So...when couples ask for money towards their honeymoon fund how much do you give?!

Whatever you would have spent if you were buying a gift, simple as. X

As a day guest I would give £50 min (or £100 from both me and OH if we both invited) depending how close I am to the person.

As an evening guest around £30 (again double that if OH was invited too)

I believe the American way is to give the equivalent of what your meal would cost.

The problem is that I haven't been to many weddings so I'm not sure how much is a "standard amount" (please excuse the phrase) to spend on a gift! : )

There is no set amounts it's really based on how close you are and what you can afford. If she's a good friend and you're going to the whole wedding and you can afford perhaps around £50, but it is such a ballpark figure. X

I have the power to literally work out the 'average' gift for a wedding within 3 seconds flat, as I spreadsheeted all our wedding cards and gifts to ensure I kept a proper log ready for sending out thank you cards in a few weeks (currently getting them printed).

I'm kinda too scared to help you out by doing that though, as it might taint my thoughts a bit..... I might just prefer to remain in blissful ignorance I think....maybe.

With absolute power, comes absolute corruption, eh?

This is kinda what I've always followed too Funky. I'm sure my mother (not American) told me as a child that wedding gifts should match or exceed the meal cost, so that's why I've always thought of £50 gifts pp I suppose. I wouldn't upgrade the present for people who had a posher venue/meal nor downgrade it for a pub venue/meal, so that £50 has been a bit of a guide for me I guess.

So is the general consensus £50 each (so £100 as OH is invited too)?

She's one of my oldest friends but I was still thinking along the lines of £50 between us (plus the small gift)!

Oh no am I being stingy?! ?

No, that's fine if that's what you were thinking!

If you had something in mind, you shouldn't have asked us lot, as we'll all come back with random amounts that will just confuse you!

It really is one of those 'how long is a piece of string' questions ?

Edit: and as a new OM, I can honestly say that you don't get gifts from family and friends and think 'jeeeez that's stingy' or 'wowww, that's so over the top' and think of your guests any differently to you did before. I only had one such thought, about one particular guest couple as I was just really surprised by their gift. We went to their wedding really recently, and they had quite a pricey House of Fraser gift list, with items up to £480 on it and which we felt obliged to buy an expensive gift from. They gave us a third of the value back as a gift, which I did immediately notice due to the proximity of our two weddings. So yes, I did judge them for that decision on their part. But I also take that as a lesson learnt !

Not at all! I think that's perfectly normal. Maybe depends on age/life stage etc too. Most of my friends are in the process of saving to buy houses so I would be very surprised if they had £100 to give us and wouldn't want them to at the expense of securing their own futures either!

My friend is getting married in September and me and my OH are invited and I was going to give £50 as we couldn't really afford to give £100 but from recent conversations with her she said she would give £50 as a gift at her friends wedding and £100 as a gift if it were her family.

I would say give what you can afford. Personally, we would find it difficult to manage £100 as a gift, even £50 would be a struggle but we would judge it on closeness of the wedding couple (most for family, least for work colleagues for example) And we would give a gift regardless of day or evening invitation x

I second the "give what you can afford".

I tend to give between £30-50 as others have said, but only because I could afford it at the time. Now we're saving hard for our wedding it'll probably be a bit less (but the next wedding we're going to is November so I'm sure we can scrape together a decent amount by then)

I say give what you are comfortable with. At our wedding we recived a huge variation in gifts but I don't think any more or less of my friends/family beacuse of it. Also I agree with everyone else it depends on situations for example some of our friends are building a house have two chilren under two and are getting marired in 3 weeks time so money is tight. They still gave us a gift which i was delighted with as just having them there was great as they are so busy. I give what I would have spent on a gift, when I was a student I went to a weddign in Ireland which was over NYE in a very posh hotel which meant my flights and room took all my money so I was only able to give a token gift. Now I have done all the expensive things like buying a house and getting married I am able to give a bit more.

I've only been to a few weddings in recent years and we give cash or gift around £50 value between us. Neither of us earn massive amounts and it's been all we could afford at the time.

We got mostly vouchers for our wedding and the average amount from extended family & friends was around £40-£50 too.

Completely depends on what you can afford!

Our best friends got married this week and although we bought them a gift it was about £50 - £75 in value which to be fair for us was a lot. If we were doing cash I think we would have probably given about £50. If things were a bit better for us it would have been about £75 - £100

Absolutely what you can afford. For some people, giving £100 per couple might leave them a bit uncomfortable, for others that might simply be something they'd spend within their own lives without giving too much thought (i.e. going out for a meal on a week night and not thinking twice about it?)

If I were going to a wedding of someone I'm not that close to, I'd probably give what I could comfortably afford at that moment, if it is someone very dear to me and I want to make a 'special' contribution, i'd probably budget in advance for it (as you would for a partners/parents/best friends birthday)

hth

Goodness me! I'm amazed to see the values on here, I think I would be a little embarrassed if we were given £100 as a present! We've invited everyone to our wedding because we want them to be there, we're not expecting them to pay their way. To be honest I'll be perfectly happy with £20 for day guests and maybe a tenner for evening guests. Go with what feels right for you, I'm sure they'll appreciate it no matter what.

I'm with you on this. Last wedding we went to as an evening guest we gave £20 as a couple (we had payed over £300 between us on hen/stag weekends though).

The wedding before that was OHs cousins' wedding which we gave £30 as day guests i wanted to give £40, but FMIL said we couldn't give that much as would make the rest of the family look bad - aunts/uncles were giving £20 and other cousin and his OH were giving £10 - we said that we were only giving £20 but i felt bad.

I think £30-50 is pretty reasonable.

I had NO idea how much money is usually given at weddings... £50 per person?!?!? Geez if we get that, that will be one awesome honeymoon!!! Hahahaha!

I usually give £20 - £60 and that's when two of us go. (depending on how close we are to the couple). Weddings are expensive enough there's no way I'd spend £100 for a day. I see it as I'm invited because they want me there, not that they want me to pay to go.

These prices seem high to me and not to start a debate or anything but im wondering if this is a social 'class' thing (like how living in london cost more etc...) some of the weddings ive been too barely cost more than £100 to put together lol and it seems pretty common in our very northern little pit villages

the majority I have attended have included mostly:

register office

free room hire at local working club

hand-me-downs/second hand items or sale high street items (like dresses)

family doing photos

home made cake + buffet (normally sandwiches + iceland platters)

no decorations/centerpieces

favor bubbles from poundland

music on a cd player

mainly the idea is just family sitting round and talking so if everyone gave £50 - £100 pounds it would come out as far more than the weddings actually cost, these weddings are common in my family (although ive been to a few non-family weddings the same) and the same template is used for birthdays aswell lol

I have only actually been to 1 wedding which looked like what you imagine of a wedding from magazines (church, country hotel, sit down meal, professional photographer, flowers etc...)

Ok, I'm gonna sound proper tight now.

Me and my friends all have pretty decent jobs, but at a wedding a couple of weeks back, my friends that went in the day gave £20 & me and a friend that went on the niight just gave £10.

1 of the girls that went in the day also had her hubby there and they are really close to the bride and groom.

I'm going to h2b's cousins wedding soon and we will be giving them £20.

Give what you want and what u can afford x

Ok, I'm gonna sound proper tight now.

Me and my friends all have pretty decent jobs, but at a wedding a couple of weeks back, my friends that went in the day gave £20 & me and a friend that went on the niight just gave £10.

1 of the girls that went in the day also had her hubby there and they are really close to the bride and groom.

I'm going to h2b's cousins wedding soon and we will be giving them £20.

Give what you want and what u can afford , nothing is right or wrong x

That's exactly what my mum expects me to have, haha. She thinks it's madness that we're spending so much on the one day but honestly, I don't want a pint in the local afterwards (it's not very 'me'). My mum always said I was the posh one, so maybe you're on to something!

OP - I agree with everyone here. What you can afford is all you can give. OH and I gave £30 at a wedding last month as evening guests - we have three children so any more than that would have been impossible to manage.

Thank you everyone for your suggestions : ) I know there is no specific answer so I really appreciate you giving your opinions, you've all been really helpful x