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Beginner September 2024 Berkshire

Sister/ moh jealousy

Chloe, 2 March, 2024 at 23:51 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 2

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My sister has always had a strange paranoia about people talking to me more than her or if someone commented I looked nice she’d be annoyed they didn’t say it to her.

She got married 3 years ago.

When I got engaged she seemed so excited and kept making hints about being MOH.

I asked her however am now regretting it..

When it came to dress shopping it was clear her only focus was making sure my dress was in no way similar to hers.

At her wedding she wore a diamond and Pearl headpiece.

I asked if I could have this as my something borrowed.

She kicked off saying no, we can’t have the same things and I’m not copying her.

This seems very selfish to me. I’d be honoured if someone wanted to borrow something of mine for their wedding and especially given she’s never going to wear the headpiece again.. it just sits in a box in storage now. I’ll likely end up having to buy my own headpiece that is super similar to hers anyway.. it’s a generic one that loads of brides wear these days!

Help! How would you handle the situation and not feeling like my sister is acting like a MOH but instead is dampening my mood?

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Latest activity by Ivana, 4 March, 2024 at 17:48

VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 4 March, 2024 at 17:41
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If she is dampening your mood, then it might be best to limit how much wedding-planning stuff you do with her, so that her role is more limited to the actual day.
I don't think it's an issue that she doesn't want to share her headpiece with you though - if that is something that she wants to keep tucked away as a special memento, then that's her choice. Just because she doesn't feel 'honoured' to let you wear it on your wedding day doesn't mean she is wrong. Just enjoy finding a new one that you love instead.
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Dedicated August 2024 East London
Ivana · 4 March, 2024 at 17:48
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Hi girl,
I also have my sister as my MOH, however your experience is way different than mine. I'm sorry you have to go through this experience and your sister is not fully there for you, instead she is protecting her own interests by the looks of it. Do you think it's worth it sitting down and having a conversation with her discussing what the issue is? Would that solve anything? By what you are saying she has always had this almost jealousy of you.
Anyway, my advice is sit down and talk as adults, if you need to have someone else present in the conversation, just so it does not backfire then have someone else there too. Also worth to mention, try to stay calm and do not overreact or be too emotional as that might make things worse or someone saying something they may regret after. Try and hear her out and see her perspective too, share your feelings and your view on it too, but do not attack or blame her as it will make it worse. If you want her to still be a part of your big day find a compromise that will work for everyone and everyone is happy with. If the issue cannot be resolved after the conversation, maybe its best to mention to her that she should not be maid of honour if she can't put her ego aside and be happy for you and help you make the best choices for you. Hope this helps.
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