Small and intimate or loud and proud?

I think it depends on you and also your budget. If you want & the budget will stretch then a village hall for a large party would be great for sharing with friends, but if you can only afford a small intimate ceremony for family then this is also perfectly acceptable. It is entirely up to you.

I think it depends on the person / couple.

For me and OH, it has to be loud and proud, as that kind of represents our personality. I don't mind shouting from the rooftops that I love him and he is the same! I'll tell him I love him regardless of who is watching, hehe.

For my mom and step dad, it was always going to be small and intimate as that mirrors their personality and relationship - it's very much for their eye's only. While they love each other dearly, it's a completely personal thing to them and in 7 years I have only ever heard then say "I love you" once - on their wedding day. So the quiter do suited them perfectly too.

Mine is exactly a small intimate ceremony with 15 guests! This is due to it being what we want and not budget constraints, could have had a big do for same budget but would instead taking our guests away for a few days and having the ceremony then, we are going to have a meal with friends when we get back so they get chance to celebrate with us too

Are you wearing a proper wedding dress? An are you not tempted to wear it again for meal with friends!? And are you paying for them or are they just celebrating with you. Sorry about all the questions, im new to all this and i dont know what the 'done thing' is xxx

I am wearing a proper wedding dress, it is not a big dress tho as that is not really my style, it is a beaded bias cut one, not sure about wearing it for meal with friends yet, I have had requests from a couple of them that I should but where we are going for meal is near a load of bars and people will proabably go out afterwards so wouldnt want to be wearing my dress then!! So undecided on that one yet. We are not paying for meal with friends and they are all fine with that, tbh it will be cheaper than attending a wedding anyways with the outfit, gift, accomodation etc, we are going to lay on a welcome drink tho and poss some canapes when they arrive.

Im not really sure what the done thing is either but this is working for us so far anyways lol x

I'm going for the big bash but to be honest it's not really to do with money- i think if we had went for a smaller ceremony we would have spent the same but in different ways- maybe a different venue or more paid for more for smaller amount of guests.

We both have big families and wanted our friends there as well so the big bash it was but i think everyone is different- i know i had always dreamed of a big wedding so a small ceremony wouldn't have been for me

Our wedding is going to be a big one, but still only close friends and family, we have 122 in the day and 200 evening, but the hotel we are having we are taking over the whole hotel so it will just be us and family and friends. x

Initially we booked a small wedding for 25 family members, but after a few months of planning I got very upset imagining getting married without my friends there. So then we went to the other extreme and had 155 in the day and about 180 at night! I'm really glad we did, I surprised myself actually as I'm quite shy, but I really enjoyed having a big do and speaking to extended family and friends. I also LOVE to dance so that swung be towards a big wedding too.

I think both an intimate celebration and a big celebration have their merits - when you think about your wedding day, what do you imagine? Who do you see there? What couldn't you do without? Obviously I don't know what your budget is but could you have the ceremony and meal with the 15 of you then the village hall at night?

We're getting the best of both worlds really, we're having the very small intimate wedding day and then we're having a massive party when we get home.

TBH the party is down to my MIL who insisted, on the grounds that she won't be at our actual wedding and still wants a chance to celebrate and 'show us off' (her words, not mine!), otherwise I'm not really sure if it would be happening. OH and I both work in very anti social jobs, so tend to have 100's of acquaintances but not too many true friends and along with the big families that we never see, we didn't want a wedding where we were paying for people to be there because we felt obliged to invite them too because such-and-such had been invited. It's not so bad if it's just for a party instead of a wedding reception as the costs involved will be way lower (hopefully). Unfortunately, any family issues will still be there, but if they don't behave themselves then I shall just have to bang some heads together!?

I guess that means that even if we had been doing it in the UK in the traditional manner, we would still be having a small intimate wedding and also a small reception because OH and I are tightwads and don't want to spend serious money on hundreds of hangers-on enjoying themselves when we could be getting something we need/want with the money instead!?? Would be lovely, if money were no object, though?

If money or time wasnt an issue id go the whole hog and a big traditional do, but to cut a long story short, partner's in the army, and to move with him we have to get married sooner rather than later and saving up for a big do. So basically its a nice flashy meal for a few or a cheap do at village hall for everyone. Altho im not a fan of village halls, they seem to be our only options xx

Hi Shelley,

I think this is a very personal thing, for me I decided to have a very intimate meal with just close friends and family in the day, then had another larger room for the evening party with the rest of our friends. and this was perfict for us, but everyone is different.

Looks like it just depends on your budget really.

I'm sure what ever you do it will be special.?

What is most important to you? the venue or having all the people you want there? I think it fully depends on your own priorities! There are some lovely village halls that can be done up chaply with flowers and bunting etc or if you dont hyave one you like do you have any friend/relatives with a big garden that you could put a marquee in and cater yourself!

If your friends and family know your situation they might be happy to pay for a meal somewhere to celebrate if you keep it affordable,maybe a nice local pub where you could book an entire room then you could arrange for them to have a welcome drink and a dessert (your cake!) and pay the rest themselves. If you are going to do this tho I would probably speak to everyone individually first along the lines of 'would love you to celebrate our wedding with us, due to budget we are not having a reception but if you would like to join us at *** for a meal following the ceremony, everyone will be buying their own meal so we fully understand if you are unable to come but our only other option would be to not invite anyone bar our closest family and that would mean people who mean a lot to us would not have the opportunity to join our celebrations!' so there is no confusion when it comes to the day!

Village Halls can be made to look fab with just a bit of imagination & a small budget, I have decorated lots in the past. If you want to see any pics of what they can look like let me know, I have before & after pics of what we have achieved in them.

Ok you are right some village halls are tatty and grotty and not well looked after, but there are others that as much as they are a blank canvas can be turned into stunning affairs! I am having my reception at the local village hall - for many reasons but mostly relating to cost, close to family, and i could design the room i wanted!

This is my village hall decked up for someone elses wedding

The room can have 150 people for a sit down meal, but i am only having 50 guests if that as i would rather it just my nearest and dearest and not another 100 aquantances. My village hall is only 5 years old and is very well looked after and has a high ceiling height to allow people to play badminton in it randomly.... It is also set away from houses so not disturbing people with the party and its own carpark.

If you want a bigger do then I would say go find a good village hall that fits your criteria I looked at 6 before deciding on the one i wanted

Shelly - it might be worth putting a call out for bride's holding their weddings in a villiage hall, I don't know the hitchers name, but I have seen snippets of one B2b's plans for a villiage hall reception and I honestly think he venue is going to look as, if not more, stunning than some of the expensive venue's we viewed and ruled out due to cost.!

There might be an old married now too come to think of it, I remember reading a report a while back about getting tables into a villiage hall, and the bride was pregnant and banned from doing the work, perhaps Natty89?!

I know it depends on how nice your hall is to begin with (My local ones are poor! Very poor!) but worth a little look? I hate to see any bride giving up on her dream wedding.

Thanks girls maybe i shouldnt judge a village hall by its cover ha! I should at least go look around inside and use a bit of imagination. That picture posted looks stunning actually, altho i wouldnt be able to afford a sit down meal, i was thinking hog roast or buffet. Do you still think that would go? And obv the costs of linen, covers etc etc. Its def worth looking into a bit more tho. How much u reckon to kit out a hall? xxxxxxx

Shelley - I am having a hogroast from the local butcher @ £280 and then we are buying in the buffet from waitrose entertaining - I didn't want a sit down meal, I can't eat three courses without making myself feel sick....

Not sure about how much decorations would cost depends on what you want, my MIL is making the bunting from scrap material for us as she is a seamstress. You can use sheets as tablecloths if you can't afford to hire them. I am not bothering with chair covers - not worth the money in my book. You can make a lot of decorations out of paper and use your houseplants to bring some greenery,or buy some and give them away as thank you presents....

Both of these weddings were in Village Halls & both of them had a Hog Roast & buffet as they both had big families & catering for a sit down meal would hhave been too much. One still had all of the tables set for a sit down but they helped themselves to food.

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