Strippers abroad and table dancers

My OH had his stag do in Riga, Latvia and stayed in a hotel with in house lapdancers who mingled among the guests during the entire weekend (booked as a surprise by the best man). The rules were different to here, and yes, they could touch them, but he didn't. I trusted him not to as we both agreed this was a step too far and he had no wish to anyway. The guys paid for a lap dance for him and he sat on his hands, looked only at her eyes, and talked about the upcoming wedding (or so he says). He was happy to answer any questions I had when he got home to reassure me, but the fact that he was so open, meant I didn't really have any questions.

I didn't like it, but he knew how much I was willing to accept, and agreed with me (he really just wanted to watch the footie on the big screen but when it's your stag do, you have to play along).

Yes there can be touchy feely both ways ? Just make sure you're both clear on what's acceptable and not before he goes and you just have to trust him.

My H went to Amsterdam for his stag do. I vaguely remember something about table dancers but I must admit I wasn't really listening, sorry!

I'm pretty sure they can touch though.

No experience of this but I think only you and your OH can decide what you consider to be cheating. As long as you agree on some ground rules before you go and he sticks to them you'll be fine.

Agree with the others - I think it is fine to discuss beforehand what you consider to be acceptable. I wish things like this didn't bother me, but they do, so I have told OH what I do and don't feel comfortable with. I don't want to restrict him, so like you, I accept they will go to these places, but I've told him that touching is a step too far, and I also don't agree with private dances.

The rules vary a lot on the location.

We have a look don't touch rule!

Perhaps I'm going against the grain, but I told my OH he could do whatever he wanted for his stag do, and if he wanted to visit a strip club then fine, I just wouldn't want to know what had happened. As it turns out he didn't go abroad and there were no strip clubs or anything, so nothing to worry about, but I wouldn't particularly mind, we weren't married at the time so it wasn't an affair and I trusted him to only go as far as he felt was ok.

He opted to nothing like that as he didn't want to, that made me smile

I don't know rules or regulations, but I always believed some kind of touching was allowed, otherwise what are you paying money for?

I'm with Maxine and wasn't bothered - mine went to Budapest.

I think being chilled about it will potentially save you a lot of aggro. He's coming home to you, and will be marrying you - and none of these girls will be any threat to your relationship.

I like the hubby above who just said he looked into the stipper's eyes!

Mine went to Madrid and had a lapdance, don't know much more about it than that but I'm not really bothered what happened. A random stripper is no threat to anyone's relationship.

I think you should bare in mind that touching or not it will be a very drunken public show far from intimate or sexual in any way shape or form...as the others had said... sometimes ignorance is bliss.

I would not like it, If my husband to be went to a stipper on his stag night weather he touched or not I would not be happy, I do trust him but this is something I trust him not to do.

Amsterdam is a great place though we go 2 times a year as a couple and have done for the past 4 years but we have never been anywhere that have table dancers I have only every came across them in Thailand but I guess when we go Amsterdam we just stick to coffee shops and laugh at the people doing the walk of shame (walking out the windows)

I think saying things like no stripper is a threat to anyone's relationship is a bit naive. A 'no touching' policy in a club doesn't exist once they've finished their shift and left the building. Not that I'm saying we should all be paranoid messes sitting at home planning our revenge for what they may or may not have done, but you need to be realistic. People lie and people cheat. I'm not personally a fan of my OH going to see strippers or having one for his stag, not because I think he'd do anything (I wouldn't be with him if I did!) I just don't like the idea of some half naked woman prancing around in front of him. If he does then I won't get in a strop or anything, but I won't be happy and I know he's not really interested in having one anyway.

If I thought my OH was the kind of person who would cheat on me with a stripper, I wouldn't be marrying him. If I couldn't trust him to get drunk and horny without cheating on me, I wouldn't be marrying him.

Most strippers and lap dancers are really not interested in having affairs, or post-shift afters. It's just a job.

People are more lilely to cheat with somebody they work with - I see it all the time in my area of work - never had anyone run off or have an affair with a stripper, as yet!

Ha realised how my last post sounded!

I didn't mean my workplace was a hotbed of affairs! In my office we are 99% women! I meant I see it a lot in what I do.

I know a few people who have slept with strippers on stags. Some the stags themselves. One I used to work with, I never liked him but could never pinpoint why, actually left his fiancée for the stripper. Needless to say that didn't last long because she slept with another customer and he dumped her.