Skype-ing the ceremony

Our registrar is offering this during a our service. Not too sure if it'll cost extra, but don't think we will need it. Just ask them if they will allow it

It's someone attending who is thinking about skyping to someone else, I don't think they were going to ask anyone to do it.

I'd prefer them to not do it if I'm honest but not sure if it's just me. I would rather they were watching the ceremony rather than fiddling with an ipad essentially recording it....

If you're not happy with it then I think you should have the final say. Are they planning to Skype someone you would have wanted at your wedding but can't make it for some reason - distance/health for example? Do you object to the guest being distracted, or the person they are skyping?

On the other side of the coin, I attended my Granddads funeral by skype last year and it meant the world to me. I couldn't attend because of the distance to travel. My cousin Skyped me from her phone and I saw and heard the whole service, she even held the hymn book in front of the camera so I could sing the hymns. AIt meant the world to me to be able to be a part of the day.

If you are not happy about it just ask the registrar to make an announcement at the start of the ceremony that no photography or videography is allowed except by the paid professional.

Trust me, the registrar will be more than happy to oblige.

Who are they wanting to skype? My mum really wanted to Skype my grandparents during my ceremony, but I pointed out that

a) there was no wifi in the church and our ipads are wifi only

b) my grandparents have no concept how to use skype/what it even is, and at 91 and 86 and infirm they're unlikely to learn now

c) they'd have noone to set it up for them as all family member would be at the church!

d) I didn't want any guests distracted from the actual ceremony by doing the filming

YK, i totally see your point about your granddads funeral, but I think in my case my grandparents would just have been bamboozled by it all, and will be much happier with a nice photo album instead!

They want to skype a sibling, but we aren't close to them ( to the extent we weren't invited to their wedding as "they didn't know where we lived") if they were in the country we would have invited them because, well you just do, but not because we are close or anything.

i don't really know why I'm not keen-it is a lot to do with the logistics, and also just generally not keen on it being filmed. I don't mind people taking pictures at appropriate times but I don't want to be aware of an ipad being used to film in, and the inevitable muttering so between them about move it this way, or sit there you'll get a better view etc etc.

i think I would rather the decision was not mine-if the venue said no it would make my life much easier. We don't have a close relationship with the family and I don't want this to be used as more ammunition, but I also don't feel comfortable about it and the ceremony is the focal point of the day.

Why not use a little white lie. Tell them that the venue/registrar/photographer/videographer or someone has said that there's to be no filming during the ceremony.

Or ask everyone to switch their phones/ipads off during the ceremony?

I actually expected everyone to think I'm being a complete b*tch so I'm really grateful you haven't.

i think perhaps the no phones thing may just work. I can discretely ask the registrar to do this in advance! Cunning plan thanks!

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all - neither H or I wanted to be videoed on the day, we were happy with photos (and I LOVE the photos the tog took of our vows), but videoing would have been too much. We got away with it as our church charged a hefty fee for any videography (something to do with music copyright), so we used that as an excuse!

I'm with this idea, at least that way you get to have your say but not look like it's you just being funny about it. I would only contemplate on allowing it myself if it was to a guest who was invited but couldnt make it for a proper reason.

If you had wanted this sibling at your wedding, you would have invited them. If someone wanted to skype to a friend/relative I was close to who couldn't make it, then fair enough. But to live film it for someone I'm not close to, no. That's too personal IMO. You can ask your registrar to make an announcement at the beginning of the ceremony about filming, but to be honest that still might not put your guest off, they might just try and do it discreetly. If it was me, I would probably say something to your guest in advance along the lines of 'we just want to keep it intimate between us and our guests.'

Unfortunately, this got raised again. We still haven't actually been asked if we mind. To say I'm pi55ed off is an understatement. OH is also not too keen thankfully so I think between us we will find a way. I tried to tactfully put them off by saying I'm not sure it's allowed/not sure you'd hear or see much. Neither worked. No hints of our unhappiness were picked up on! Unfortunately I often feel backed into corners by the in laws and this is another example.

This is what I would do. You've hinted that it might not be possible, I'd just contact them and say you'd checked to see if it would be okay, but unfortunately it's not allowed, the rules can't be changed, etc etc.

You get your way, without causing an argument as you've 'tried your best'.

You and your OH agree that you're not keen so why not just tell them that. You say they are your in-laws. Why doesn't your OH just tell them you BOTH don't like the idea.

Personally, i don't think you'll notice on the day, but if you don't want it then that's your choice and you're just going to have to tell them.

I'm planning on having an "unplugged" ceremony, so I'm totally with you! Only thing that would prevent this from happening would be if either of our grandparents with Skype were unable to attend... if you didn't want it I'd definitely just say you don't want any devices being used during the ceremony