Sister Plus 1

Up to you as don’t know how far your pockets will stretch but if restrictions allow I’d allow a sibling a plus one. Standard “rules” shouldn’t count when it comes to immediate family.


This person could become your law but more importantly why add strain to a sibling relationship - having planned a wedding during lockdown (2 weeks to go) you rely on family so much for emotional support.

I would do it for family and a very close friend, I’d be sad if one of my siblings didn’t let me have a plus one.

Personally I don’t think you are being mean, If you set a rule that is fair on everyone. At the end of the day it’s your wedding so do what you feel is right and have their who you choose.
Do you know him at all? Also could there be a compromise and he come in the evening?

How long have they been together? How far away is your wedding date?
Without sounding mean but do you think they will be together still at the wedding? Also do you know him as in have you all met socially and hung out?
My brother in law asked for a plus one for the girl he was seeing when we booked, we said no. They have since broken up. But we kind of knew it would happen as I swear he has a new girlfriend every 6 months.
It all depends on your budget and would he be taking the spot of someone you want/ know well. He could have a evening invite. Or see how their relationship goes. If still together when you need to confirm numbers then say yes maybe.
Being invited to a wedding as a plus 1 is a big thing early on in a relationship and can add pressure etc.

Agree with the others- perhaps some middle ground could be met for now, to either invite him to the evening or say if someone drops out he can have their place but if numbers are tight it is tricky. Perhaps as well say you would like to spend some time with him before the wedding too so you all at least know each other better. It's hard isn't it! We did our invites back in 2019 and so many flipping friends and family members have chopped and changed partners and we are trying to be flexible even though our numbers are big, but to be honest now we have postponed to next year I'm almost past caring..! I did draw the line at my aunt asking if my 17 year old cousin could bring her boyfriend though!

I don't think you're being mean!

But as the wedding is over a year away (Oct 22?) it's reasonable to think that if they're still seeing each other then it'll be pretty serious/he'll be part of the family at that point.

Worth bending the rule for a sibling. Bit different if you were getting married in three weeks though.

I would put this in the 'pending' file - they might have split up long before your wedding, but on the other hand, they might be engaged by that point. In the first case, she'll be glad he's NOT invited to the wedding, and in the second - you couldn't really refuse to invite your sister's fiance to your wedding! So wait & see how their relationship looks by the time you're sending the invites out.

Echoing some of what has been said above, I think where possible you should be flexible for immediate family. How far away is the wedding? Invites usually don’t go out until 2 months before or even less, so if by that time they’ve been together a while, then it seems reasonable to include him. I know it’s an extra cost, but you’ll need to weigh that up against potential family fall outs and might end up causing yourself more stress than if you just agree that the rule can be bent *only* for immediate family

I can see your dilemma - we've also tried to draw a line on plus 1s so we don't end up just paying for someone's latest tinder date to have a day out...
Perhaps make clear that her bringing a plus one is THAT particular guy if they are still together, not just an open "ticket", so she'd be bringing a serious partner, but would have to come on her own if they broke up.

Hi all, thank you for all the replies!! We didn't expect so many so quickly. We haven't met the guy yet and she was with someone different a few months back and they broke up after 3 weeks of dating so we were just shocked that after dating the new guy for 3 weeks she was already asking for the plus 1. We agree with all your comments and had actually already said that we would see nearer the time so maybe we just need to reiterate that.


Many thanks,Russell and Zoë