Speeches: before meal or after?

After for us and it worked out really well as the speeches were longer than expected (wow our best man could talk) but everyone seemed to listen because they were so full and not wondering where the food was.

H said he was relaxed after the wedding as he was more nervous about that.

We are going for the before meal option.

I am prepared that the audience wont be hammered so not as much ? maybe. However I want the boys making the speeches to actually enjoy their food ?

quote:Originally posted by Spring
After for us and it worked out really well as the speeches were longer than expected (wow our best man could talk) but everyone seemed to listen because they were so full and not wondering where the food wasid="red">.

H said he was relaxed after the wedding as he was more nervous about that.

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Good point - not thought about that!

We are having speeches before the meal however having lots of champagne with canapes first so wont be completly cold. My Father owned a very sucessful advertising agency so is very used to doing speeches and is amazing at them however he still asked to do it first so he could actually enjoy his meal as this was a very special speech he is going to be nervous and emotional! My H2b and his best man loved the idea of doing it early too so they could both enjoy their meal and get stuck into the champagne!

I think probably before the meal so the boys can enjoy their food. The ceremony's at 3pm and dinner about 5.30pm so people should have had time for lunch before the wedding and not be getting too hungry by then.

After, we're getting married at 3pm so I think everyone will be starving and not want to listen to them otherwise! Also our caterers pointed out that if anyone goes way over on how long they should speak for (much more likely when people are nervous) it could ruin dinner. Having said all of that, if I was doing a speech I'd rather do it before dinner!

One other option is to do speeches between courses.

I haven't discussed it with anyone yet and no decision has been made. I thought it was the 'done thing' to do speeches first and hadn't really thought about doing them after. h2b's BM has been worried about the speech since h2b asked him (January 12th) and I don't think h2b is particularly looking forward to it! My Dad has already written his speech. I know he's going to make me cry. He always makes someone cry! This time I think he may even cry himself.

quote:Originally posted by Melancholie
I haven't discussed it with anyone yet and no decision has been made. I thought it was the 'done thing' to do speeches first and hadn't really thought about doing them after. h2b's BM has been worried about the speech since h2b asked him (January 12th) and I don't think h2b is particularly looking forward to it! My Dad has already written his speech. I know he's going to make me cry. He always makes someone cry! This time I think he may even cry himself.

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Aww, ?

I always thought it was the norm to do the speeches after. although after reading this and relaying to other half, we are now thinking of having them before. I know how nervous all the men will be so getting them out of the way before food would be great.

Just asked h2b. He said, "Before. Get it out of the way." ?

Definately before.

Ours are going to be quite short as well, and I just think everybody enjoys the meal more this way.

I was thinking before, i suppose i had better ask OH apparently it's his day too.?

quote:Originally posted by Costello08.
I was thinking before, i suppose i had better ask OH apparently it's his day tooid="red">.?

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This sort of vicious rumour needs stamping out right away ?

We went for the before option as OH, my Dad and best man were quaking in their boots at the very thought of it. All the speeches were short, a few mins for my Dad and OH and about 10 mins for the best man.

I suppose it depends on the people delivering the speeches, if they feel confident about it and are intending on saying quite a bit, after the meal may be better, otherwise, your guests may be left thinking - get a move on, we're starving ?

Ours was during but unknown to me, mr c got a bit nervous so didn't enjoy his meal as much. ☹️

and he missed the cheese board as it was cleared away during his speech. something he reminds me of every time we go out and theres a cheese option...'oh i'll have this as i missed out at the wedding'. not bitter. much. ?

so next time i get married i'll have the speeches beforehand ?

I like the idea of doing them before the meal BUT I was at a wedding where this happened and the speeches went on a lot longer than anticipated and the meal was ruined! Someone got up and waffled on for half an hour! Very annoying if that happens after the meal, but potentially disastrous if they do it beforehand!

So make sure your speech givers know how long they have and keep strictly to timing and be very very very careful if you're opening the floor.

Pen

It will be after for us i think, like someone else said, i think the audience will not be as 'up for it' before hand

My husband (at the time to be) and his best man begged me for the before option because they wanted to enjoy their meal. i admit that i wasn't sure, but considering i wasn't delivering a speech, we decided that before the meal was the best option.

in my opinion our guests were more receptive because they hadn't been sitting down for any length of time neither did they feel the need to pee or have a smoke.

if you have children attending the wedding they are more likely to sit still and quietly at the beginning rather than the end when they are restless.

My H2B wants to talk before he eats!!

Never again will we spend so much money on food, so he might as well enjoy it ?

We had speeches before the meal.

We'd already had an hour or so out in the garden with champagne and canapes so everyone was a) slightly drunk and b) not starving, and thus were in a receptive mood for the speeches.

the main reason I decided to go for before the meal was because our 2 Best Men are notorious drinkers and I thought they stood more chance of being vaguely intelligible before the meal.

quote:Originally posted by AllyDrew
We had speeches before the meal.

We'd already had an hour or so out in the garden with champagne and canapes so everyone was a) slightly drunk and b) not starving, and thus were in a receptive mood for the speeches.

the main reason I decided to go for before the meal was because our 2 Best Men are notorious drinkers and I thought they stood more chance of being vaguely intelligible before the meal.id="red">

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This is also a factor in our decision!!! ?

My h2b wants ours before and as it is him not me doing it I will let him do as he chooses, he says he wont enjoy his meal for worrying about it so wants to get it out of the way. We are telling everyone we want short speeches aswell, we dont want the evening guest arriving before my dad finishes!

We're going to have ours before.

Although, if our wedding coordinator gets her way it'll be after. I have already corrected her running order more than once and yesterday I received an updated copy with 7.30pm- speeches. Well, I'm sorry to say I lost it with her... and have been a total bridezilla and reminded her whose day it was! I haven't heard back from her since.

quote:Originally posted by AllyDrew
We had speeches before the meal.

We'd already had an hour or so out in the garden with champagne and canapes so everyone was a) slightly drunk and b) not starving, and thus were in a receptive mood for the speeches.

the main reason I decided to go for before the meal was because our 2 Best Men are notorious drinkers and I thought they stood more chance of being vaguely intelligible before the meal.

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After your wedding this is why I want them before - meant I could go to the loo after eating without missing anything.

Also means my dad, who hates public speaking, can get it over with and enjoy the rest of the evening. And I can get all the embarrassments out of the way quickly. Guess I had better check with 'im indoors though as he's worried everyone will be too pissed if we do speeches before food. Our lot? Pissed? Never! ?

Before, I think everyone's attention span after a few drinks is zero and things tend to get a bit rowdy.

I had no preference but my OH wants before!

quote:Originally posted by claires
it will be after for us i think, like someone else said, i think the audience will not be as 'up for it' before hand

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WCS - Our 'speakers' are fine with doing them after and have actually said themselves that they'll be more relaxed doing them if they think people are a bit merry, fed and settled.

Before the meal we think people will be a bit more 'stiff' and not as 'up for it' and also waiting to be fed!

Those that are thinking of having them before need to double check with the venue - many venues do not allow this as they have to prepare the meal to a certain timescale.

As others have pointed out this can lead to the food being ruined if it is left sitting around.

Definitely after, we went to a wedding where they were before and everyone just spent the time wondering where the food was, I think it's better to have a relaxed audience rather than one watching the time. Besides speechmakers will have been stressed about their speeches for months, so an extra hour or two won't matter.

We are thinking of doing the speeches before the meal as my Dad not looking forward to his speech!
His speech so far....

He stands up and says "Hello, I have prepared two speeches, the short version and the long version, here is the short version....Thank you ...... and the long version......Thank You very much"id="purple">

So you can see that I am looking forward to that...lol!

E?

quote:Originally posted by PenelopeP
I like the idea of doing them before the meal BUT I was at a wedding where this happened and the speeches went on a lot longer than anticipated and the meal was ruined! Someone got up and waffled on for half an hour! Very annoying if that happens after the meal, but potentially disastrous if they do it beforehand!

So make sure your speech givers know how long they have and keep strictly to timing and be very very very careful if you're opening the floor.

Pen

Good idea and duly noted!

E

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