Struggling to justify cost...

I was exactly the same. However, we didnt have a 'comfy' budget. We saved up and paid for things as we could. I ended up spending £180 on my wedding dress and £26 on my shoes. I couldnt get around paying thousands on a dress, even though my mum offered to pay for it. I think it just because its 1 day and you spend all this money on 1 day sums it up really on why I couldnt justify anything expensive. Does that makes sense?

I feel the same. Of course i would love a beautiful designer gown worth thousands, who wouldn't? But im trying to budget 300-500 for a dress. I havent been dress shopping yet so i may change my mind if i cant find anything for that ha! But the way i try to look at it, is that after the day is over, i would be landed with a dress worth thousands hung up never to be worn again, so the money is best off spent elsewhere!

You don't have to spend thousands or "just" hundreds on a wedding dress, the one that you want is the right one, even if it comes from a charity shop for £100.

I think a lot of it is that women are conditioned from an early age that "their big day" has to be the biggest - and by natural extension the most expensive - day of their life, and they just have to look like a princess, even if they'd personally rather wear jeans and a t-shirt.

£500 is not a lot for a wedding outfit, but if that's the one you really want then there's a reason. Is any of the outfit something you can wear at any point in the future? Most wedding dresses are completely useless for anything apart from the one day and cluttering up the wardrobe in all honesty and I really wonder sometimes why more 'practical outfits' aren't considered more acceptable for a wedding dress.

Jude - I went through exactly the same thing when I bought mine (and in the end I spent a few thousand). It actually took Mr CB saying to me 'it's your money and it's our only wedding, have the dress you want' to persuade me.

Even after that, I had a couple of sleepless nights justifying it to myself (maybe that's the key, justifying it to yourself, not to other people) but I am very happy with my choice.

It's an important day in our lives, I want to look my best and I want to enjoy the experience of having something made just for me. I can sell it afterwards if I want to reclaim some of the cost otherwise I will be the very proud owner of an expensive memory. Either way, I'm happy with my choice.

I hope you find that one day it will just 'click' for you and become acceptable. It's not worth the expenditure if it'll make you feel bad. Concentrate on why it's the right outfit for you, what it symbolises and how looking back at pictures of you in it will make you feel in years to come.

What CB said. Although all my agonising was done in about three hours. With the help of a bottle of Chablis.

Hey date twin........I think we all at some point think oh my god how much.....whether we have a big budget or a small budget. I certainly did.

I spent £1000 on my dress when I first got married and it still sits in a suitcase, dirty under my old bed in my mum's house!! It's come out twice in that time. Once for me to see how much weight i've lost since I split up with the ex and the other time it was my fancy dress costume when I went as the queen at coronation! haha!

This time round I was determined to spend no more than £350 (especially when I was paying for it) and was quite happy in high street dress like monsoon, phase eight if I could find one. Lucky for me my mum has offered to pay for it but I still found a dress for under £500 (just although she would've had me in the most expensive) that I am very happy with and although it's still far too much money for a dress that you will wear for one day in terms of what everything else costs for a wedding it's relative. If you think that some cakes cost £400-£500 and all that happens with that is it gets cut up for people to forget to take a piece home at the end of the night if you feel great in your outfit then why not go for it and feel like a million dollars on a very important day.

Have you tried looking for cheaper alternatives to justify it to yourself or is your heart set on what you have found? x

Absolutely what Cricks said. It is a lot of money for one day, and that thought went through my mind too. However, when I tried on 'the one' that was it and the decision was very quickly made over a glass of wine! Well, strictly speaking the decision was made in my mind after about 2 minutes of being in the dress.

I am considering selling mine afterwards to recoup some of the costs. There is high demand for second hand wedding dresses which have, afterall, only been worn once! If my dream dress had been way out of my budget, I would have gone down this route.

I struggled to justfiy spending £300 on my dress knowing that i was going to need alterations, but in a moment of clarity - H2bs outfit is more expensive!!! He will be in a Burberry suit and very beautiful lovely light grey that he was bought by his dad for christmas last year (his dad is quite high up in burberry) he has only worn it once and I have banned him from wearing it again until the big day.

AJ i deliberately chose an outfit I could use again. Even bearing in mind that I will be wearing all of the outfit, as separates, on other occasions I'm still having trouble! I agree that £1000s on a dress you'll wear once is an extravagance, and £500 is very reasonable. I've spent loads of evenings looking for cheaper versions of what I want and I'm getting depressed. I've even looked into making my own skirt (not corset!) to make it seem more reasonable.

The other thing thats p*ssing me off is I had this exact conversation with my OH a few months ago over his outfit! I told him to get the expensive kilt not the cheap one because he deserved it, he'd look better, it's for his big day, and he'd get wear out of it afterwards.

GRRRRR! Why can't I take my own advice?!

I totally know what you mean.

I can see how someone can get carried away and spend £1000s on a dress, because it is their big day. It must be nice to go to a fancy shop, have someone measure you and create a dress to your exact specificaitons etc etc.

I cannot though! I am not poor and I am not rich. Yes, I am sure I could have saved up/continue to save in order to buy the "dress of my dreams", but I would much rather spend the money on a deposit to upgrade from a flat to a house or save for children.

The way I see it, it is likely to only get worn once and will sit yellowing in a box. If I have a daughter, she will not want to wear it as I am sure it will be very uncool in 30 years' time.

The dress of my dreams is vintage, I have paid £250 and will spend a couple of hundred getting it altered and embellished (more petticoats/sash etc). The dress is cotton lace, so after the wedding I will get it dyed and wear it again! It's a 50s style tea dress so I think I can get away with that!

To be honest, when I see a lot of expensive wedding gowns, I can't see where all the money has gone. My SIL spent £1000s on a dress, she looked lovely and everything, but up close, I couldn't see why it had cost so much!

I don't think we've been introduced, lovelygirl?! ? if you ever get any nice freebies please wing them my way..

Sorry - must focus. My wedding dress cost a lot more than I first intended to spend, however it was bespoke and designer (don't mean to sound tacky there). I did look high and low for a more budget dress but couldn't find one that felt as good as my final choice. Yes, it is a lot of money to spend on a dress you will wear once but I didn't want to have any regrets. I felt like a million (insert currency of choice here) so my dress was worth every penny.

I am now selling said dress to try and recoup some of the costs so if any of you have sturdy friends who are looking for a dress, point them in my direction please!

This is what im planning on doing. Well, id rather find a cheap dress but if i find 'the one' and it costs a grand then i think id have to get it and sell it after. Not sure how much u'd get but id guess at about £500, so my dream dress would actually cost me £500 ? id then be sh*t scared that i couldnt sell it after though.

I've tried to sell my first one with no luck. I have a raw silk dress with 2 matching bridesmaids dresses, all handmade and easliy alterable, but I couldn't get £50 for all 3 on Ebay. I guess I could wait another 10 years and list is as 'vintage'....!

I bid on a vintage style dress on ebay.

The girl who listed it said it was expensive as it was "bespoke", but it wasn't my size so I would have had to pay to get it altered. I was willing to pay £350 and no more so it did not meet the reserve. I think what she didn't realise was that the fact that it was bespoke for her means nothing to someone wanting to buy it for themselves!

If you don't mind me asking, what size is your dress? My best friend's getting married next year and I wonder if it'll suit his B2B (if she's not funny about having a preloved dress that is)