I got engaged whilst on holiday, I immediately text and called all close family and friends to let them know. The day after I called my sister who was asking who was the bridesmaids – at which point I knew who I wanted to ask however didn’t want to tell her she wasn’t a bridesmaid as we weren’t close, she was dropping hints about being a bridesmaid. I spoke to my mum and she and my other close friend agreed I should have my sister as one of the bridesmaids – which meant me leaving out one of my closest friends because I had to ask my sister. I asked and she said yes – initially I text them all and showed them dresses I liked and she responded saying she didn’t want to wear a maxi dress as she didn’t like them, which was the first of all the drama. We have never been close and she is always awkward at family events – we didn’t speak for a while last year before my mums wedding because of her behaviour.
She then kicked off when she found out we booked a Friday wedding as she would have to take a day off work, we had chosen this date as it was the closest to the date we got engaged yet that wasn’t available. I organised a night when all the bridesmaids could come over and get to know each other before the big day as they will be spending a lot of time together when we go dress shopping and the hen do etc. I asked the bridesmaids who wanted their makeup done – all of them responded saying yes they wanted to have theirs done – and were willing to pay as they would have done if going to another wedding. She replied saying no she would do her own – which was fine. They all had said they wanted their hair done the same as it was what bridesmaids do – my sister said no. to which I said well I want you to be there the night before as I want us all to get ready together – I also said I wanted them to have the same hair – to which she kicked off saying she didn’t want matching hair and it was ridiculous and too much etc.
I asked her and her bf over for dinner which happened to be on the Sunday after the bridesmaid dinner/ drinks I had organised. She replied saying it was a bit much to come over twice and see me in one weekend. To at which point I admit I flipped she is always the one who doesn’t want to see family and always puts her friends first. She made out that it was because she lives 10 miles away and we could have made it a more convenient place etc. She then replied in another message that it wasn’t all about my wedding. I responded saying it wasn’t all about my wedding that I simply wanted for her and her bf to come over for dinner and if she felt that way not to bother being a bridesmaid. She then said I was being awkward about everything – when in reality it is her. She text me again saying that just because it is my wedding doesn’t mean I can control everything – everyone who she had spoken to agreed about the hair and makeup and she didn’t want hers done by some shitty amateur – who so happened to do my mums hair for her wedding last year.
In another text she said you have threatened to not have me as bridesmaid so go ahead, your hissy fits have consequences FYI. She then kicked off about having to take a day off for the wedding and the fact she would have to have matching dresses and hair. She also made reference to my wedding being cheap – which it is not may I add. This is from the girl who didn’t even buy her own mum a wedding card and showed up with her arms swinging at every occasion. We left it at that but I am in two minds – everyone I have spoken to has said not to have her as bridesmaid. I don’t know how she is going to act running up to the wedding as she has been so difficult at every stage.
My maid of honor text everyone who I had said would come to a hen do, and she replied three days later saying no she can’t come because she has no holiday as she has to take a day off for the wedding. She is being exceptionally selfish and I don’t know why she is acting this way. Everyone else has replied saying yes – what is upsetting me is she was dropping hints to be bridesmaid and making a point and she acts like this. I can’t even speak to my mum about it as unless she is arguing with her my mum takes her side.
