Slightly disappointed my BMs haven't offered to organise my hen for me

That's a shame. Maybe this way you will definitely get everything exactly as you want it. Are you sure they are not planning a surprise Hen Do for you?? W did that for one of my friends, she just thought it was a meal out and we surprised her with lots of family and friends.

I'm only having child bridesmaids (2 yr old flower girl, an 11yr old and two 14 year olds) so my besties (x6 - which is why they are not bridesmaids) have taken it upon themselves to organise my hen do, the only thing I know is the date 11th October! 3 weeks before the wedding!

Maybe your BM will get more involved and they might have some surprises for you on the night/weekend too!

xx

My bridesmaids were organising mine as a surprise and I was really excited but sil2b ruined the whole thing and kicked off and basically didn't want to do anything so now it's all poop and instead of being excited I've been upset.

At least you'll get exactly what you want for your day and no drama from bridesmaids! X

I haven't got any older bridesmaids but did expect a couple of close people to step in and take charge. Unfortunately they didn't and I've organised that along with every second of the wedding on my own. It's nice as like you I'm a control freak but I'm also a little hurt I'm expected to do it all x

If it is still over a year til your wedding, perhaps they were just expecting to get things moving a little closer to the time?

Our wedding is just under 10 months away and it is only this week that we agreed a date for our stag and hen do's. Even then it seems a long way in advance!

Maybe your bridesmaids fully intended to help/offer to help, and they probably still do - but maybe they expected to get started later in the year?

Don't get hurt over it - there is loads of time for it all to come together yet.

I agree with Kimiu, it really is quite a long time till your wedding and most hen/stag nights are within a couple of months of the actual wedding. They may well have been thinking of things to do closer to the time.

Mine didn't offer either, they haven't offered to do anything! OH paid for me & one of the bridesmaids (the other lives miles away) to have a spa day a couple of weeks ago as he was so worried that I wouldn't get any hen do at all bless him. Good job he did, though I wasn't really bothered about having one else I would have made more of a fuss!

I agree that maybe they are waiting until a bit closer to the time? I haven't sorted out a date or anything yet - I must email my BMs to "introduce" them to each other!

As others have said, at least if you do organise something yourself, you'll have complete control!

Maybe they think that you want to organise it if you usually like to be in control? I booked mine because I didn't think my BM's would want to, but now they have taken over to sort the details out. I know where we are staying and who's going but all the details are being arranged without me and I know there's a few surprises in store. Like others have said, maybe they are just waiting until nearer the time.

I get married in 18 weeks, don't have any adult bridesmaids and haven't done anything toward organising a hen do yet. You have more than a year to go. It's really not a surprise that they haven't mentioned your hen yet - you're putting things in motion way, way in advance of what would usually be expected for a hen do.

If you want them to be involved, ask them. I'm sure they just didn't think you'd be sorting things out for your hen so early.

I'm a control freak too and planned my own. My BMs did want to plan mine but I put my foot down and said I wanted to do it. Good job I did too!

I started planning dates etc a year in advance as it was a whole weekend we were planning and I wanted to give them plenty of time to save up. They moaned that I was planning ahead too far but I know if I'd left it til nearer the time they'd have moaned about not having enough time to save!

They did plan a few surprises for me though which was nice. They knew what I would hate so they avoided that thankfully. Maybe your BMs will come up with some things to surprise you too.

Thank you for all your replies. The reason I'm starting to organise it now is because it's a 3 day weekend away, and with 4 out the 12 girls being teachers we can only go in school hol time. These weekends are more likely to get booked up so decided to start early. They did know I was thinking of sorting it soon for this reason. And with it being a full weekend with various activities I wanted them to have plenty of time to save up.

You're right they could have thought I would rather plan it myself, hopefully they add some surprises in!

xXx