not easy watching a baby sister who she (probably … I’m 9years older than my brother and everyone acknowledges I helped raise him. He even gets me a Mother’s Day card) helped change nappies for a in her teenage years settle down before her.
Don’t get me wrong, celebrate your happiness and next steps etc but also try and celebrate whatever your sister is doing at work, if she’s bought a house without a partner etc. You might be doing it but double down on doing so. This might start to change the way your sister reacts to you.
I have no doubt she is immensely happy for you (as any sibling or friend would be) but it will be tough as it brings home the fact she may never get the life she wants.
Think, if you had a friend who had experienced multiple miscarriages you’d be mindful about how you spoke about your pregnancy - not to say you wouldn’t be happy and her for you but there would be sensitivity. If you had a friend who was homeless you wouldn’t be steering all conversations to your new mansion etc instead you’d mention things going well in their life and trying to get them in the headspace to get their life together ….
Please give your sister the benefit of the doubt. If you do this may turn this hurt you are both likely feeling around. Good luck

Try putting yourself in your sister's shoes for a minute. If a family is something your sister has always wanted but hasn't happened yet, and with no immediate prospects, she will be acutely aware of her age and the fact that that dream may very well be off the table for her. Grieving the loss of a life you'll never have can be as raw and painful as the loss of a person close to you. Imagine your life without your husband-to-be and your baby - imagine you're not able to have children - do you think you might find attending celebrations of these life events of others a little stinging too?? The previous commenter is absolutely correct, she's likely very jealous and doesn't know how to channel that. What's an exciting day for you hurts her - and it's not because she's not happy for you, it's because she's just really sad for herself and it's difficult to see past that in the moment.

Have an honest conversation with you sister about your wedding and what she feels comfortable with - it might be something that's important to her, or it might be that she feels obligated to be part of your wedding party but is actually dreading the thought of the day or having to go dress shopping, etc. In the grand scheme of things, your wedding is one day vs a lifelong relationship with your sister.

With regards to being inconsiderate, I'm sorry, but you are - although I get you're not trying to be. Your sister has made it clear through her actions/comments that she finds talking about those big life 'successes' triggering - she probably feels like she's failed in life because she doesn't have those things herself. It doesn't matter whether you feel they should upset her or not - that's her lived experience and she's entitled to it - trying to argue your point on the matter will do nothing but drive a wedge between you that may never heal. From someone who has been there, it's just not worth it. Think of it as if you have a friend who struggles with alcohol addiction - you wouldn't sit there are talk in front of them about the great night you had on the lash! Just talk to your sister about other things instead - work, hobbies, etc. and save the baby and wedding talk for other people.

You sister will likely not feel like this forever - and when life improves for her you'll probably find her happiness and excitement for you changes too. If you value that relationship, be accepting of where she is currently and come up with a plan for your wedding that you're both happy with.

View quoted message We both said pretty much the same thing at the same time- on this matter your are my POV twin. 🤣

Absolutely agree with all of the above 👆 x