Sister unable to attend

I wouldnt want my sister not to be able to attend but its your choice

I think you are being a little unfair on your sister here, she is not going to postpone having a baby on the on the chance she conceived at just the right time for her to be due around your wedding day.

I think you should probably change the date if you want your sister there, I would rather lose a few hundred and change my date, and maybe suppliers to have my family there.

Obviously the best man is important as well, but Im sure you can figure out a plan that will allow them both to attend.

Good luck.

Agreed, and obviously I don't know the full story but maybe this particular moment wasn't planned!

Anyway, I think that if you are going to move the date, moving it to a later date would be better than moving it up by 3 months. I think you do need to be prepared that many suppliers you have already booked may not be available with 5 months notice - not impossible, but something to consider. Moving it to a later date will probably give you a greater chance of availability. Plus, your sister will be more likely to be able to attend. I don't know how close you are to your sister, but from my point of view - it's your sister, she's probably one of the very most important people you want to attend the wedding and it's probably very important to her as well.

If you were able to book, say, 3 months later, your sister (as well as your niece or nephew!) will be able to attend. It will also give you more time to prepare and plan for your wedding, as well as being able to enjoy all the things of preparing to be an Auntie and go through the pregnancy experiences with your sister! Instead of stressing to plan a wedding for June and not having enough time for either.

They are my thoughts anyway, I hope it helps! Or at least, just provides another point of view to think about. Good luck whatever you decide!

Your sister could go two weeks early or two weeks late so she won't know yet if she could come. I guess shes still in her first trimester which is still very early. Half of me agrees with what everyone is saying about moving the wedding bcus its your sister but i would chat with her and mum and see how everyone feels about it. Would your mum want to be there with your sister?? (mine would; no reflection on us) I think your sister is preparing you for the worst. My BM is due two days after the wedding and we will just have to play it by ear as to whether she can come.

Price it all up to move. have a good chat with your family and OH then decide.

I think that if she is due around the date of your wedding it will also be stressful for your parents. Babies don't arrive on demand and not always smoothly. Your sister may be in labour on the day or in hospital, already delivered or still waiting. Your parents will also want to be with her as well as you. I don't think you should be upset with your sister if you need to change your plans as babies aren't always that easy to plan and it would also be a shame if you couldn't enjoy her happiness together. I would put the wedding back if you want the same wedding, bring it forwards if you are willing to be flexible.

TBH I don't think you should be upset with your sister as she shouldn't be expected to plan around your wedding BUT I also don't think you should feel you have to move your wedding to plan around her pregnancy. Both are big milestones in someones live and both take a lot of planning.

I think you need to think about how much you want your sister there and also think about your OH in relation to his bestman (only you know how close they are). I have been planning my wedding for around 2 1/2 years and would be pretty upset if 6 months before I had to move it and try and rebook all the suppliers that said I don't think I would want to take the risk of my sister going into labor on the day and my parents having to miss it!

Hope my long ramble helps in some way!

Just a side note! Did she know she was pregnant when you booked your date? Just you said a couple of months ago you booked the venue and she in due in June? That would upset me a bit tbh!

In this situation it would upset me because a quick note saying we are trying now ,if you know you have just conceived and are not close enough to your sister to tell her straight away (which I am with mine), would have meant the wedding could have been arranged for a month or 2 later to begin with and there would never have been a problem.

I understand that pregnancy's are not smooth sailing and there is never a guarantee but I think the reason it would upset me is that 1) my sister didn't feel like she could tell me and 2) she didn't feel close enough to me to suggest I move it back a month even without a reason.

If you still have options to move the wedding, and it's important to you that your sister is there, then I would look at your options.

As Sange said, there are so many reasons why people don't discuss their plans for babies with others, even their closest family, so you really can't hold this against her.

To put it in perspective, at least she has a good reason. My sister is not coming to my hen night, and at this rate possibly not my wedding, because she 'has better things to do'. Sometimes you just have to take the rough with the smooth when it comes to planning your wedding, do what you want to do but allow other people the same liberty.

I can only agree with Sange tbh.

Oh and congrats on bump Sange!

Thanks for everyones replies. Sorry to hear some of you got quite angry with my opinion, but when I booked the date I asked my sister if that was okay and she could have easily said 'Well it should be but there is a chance I might be having a baby around then.' She knew when the date of the wedding was, she only needed to avoid one fertile window! I wasn't expecting her to hold off trying all together! When I booked the wedding we had two dates to choose from from the venue, April or September and my brothers baby is due in April so we went with September. I just feel like we are trying to plan our wedding around too many people. Obviously I'm over the moon for my sister and very excited about having another little niece/nephew on the way. My other sister has been wanting to try to conceive for her second but she has waited (for other reasons too) but we got bridesmaids dresses that would fit her if she did get pregnant before the wedding.

As for the person who have said 'you can't plan that love' about having a baby... er yes you can! You avoid one month of trying - no biggy. I don't know why people get so funny about that. I know of some guests who have already booked hotels for the date, and my OH's family are coming from Ireland and may have also done the same. There is only one date left available and it's in June and I'm worried we wont have enough money to pay for everything by then. Unfortunately we can't defer the wedding because the venue charges £500 for deferring a date. ☹️

In reply to the above post, we booked the wedding in November and my sister found out she was a few weeks pregnant in January. She had tried for a baby for 2 months. Also thanks for being the only one who has seen it from both sides! xxx

I can totally understand how you feel. Its hard when you start trying to accommodate everyone and I feel a little saddend at everyones response. I dont think you suggested you were angry at your sister rather that you are upset and not having your sister and dissapointed with the way it has worked out. But look, your sister could give birth 2 weeks before or 2 weeks afterwards so there is still a chance it will work out ok. Having people amend hotels, flights etc is pretty hard to do and will make a lot of other people stressed out too.

I hope you figure out soon what to do...but make a decision and stick with it. Its still very much your day and you will love it with or without your sister there. xx

First i have to agree that its unfair that you thought your sister would hold off motherhood for your wedding, people plan weddings so far in advance there is always a chance of people getting pregnant or having a baby. i have had 2 children and they don't give you the real due date till your scan, it might be the same as the one she will have now or it could be a few days out, even then babys come anytime from 3 weeks before to 10 days after, so the chance of her giving birth a few days before your wedding is low. However what would your family want to do if she did have the baby? if she ended up having the baby the night before or on the day would your mum want to be there, and how would you feel if your mum wanted to leave early to go to the hospital? or even be there to attend the birth? that would be my biggest worry! Seeing your grandchild being born vs your daughters wedding isn't a easy choice and you could lose out!

Ask your mum what the plan would be if that were to happen first, because if your risking your mum AND sister not being there,it might be worth cashing in on your wedding insurance and getting new supplers!!

I'm actually really appalled at this, that one fertile window that you wanted her to miss, is the one she got pregnant in. So for your sister i'm sure it was a 'biggy'.

I actually think your being quite selfish, your wedding revolves around you and that's understandable but it doesn't revolve around everyone else.

I hope when you make a decision it's what's best for all of you.

Thanks! Yeah I was quite surprised at some of the responses. No I never said I was angry, in fact I was really upset she might not be there, I was in tears on and off for weeks. I have spoken to my mum and she said she would come to our wedding 'come hell or high water' and that if my sister was giving birth on the wedding day then Mum would drive up the day after to see her. Thank you for being understanding, I have decided to leave the wedding date as it is, because I think if I change it then there is a chance some other important people wont be able to make it. xxx