Sisters as Bridesmaids

Very simply say that if she doesn't attend a dress will be picked for her by you and the other BMs... its pretty common and its no one else's fault she wont attend, if she doesn't like it too bad

I didn't shop for BM dresses with all the BMs present on all occasions. It was more organic than that!

Is it not possible to go and get some ideas, shop around, then ask others to go more locally to view/try?

Hiya,

I had to reply because this just sounds exactly like my sister, It was like reading about my life ha ha. Like you we dont get on and she is a very selfish person, my parents always take her side too (mostly my mum) it drives me nuts!!

I asked her to be a BM for our wedding in October, im only having the one because its only a small wedding (17 people) I havnt even been enagaged a month and I can already see im going to have BIG problems with her. She doesnt like the flowers I have picked or the dresses I have seen and is just refusing to go along with any of it and my mum will back her 100%. Like you if I say anything, its ME being selfish and there will be a huge argument because my mum just cant see it from my side at all. My mum would sooner fall out with me than upset her and that has happened in the past over things.

My boyfriend is really annoyed by it all, he doesnt like her at the best of times but she is really starting to get to him now. I dont know what to do for the best either, I feel a bit stuck really ☹️

Hi Bean 2304 I think we may have the same sister and mother. Is it possible they've been cloned?!! Joking aside, your life is like the double of mine. My sister is going through a very messy divorce and constantly in court battling for custody of her son (which she's not going to get but my family think she will....) My mum and dad just throw money at her and she just laps it up. She ignores all my messages and those of my MOH who is trying to plan my hen do. She's always been very selfish and my mum ALWAYS takes her side. She twists things to make them eblieve everything she says, she's so manipulative. Around Xmas last year M&D started to see the light but unfortunately that was short lived expecially since she's had another baby. (OH calls her 2by2 ?) I bought my dress in Yorkshire where my OH parents live (he was at the football) and my parents live in london. I was told how selfish I am to ask my mum to come look at the dress because of how far away it is. We live in Newcastle. I've spoken to FSIL whos said I should maybe ask Sister if she thinks maybe its too much stress for her. Tell her to take a running jump but in a really diplomatic way!

Hi DebbiBunn,

Unfortunately I don't have much practical advice as I'm not in a similar situation but I didn't want to read and run as it sounds so awful for you

Maybe a bit controversial, but if I were you I'd just stick to your guns throughout the whole process....if she can't make appointments then she's no one to blame but herself. Try not to give her any important tasks as it sounds as though she may well let you down. If your parents always take her side, then that's really unfair but like I said stick to your guns....so long as you inside that you've tried your best then that's all you need. Maybe your parents are being protective towards her as they view that she's been through a lot? Difficult to answer properly though as I only know the complete basics of your situation and I'm sure it's much more complicated.

Keeping my fingers crossed it all works out for you though xx

This.

I actually only had 2 bridesmaids, who were both my sisters. My youngest sister found the bridesmaid dresses in the end, after I explained what colour/style I thought would look nice etc.